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Original poster

Do I appear to be untrustworthy

39 replies

LivelySquid · 08/07/2026 07:21

I'm happily married. My dh trusts me 100% and I would never cheat on him.
I still like my nights out with friends. However, I'm quite outgoing. My personality and body language can come across as flirty. He gets that and so do my friends and he and they just laugh about it.
I was talking to a male aquaintance on a night out about all sorts, having a laugh. Duting the conversation he asked me if my dh trusts me. Would you be offended by this?
Does this mean I look like I'm a potential cheat throwing myself at people?
I should tone down my personality so I don't give out the wrong impression?
His question has been playing on my mind since then.

OP posts:
Original poster
LivelySquid · 08/07/2026 07:56

Cardamomandlemons · 08/07/2026 07:53

The right answer would have been "yeah my husband loves my bubbly personality and he knows I'm 100% faithful"

I said nothing and tried to ignore it, it caught me by surprise and I couldn't think of anything. Felt slightly awkward from then on.

OP posts:
Cardamomandlemons · 08/07/2026 07:53

The right answer would have been "yeah my husband loves my bubbly personality and he knows I'm 100% faithful"

Original poster
LivelySquid · 08/07/2026 07:53

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 08/07/2026 07:50

What does your ‘flirty’ look like?
speaking to others and laughing is not flirty.
-body touching, deep looks, hugging, disappearing off for a private chat is.

Speaking to others, having a laugh. My friends say I have a cheeky, flirty twinkle in my eye.
Body touching, deep looks & disappearing off for private chats - no.

OP posts:
Oncemorewithsome · 08/07/2026 07:52

He was testing your boundaries… the correct answer is “yes, completely as he knows I wouldn’t even contemplate cheating”…

BravasPatatas · 08/07/2026 07:52

I’m interested in what your self proclaimed ‘flirty’ behaviour looks like. Being outgoing and friendly isn’t flirty, so is it things like prolonged eye contact, touching etc?

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 08/07/2026 07:50

What does your ‘flirty’ look like?
speaking to others and laughing is not flirty.
-body touching, deep looks, hugging, disappearing off for a private chat is.

Original poster
LivelySquid · 08/07/2026 07:47

glaciercherry · 08/07/2026 07:39

So you are well aligned with your DH and friends, but a not well aligned with a random colleague who said something about how you act on a work night out that would affect how he thought about it if it he were in a relationship with you?

You can safely ignore that.

I can see why you’re upset, anyone would be, we don’t want to be accused of being untrustworthy. But it just goes to show why you’re married to your DH and not a random colleague. You’re fine, please ignore the comment or come up with a great retort for next time he says anything like that.

His question caught me by surprise and I couldn't think of anything. I should have thrown the question back at him, see how he liked it.

OP posts:
Original poster
LivelySquid · 08/07/2026 07:44

BeSunnyLemonSheep · 08/07/2026 07:37

You have self control.

If you’re flirting with other people then regardless of whether you’re trustworthy or not, and regardless of whether your DH trusts you or not, you come across as an untrustworthy person because you are behaving like an untrustworthy person.

Show quote history

I don't see why I should be unrelaxed and on my guard all night & practically change my personality though.

OP posts:
glaciercherry · 08/07/2026 07:39

So you are well aligned with your DH and friends, but a not well aligned with a random colleague who said something about how you act on a work night out that would affect how he thought about it if it he were in a relationship with you?

You can safely ignore that.

I can see why you’re upset, anyone would be, we don’t want to be accused of being untrustworthy. But it just goes to show why you’re married to your DH and not a random colleague. You’re fine, please ignore the comment or come up with a great retort for next time he says anything like that.

BeSunnyLemonSheep · 08/07/2026 07:37

LivelySquid · 08/07/2026 07:34

I don't intenionally set out to act flirty, it's just my natural personality

Show quote history

You have self control.

If you’re flirting with other people then regardless of whether you’re trustworthy or not, and regardless of whether your DH trusts you or not, you come across as an untrustworthy person because you are behaving like an untrustworthy person.

Pieandchips999 · 08/07/2026 07:35

I think your acquaintance was asking that to see if he had a chance. If it doesnt bother your husband I wouldn't worry

Original poster
LivelySquid · 08/07/2026 07:34

Idontjetwashthefucker · 08/07/2026 07:27

If I acted flirty then no it wouldn't offend me

I don't intenionally set out to act flirty, it's just my natural personality

OP posts:
Conchiglie · 08/07/2026 07:27

I think this question says more about him than about you OP. Your DH trusts you - it doesn't matter what this guy thinks.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 08/07/2026 07:27

If I acted flirty then no it wouldn't offend me

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