6yo completely loses the plot after TV/tablet use, what do I do?

A 6YO doesn’t need a tablet. She’s unlikely to need one for school for years, probably secondary in the state sector so that’s not a reason to give her one. I wouldn’t cut out the TV completely because that doesn’t seem fair to others in the house but I would set clear boundaries like she gets 1 episode of whatever she wants from Netflix and then it’s someone else’s turn to choose.

My 5 y/o reacts really badly if she watches trash on Netflix (Gabby's dollhouse, etc.). We let her watch stuff on CBBC on the TV at weekends. No tablet here and definitely no YouTube.

45 minutes is a lot for a 6yo. Cut it down to 5-10 mins at most.

We found that was worse with YouTube, so don't allow that at all really. DS (5) was like that over YouTube and some computer games, as well as TV in general occasionally.

We don't use a tablet, and I think that does also make it harder as they have a sense of ownership over it.

One episode at a time works better, so my DC have to ask for each additional episode they watch. If they kick off or don't ask then they lose TV for the day/next day depending on timing. YouTube is bad because it just runs on forever: it doesn't feel like distinct episodes. I also find an episode works better than "after x minutes" because it's a more distinct and satisfying end. It's worse when DS is getting tired like towards the end of term or after a particularly busy weekend.

What is the playing/watching? It should be slow paced shows on tv if possible - llama llama, puffin rock, bluey are good choices. Get rid of iPad - zero need. Short videos/scrolling is horrific for emotional regulation and attention. Have predictable times and lengths eg two Bluey’s (20 mins) and then it’s up until tomorrow . Watch with her and ease the transition by moving into something fun like art etc. you don’t necessarily have to get rid completely but you do have to parent .

I totally think banning it is the answer. Screens mask or worsen underlying problems often because it changes neurochemistry. You need to detox her to understand if this is effect of screen time itself or something like ADHD…

My partner was diagnosed with ADHD as a child when there were no screens. He is in his 40s now and we both notice massive difference in his symptoms when he uses screens/phones vs not. He manages without medication and if he spends lets say 3 hours on his day off on the phone scrolling he is a nightmare to deal with. He is an adult and can control himself but the impulsivity aspect is more obvious in kids!

Mine is 7, she's never had a tablet or phone or anything except the TV. No YouTube, nothing. She has survived.

As others have said it really is as simple as removing screens! I have a 9yo and 7yo, we don't own a tablet in this house, Youtube is completely banned as are a few cartoons. We sometimes watch TV, ie movies together on the weekend. When my eldest was younger I didn't allow any TV on weekdays, neither he nor his brother even ask for it because it's just ingrained. So many studies showing how detrimental screentime is to children, I don't know why people allow it as much as they do. 45 minutes is so much for a 6 year old! If children don't have screens, they occupy themselves in other ways or just allow themselves to be bored from time to time. It's good for them!

YouTube is the worst. We’ve banned it and gone back to CBeebies / CBBC (or things like the Gruffalo on player).

Behaviour has, probably unsurprisingly, improved tenfold.

She won’t do it though, which is such a shame for the poor DD.

It’s worth remembering that doing things we like gives us a dopamine hit. This can the mean that people find it hard to leave things they enjoy. Just look at the amount of adults who find it difficult to be without their phones for instance.

At age 6 your child is not yet emotionally developed to handle this. So you need to either remove screens altogether or manage it for her and that will mean a strong, solid routine with consequences.

Set a boundary - 1 programme she chooses, then off. No programme the next day if she throws a fit. Follow that boundary ruthlessly. Like a dog in training they’ll sniff out any weakness on your part

is it realistic? 100% yes. It’ll be good for every kid in the household not to watch tv. They’ll play, create, talk instead

As she will use tablets and computers at school, she will still learn how to use them and wont miss out on anything learning wise, so taking it away at home wont disadvantage her.

She is telling you she doesnt have the skills to deal with screens. She doesnt need to be on them. So take them away.

12 year old gets scared at certain 12A films but still wants to watch them. They lose sleep, get really clingy and anxious. You wouldnt keep putting on those films, you'd wait until they were a bit older, because they dont NEED to watch them.

10 year old always gets wound up after a few days with a lot of sugar. You took them out for cake, sweets at the cinema, chocolate on the sofa, Gran gave them a sugar mouse, and they went to a birthday party. They dont NEED all the other stuff, but you know they will want to join in at parties, so in future you make sure you reduce what they have at home to balance what they will have at the party. They dont miss out entirely, but they clearly dont NEED more.

Taking them away is the right thing!

These things are literally designed to be addictive- of course a 6yo can't deal with it. You know what you need to do.

We don't get the violence, but my 6 year old also struggles with screens being taken away, giant meltdowns at times. She's diagnosed with autism and on the waiting list for ADHD.

What helps:
Severely restricting tablet time. I'm talking a couple of hours a month
Refusing access completely to youtube- the short videos are by far the biggest trigger.
Limiting Netflix or anything where one video rolls into the next
Trying to keep to actual channels, i.e. CBBC, as the change in programs stops her from becoming obsessive
Making a concerted effort to stop putting on 'background' TV.
Using clear countdowns. Timers are a trigger here, but you've got one program left, you've got 10 minutes left, as soon as this ends it's going off. The stopping of a programme is a bigger trigger
Encouraging podcasts, this has been really helpful
'Family time' TV, where it's not a kid programme, but is something related- gladiators, catchphrase, so they haven't always got the choice
Films to encourage the longer time sitting, not short dopamine bursts

YouTube content is shite even on the kids version. I would get that off your TV straightaway.

Tablet has gone because you won’t behave when it’s time to turn it off. When you think you are grown up enough to be a good girl when it’s time to switch off, let me know and we can talk about reintroducing it.
And no, not tomorrow. Show me some proof first.

Hide the tablet and TV remote. We “lose” the remote as needed.

This. Take away the tablet and give her more 1 to 1 time. She's learning that screaming gets attention and she clearly wants more attention, which is reasonable to an extent.

The kids Netflix stuff won’t be inappropriate in its content, I agree, for me it’s the way the people on the shows speak to each other. Lots of disrespect and sass

This, take back control.
Does she behave like that when it’s taken away at school?

“Needs the least amount of input from me”

Well maybe she does need it but isn’t getting unless she “kicks off”.

Also your comment about you not knowing what she’s watching- that’s so wrong,, don't let that happen!

You know taking it away completely is the solution. You just don’t want to do it because it’s extra work for you.