Neighbours angry at DS for snapping back and daughter’s homophobia - hypocrisy??

The fact that even the comments about school friends is all about also sharing his crushes and that it seeming his being gay his crushes are the problem.

Nothing else about friendships in general. The boys don’t want him as they don’t want to hear who he fancies out of them. The girls don’t want to hear who he fancies and he only moved to them when the boys didn’t want him.

Maybe stop making his friendships and conversations all about who he fancies.

It’s weird for that to be your only conversation that the only thing he wants to share is what boys he fancies. Making his sexuality his only conversation basically and it’s putting off both sexes as friends. I’d also say it would off a future boyfriend as well.

The police who took my son's second ABH statement charged the boy who had beaten him up with aggravating factors because he was calling my son "gay boy" when he hit him and spat on him. My son was 14 and funnily enough not gay not that it's relevant.

The homophobic adding to the narrative is really showing

I think his reaction was so severe, disproportionate and horrible that it totally turned the table on who the victim was. "Gay boy" maybe unpleasant if said as a taunt (though nothing compared to a homophobic insult, tbh), but calling 8 year old a "stupid bitch" is a bit much. Good job he did not punch her, I guess you would have justified that, too?

You think it's homophobic to point out the discrepancy between an 8 year old and a 13 year old?

The age difference is the same as between a three year old and an eight year old, or a thirteen year old and an eighteen year old. Obviously.

What is it on op's posts suggest being gay is his only personality trait and also what is a gay personality?

Yes the rampant homophobia on here is very uncomfortable

The rampant homophobia is disgusting on here

This, there are many many posters on this thread who seem to be taking delight at an 8yo being told she’s a bitch and should be punished… grim! @mnhq this is getting uncomfortable

But the op made it clear the talking about crushes was only with friends when they brought it up. There's also no evidence in ops posts that suggest his sexuality is his only identity just that he's been bullied and isolated for it. My teenagers (the three that I've raised) haven't had much of an issue discussing crushes and don't tend to pay much attention to where their 8 year old sister or her friends are unless they're directly being bothered by them. They don't pay attention. I do because I'm the parent. The kids may have been at a distance from the parents. Op hasn't described the location the kids were at either. Some of your comments about his sexuality being his only identity are also concerning from someone involved with impressionable teenagers on a day to day basis. You've also made comments about sexualising children out of the blue. There is no evidence of this in any of op's posts. I'd bet for everyone of us who's kids do one thing there are 5 others who's kid's are different with different understanding of things or who do completely different things.

Yes I can’t say any of mine have been caught or heard discussing crushes with friends or family children but I’ve no doubt at school with their mates they do.

Talk of a girlfriend or boyfriend yes but not who they fancy.

I tend to agree with some other posters that this wee lad seems to be very wrapped up in being gay rather than just being a person. Which may well be what’s putting his peers off. Gay has become his whole personality.

What?

Ok this thread is something someone has made up to garner responses for some reason.

Surely nobody really thinks a 13 year old and an 8 year old are on the same level? Surely nobody thinks a 13 year old can be excused for calling an 8 year old a bitch?

An 8 year old may not understand all the nuance but they know laughing and calling someone weird for being different is hurtful and mean

And her actions were still homophobic, whether she understands that or not

Like everyone here I only know whats in the OP 's posts.

I have four children, the youngest is 15, and have had teenagers through the house for a decade, plus I worked in education with secondary age for a lot longer.

Generally teenagers do not sit around talking about "crushes" if adults are in the room (they may talk to the adults separately, but they don't gossip about crushes with younger children in front of adults) and they definitely don't usually have that sort of conversation in front of much younger siblings. At 13 it's all embarrassing - they talk but not in that mixed setting and never in front of little children.

An 8 year old has significantly less ability to understand the nuances of language, what's socially appropriate, and also many don't really even know what sexuality is really about, so the concept of homophobia as such doesn't apply.

When they make rude or inappropriate comments they need some guidance.

A 13 year old is a totally different story and he was completely inappropriate. He lost his bottle and I think that's not a shock, it's very human, but not the same thing.

I'm not surprised her parents took her home .

My 8 year old does. By year 3/4 kids are being taught equality and diversity. Depending on what their school's are teaching and when they may be fully aware. Also anyone who's parents are gay or have gay friends will know.

Its exactly what you said
Because he reacted then what she did doesn't matter

What level?

A 13 and an 11 year old talking about crushes isn't odd

They could have been sat elsewhere and talking and little sister starts butting in the way younger siblings do

You've added so much to this narrative to justify your own homophobia

Your the one sexualising children if anything

No. You are purposely missing my point.

No, the 8 year old and her parents are not "more" in the wrong than your son. Both are wrong, but more is expected of a 13 year old than an 8 year old.

The 8yr old was rude and should have been told off immediately by her parents, but your son is 5 years older than this girl, called her a stupid bitch, told her to fuck off, then refused to apologise. I think your neighbours did the right thing in leaving at that point, as the situation clearly wasn't going to improve.

Why isn't it normal? The kids may go to the same school and with few friends and living next door they may be close. Not every child is the same by any stretch. I'm at a loss how you know his sexuality is his only personality or how children are being sexualised?

This level of talking about "crushes" to 11 year olds, in front of both sets of parents and an 8 year old, is not normal regardless of sexuality.

13 year olds do not normally tell neighbor 11 year olds about "their crushes" whilst sitting with parents and younger siblings.

The 13 year old sounds as though his sexuality has been made into his only identity ever since he was a pre teen.

A 13 year old and an 8 year old are developmentally so far apart that the idea of a 13 year old having any excuse for calling an 8 year old a "bitch" and telling her to fuck off is even less developmentally sound than thinking a 13 year old and a developmentally average adult should be held equally responsible if they get into a fist fight.

I really doubt this happened - nobody is this blinkered about sexualising children and about the difference between an 8 and a 13 year old!

Hmm so you're saying the women on this thread calling it misogynistic are wrong. What if I said "gay boy" isn't homophobic and has been reclaimed etc. Does that make it ok to say? No it doesn't.

I find it strange that you are so set on telling women what they can and can't be offended by and defending a 13 year old boy for calling an 8 year old a stupid bitch.

Clearly we will never agree on this so I'll bow out now.

So an 8 year old is unable of knowing what racism , ableism and homophobia are. Wow. Maybe in your household but not in households that raise children properly and to be decent human beings.

Nope the word bitch is widely used across social media and among younger generations of both sexes. It’s in no way comparable and the wronged child here was the one on the end of homophobia. Just vile.