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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think a male pill would be one of the best things that could happen to society?

183 replies

ZoeCM · 07/07/2026 13:30

A massive number of society's problems are caused by absent or bad fathers. Imagine if, before a baby was conceived, a man had to consciously think, "I want to have a child with this woman, so I'll come off the pill." Not just "I want to have sex, this woman is willing, and it'll be less enjoyable if we use a condom."

Of course, it wouldn't be a panacea. There would still sadly be men who choose to come off the pill but are bad fathers anyway, or decide once the reality of parenthood sets in that they can't be bothered. And there would also be men who just don't bother to take the pill properly and are then shocked when the woman gets pregnant. But on balance, if there were a way for men to have condom-free sex without potentially having to pay for a child for eighteen years afterwards, a lot of them would be downright religious in their use of it.

I'm genuinely intrigued to see if anyone disagrees with this. I can't see any downside.

OP posts:
Sahara123 · 07/07/2026 13:38

While I’m the one who runs the risk of getting pregnant no way would I take it on trust that a man is taking a contraceptive pill.

Echobelly · 07/07/2026 13:36

My DH has ADHD, so in the time before he was medicated, I wouldn't have trusted him to take it and, TBF, he wouldn't have trusted himself!

ThisOliveKoala · 07/07/2026 13:36

ZoeCM · 07/07/2026 13:30

A massive number of society's problems are caused by absent or bad fathers. Imagine if, before a baby was conceived, a man had to consciously think, "I want to have a child with this woman, so I'll come off the pill." Not just "I want to have sex, this woman is willing, and it'll be less enjoyable if we use a condom."

Of course, it wouldn't be a panacea. There would still sadly be men who choose to come off the pill but are bad fathers anyway, or decide once the reality of parenthood sets in that they can't be bothered. And there would also be men who just don't bother to take the pill properly and are then shocked when the woman gets pregnant. But on balance, if there were a way for men to have condom-free sex without potentially having to pay for a child for eighteen years afterwards, a lot of them would be downright religious in their use of it.

I'm genuinely intrigued to see if anyone disagrees with this. I can't see any downside.

Don’t women have the same choice?

MonsterasEverywhere · 07/07/2026 13:35

I'm sure they did trials a while back which were stopped because of the reported side effects (acne, mood swings, weight gain, change in sex drive...you know the stuff women put up with anyway).

WhatAMarvelousTune · 07/07/2026 13:33

The issue is trust. The consequences are more significant for the woman - I’d have to be in a very serious relationship before I trusted a man to take this. Not because I necessarily think they’re untrustworthy, just that the stakes are so high.

I’d trust DH, he doesn’t want more children, and is reliable at taking another daily medication so could take them together. He’s had a vasectomy so it’s moot but in theory I would trust him.

plims · 07/07/2026 13:33

Why do you think condom free sex is preferable? They protect each person from STD’s as well as pregnancy

ToKittyornottoKitty · 07/07/2026 13:33

Why do you think people might disagree?

randomchap · 07/07/2026 13:32

Would you trust a man who said "No need for a condom, I'm on the pill"?