6yo completely loses the plot after TV/tablet use, what do I do?

I wouldnt assume that Netflix content is fine purely because it’s on a kids profile. There is a lot of complete brain-rotting garbage on there and a recent increase in YouTube content now being included too. We have a few shows that are banned (that awful YouTuber one of the father and daughter for example).

To echo what others have said, lose the tablet, ban YouTube, cut TV time right down and restrict it to more appropriate channels like cbbc. If they must watch Netflix, restrict what they have access to.

Don't allow YouTube.

I saw a friends kid watching unsupervised and even on a kids video I saw the presenters telling the viewers, 'if you don't subscribe and like Mummy and Daddy won't love you anymore'. Kids content. Just awful.

My DS is almost 4 so younger but I always notice his behavior is worse after too much screen time but mainly when it's not good quality.

We don't do Netflix, just BBC iplayer programmes but I dont feel the need to limit as they're pretty calm and dont seem to cause any problem but youtube is horrendous. He wants to watch video after video, they're fast paced, overstimulating etc. He seems to struggle once that is over.

My solution is that he's only allowed Youtube on a sunday and it's for a very limited length of time like an hour or 2. I didn't want to cut it out altogether as he does watch fairly educational stuff on there.

I'd limit what she's allowed to watch, make sure it's not really overstimulating, fast paced etc. I know the calmer programmes for younger kids (Bluey, Giant Jack, Puffin Rock etc) but I'm sure there'll be a list for 6 year olds too.

Stop giving her screens. My DS went through a phase like this and still does every now and again. Screen get removed for a week or two completely. He now understands what that behaviour means. Longest we have had is a month without screens before due to behaviour when he came off.

100% remove Youtube and check what she is watching on Netflix. There are definitely programs on there that are Youtube style based ones (Salish and Jorden for one I have banned)

You need to know what she’s watching at 6 even if it’s kids’ Netflix.

No need for a tablet at 6. I’m old so iPads didn’t even exist until my eldest was 8 - they survived!

I did once catch them w friends looking at something very unsavoury on YouTube, think the eldest was 10 (not sure how they got the device in the first place - was a long time ago), but I banned screen time for two weeks after that (it was the last two weeks of the summer holidays so a bit painful all round).

Schools use tablets very differently so that wouldn’t be an issue.

Another one saying that YouTube is probably the main culprit. My 6 year old acts in an identical way to yours.. it's like a devil has got inside her.

She has still been watching some TV this week but much reduced, and we have banned YouTube entirely. So far the behaviour is much better.

I can't put my finger on what it is about YouTube that does it, as most of the stuff she watches on there is identical to what she would watch on TV e.g. she is watching Hey Duggee on there. But there's clearly something about it that is triggering something in her brain (Milo and Chip is now permanently banned).

Our son has a tablet but initially it only had homework tools on (when he was 5 and 6). We then downloaded stuff for when we were on holiday/abroad. He listens to his tonie box on car journeys. If its got you tube and programmes on thats on you. If its for homework then im guessing she won't want to be on it longer than necessary.

Agree don’t go down this route. Remove the screens, six is too young.

Seems pretty clear cut to me. She isn't ready to cope with a tablet yet so take it away until she's older.

Also just a quick follow up to say I would absolutely not be letting her watch anything on YouTube, and would closely regulate netflix usage - some of the shows are really fast paced and that does tend to cause more issues. We find that CBeebies (watched live in real time) is consistently good, and Bluey also seems to be fine.

I think this could be as simple as really clear boundaries and help with the transition. E.g., half an hour of TV a day at X time, and then a reminder whilst she's watching 'after this episode, we are turning the TV off', 'in five minutes it will be the end of the episode and we are turning the TV off'. Just so she knows what to expect and also that a tantrum will not change things.

As a rule, the smaller the screen the worse they are for children - so I wouldn't be letting her use a tablet, and certainly wouldn't be letting her watch anything on a phone or similar. TV or nothing, if school want to use tablets with them then that's in school time and not something you do at home.

We have had similar with our 3yo. We resolved as follow:
Before we started watching we agree how much (1 episode only) and agree no crying when it finishes. If really bad behaviour after, no tv the next day. Very very consistent that it is only one episode and we never give more (I think this is the most important thing as if they get different amounts they are always disappointed if they don’t get more). Also found that reading books to manage the transition helped calm her down a lot when we were starting out trying to solve this.
now she actually asks for the tv to be turned off after one episode.

Could you swap the tablet for a Yoto player. My kids are almost 6 and 4 and both love their Yoto players. My almost 6 year old will now go a chill out in the bed and listen to stories and doesn't seem to have a problem pausing it.

I think quite a few of the programmes on Netflix are quite addictive. A few weeks ago my almost 6 year old was crying on the floor in a playground because she wanted to watch a Netflix programme, my husband had put it on the day before.
Mostly my kids just watch Cbeebies or CBBC - in real time , not demand so it's similar to when I was a kid. They don't have a problem moving on from TV in this format.
My kids also watch a movie here and there in the afternoon at the weekend but I again try to choose wisely

Wtf is a six year old doing on screens anyway?!!!

Say the tablet broke and remove the TV. They do not need it and she cannot cope.

Screen use at school isn’t like at home- they’re not watching short episodes.

If you keep tv and screens stick to Disney films and gentle stuff on BBC Iplayer. No YouTube, and no quick, five minute episodes which ruin their attention span.

I took all 4 kids tablets away for 3 months. Just said I’d sold them. Behavior changed for the better in a remarkably short time. The 2 who had caused the ban found it harder than the 2 that hadn’t. Make sure you’re prepared to play games with them instead through. And encourage reading books etc. Because she probably won’t have the resources to entertain herself without direction.

How much sport does she do? My very angry child (now 20) needs a lot of activity to keep her temper in check. And she was not the one with the screen issues so sounds like you might have the double whammy.

Of course you can ban screens you’re the adult here. Explain why. But you need to provide alternatives and teach her how to occupy herself with them eg colourign workbooks crafts stories etc

Haven't read the whole thread but this worked for us. Get involved with what they're doing on the TV/tablet before you take it away. Ask them what they're doing/watching, sit with them and watch for a minute, say one or two things that show you're engaging with it/them - approving things not critical - and then say 'ok at the end of this episode' or whatever useful unit let's have tea, go out, whatever.

I'm not saying it's a cure but it it's much better than a hard transition.

I know it's difficult, it's become so normalised for young children to have access to screens but could you reframe it so rather than feeling like you're "taking it away", you're helping her, as is your responsibility as a parent, to not have access to things that are detrimental to her?

We know vaping is shit for us. Presumably you'll try to restrict her access to that for as long as possible, can you take the same approach with this?

If you take YouTube away for a week, you're pushing the problem a week down the road. She won't be any more developmentally able to cope with YouTube shorts next week, than she is this week. Does that make sense?

Adult to child, I'm going to let you do this thing that I know you can't cope with because you're a normal six year old, and results in your behaviour going haywire which is a completely reasonable reaction to something you shouldn't be exposed to in the first place, and then, I'm going to punish you for the behaviour?

What's wrong with this picture?

Mine are 18 an 21, so tablets were less of a thing until introduced at school in y5 (so around age 9?) hasn’t made them any less ‘addicted’ now, due to being in the lockdown generation where there was no choice to be online. If I could put the toothpaste back in the tube and not give them devices until mid/late teens I would.

In these circumstances I’m afraid I would remove screen devices completely until she is older. She can earn it back with good behaviour, but just 5-10min chunks of time.

I'm older and my son who is now 36 got quite addicted to TV. He liked the anime stuff that had just come out. TV addiction has been around for awhile but you are right the new programmes are worse. Similar to the way pokie machines work to get people addicted. My older boy had no interest in TV at all.

Warning time before taking it off completely and have a distraction prepared such as a snack or activity. This isn't a new problem, been around since the beginning of tv etc. Some people are more susceptible to the flow mechanism it gives their brain which can lead to screen addiction. It's especially common in people with add.

YouTube is a behaviour trigger for my 5 year old so we have a strict no YouTube rule in the mornings or before bed and she complains a lot less about getting ready for school or bed. She is allowed to watch on weekends but that’s after a couple of week long bans and she seems to understand now that it will go forever if she starts behaving the same again.

My 10 year old doesn’t have tantrums but she struggles to pull her attention away from a tablet and so we didn’t let her have her own til she was 8 and that’s also pretty much just for travelling and occasionally on weekends if she wants to hang out in her room for some quiet time.

I’ve found it’s often not a ‘screen’ issue on the whole, but the smaller the screen the worse it is and short form content like YouTube is hugely different to a half hour tv show.

6.5 here but yeah, same.

I've recently had to explain "cliff hangers" because he's gotten really into a couple of the star wars animated series - they're really good and have captured his imagination, which is great, but they're long running stories and obviously at first he was like "but I NEEEED to know what happens next!!" Understandable, tbf. His face when we explained we sometimes had to wait a WHOLE WEEK for next episodes when we were younger 🤣 Once he was used to it though, it's all fine again.

@TheJuryIsOut We tend to do set times for the telly so he knows what to expect and he will usually turn it off himself at the end point.