Why is life so unfair

Ah I’m sorry I can’t answer that. However, I have seen therapy be hugely effective with people I’ve worked with. The therapist and the type of therapy is really important - I’d suggest attachment or trauma focused work maybe with ACT or CFT lens with a fully qualified psychologist/psychotherapist. The 8 sessions of CBT online with someone who doesn’t have a very robust background is unlikely to be effective and is often what’s offered on NHS.

Life is unfair
life is usually a struggle
you don’t always get what you want or even need
these are keys lessons parents need to teach children

I have a friend who is severely physically disabled- she can be exhausted for the day after making herself a cup of tea. She can’t travel more than an hour or so before the pain becomes unbearable. Why? It’s so dreadful unfair. But she gets on with it.

you only get one shot and one hand. You need to make the best of it however crap. and you can’t change the past you can only hope to steer the future. Experience joy now. Try and make up the time.

And people are more likely to like and care for you if you are a more positive person - catch 22 I know

. But yes it is unfair.

Honestly? I just don't dwell on it. I've been an adult now for a lot longer than I was a child in an abusive household. I'm in charge of my destiny and I've had a great adulthood. A couple of my siblings really dwell on the past and spend all their time blaming our childhood for their crap life. I think if you can just put it behind you and get on with things, look for the positive, you can change your life. Out of the five of us kids, the three who forgave and moved on are doing a lot better than two who seem to be replicating the household we grew up in, with violence and addiction.

I’m really sorry but this is what you have said

I look at children in the news who are similar to me. They only usually make the news when they are murdered. Preston Davey

So you have said Preston Davey is ‘similar to you.’ Preston Davey was repeatedly sexually assaulted and killed as a direct result to this.

I have not seen any mention of this in your OP. You have said your mother was abusive and I am sorry about this. I do think perhaps you have an idealised version of young people’s experiences. Yes, many will have a fairly uncomplicated time of things but plenty won’t. My own mother died when I was 16; of course it was very sad and meant I didn’t get to do many of the rites of passages you go through as a teen and young adult.

But the worst thing you can do is sink into a mire of self pity. Therapy inadvertently sometimes encourages this with a fixation on the past rather than a focus on the future.

If you really feel motivated to help children like Preston, why not look into how you can do that through family support work, even fostering. Preston’s happy times were with his foster family, after all.

I sympathise OP, but fair or unfair, you have to play the hand you’re dealt. You are 42, there is healing and living to be done, only you can do that. Take steps to improve what you can, one small thing at a time. Or keep ruminating on how unfair things are. The choice is yours.

I am so sorry this has been your experience. Trauma leaves such an impact and it sounds like you experienced several ACES - adverse childhood events, known to have a long term
impact. Can you source therapy? You can’t change the past - which is unfair - but you can shape your future . Best of luck going forward.

Comparing your past to Preston Davey is insensitive in the extreme.