AIBU to feel unsafe about a five-hour drive after his early shifts?

I think he’ll be fine to drive. He’ll know his limits and will stop for a break when he needs to.

I’d definitely build your confidence up to drive on the motorway. I love driving and didn’t have any motorway lessons, but two weeks after I passed my test, my Mum died and I had to jump in the car and drive 300 miles, so I never had chance to think about it. Once you’ve found your confidence, you’ll be fine to do the driving. Do it sooner, rather than later.

You've admitted that you do actually have a driving license, so if you're that worried- you drive!

Some government stats/advice...

Husbands lol.

You know, us ladeez can drive too 🤣

And yes, I could do it.

I’ve done 2 15 hour shifts with little sleep in between and then driven for 8 hours after. I’m still here to tell the tale.

if he starts to get tired, stop and get a coffee or energy drink.

You dont make ur bed and lie in it there are ways out I promise u that if u need help the community can find it for u. I don't wanna make snap judgements here but if u need anything let me know let us the net mums community know and we'll help x

Is this for a graduation ceremony? Wedding?

what time are you due to leave?

OP, if you can't afford to pay for motorway lessons, you really do not need too..

If you know how to join from a slip road to a dual carriage way then it's just that.

When you've got an hour free, go take a drive to your closest, join, stay left until your comfortable, turn off at the first exit and there is normally a nice big roundabout for you to join and turn back on.

Once you've done it once you will be so mad at yourself for letting it hold you back, but at least you'll have done it!

You're a contributer. It would cost the state thousands to look after your dc. Don't beat yourself up about that.

Cross-posted sorry.

If you care for two disabled adult children then your financial situation isn't really down to bad decisions. I'm guessing your husband doesn't give you access to family money, or do you just mean that's only enough to cover essentials not extras?

Either way, it sounds tough.

Well you don't actually need motorway lessons if you can't afford them. Could your DH/family member/friend take you for a couple of motorway lessons instead?

You mean you have no income at all? No work/benefits?

My husband has little sleep and could easily do the drive .

I wouldn't do this myself, but I never really get enough sleep, so I get tired driving long distance, and would not be doing 5 hours after a full shift at work.

But to be honest, I'd question driving 5 hours today and then 5 hours tomorrow, is it necessary to have such a tight timeframe? Can you not go really early tomorrow (his normal work get up time) and come back on Sunday?

Get some sweets, a large bag of Doritos and whatever caffeinated sweet fuzzy drink he likes. Then if you think he’s getting in ‘the zone’ you can offer him drinks/snacks to snap him out of it.

I could do this as one off, yes. Especially with a passenger to help keep me alert. Just encourage a couple of stops if needed for fresh air and coffee.

Unless he’s form for driving dangerously (which is a bigger issue than this one!)

I don’t want to keep beating you up about it but take some additional lessons with an instructor so you gain confidence motorway driving, you never know when you’ll need it. Would make everyone’s life easier if you routinely do long trips - me and DH would just split this drive.

Personally yes my DH would be able to do this as he does do similar shifts to the OP's and is a lorry driver.

On the hand I know personally I would not be able to do the same drive after being up at 4am.

OP as others have suggested, if you feel comfortable doing a little of the drive or the alternative would be just plan in a few stops for a coffee etc.

I’d change plans or drive yourself. Driving after the time he would normally fall asleep is unsafe, and statistically dangerous.

The OPs concerns are valid. Plenty of people are in my opinion unfit to drive, not just most of those in BMWs who refuse to use indicators.

A share of the driving and a change in part of the route would be one option.

Take the train?

I agree mostly with what you’ve said. The OP has stated that she isn’t comfortable with motorway driving, so throwing herself in at the deep end today so to speak, isn’t the wisest choice either and could potentially be just as dangerous in her head.
Like I said though, there’s way more to this imagine.

But the alternative if OP isn’t comfortable with it is either not going or sharing the driving.

If I was worried about my safety then I would drive myself or at least do half so DH can relax or have a nap.

It’s a shame we don’t know more details as someone could probably come up with an alternative solution but I guess OP would have thought of that already and so it seems she needs to choose between being afraid for her life in the passenger seat or feeling nervous in the driving seat.
I know which one I’d prefer personally.