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AIBU?

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Is this racism?

434 replies

cooooola · 07/07/2026 13:13

Basically I was at the pub in the pub and nobody was behind the bar.

I was first in line.

An elderly couple come and and then another man who slams his glass down.

When the bar lady asks "who is first"? I replied me.

The elderly couple say "we have been waiting ages".

And the man next says "I didn't see her".

I felt this was due to me being mixed race.
I felt quite intimidated.

I only popped in for a drink whilst OH has the kids.

I feel any shaken up as the only ethnic person in the place.
AIBU

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Paganpentacle · 07/07/2026 16:05

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 16:03

It's not going away because racism is now normalised.

And so has accusing people of it ...

Dontlletmedownbruce · 07/07/2026 16:04

So this man was engaging with you about the staff situation, being obviously rude and obnoxious about the pub and you think it was racism aimed at you? Surely if he was racist he wouldn't have talked to you. He sounds like a drunk loser and you are making a massive leap here.

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 16:04

5128gap · 07/07/2026 15:56

Could be. Or sexism. Or ageism. Or local pub for local peopleism.
Or the couple might have been sitting watching for the bar staff to arrive and the man might be just a rude twat. Impossible to know.
I'm sorry that we seem to have moved in a direction where that is your first fear. My friend who is 50, lived here all her life says she has never feared racism before, but she does now.

Well said.

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 16:03

Atkinsondesperation · 07/07/2026 15:53

You’re so wrong. It’s never going away, and it nothing to do with being edgy or clever. It’s a refusal to be manipulated into fear of racism accusations , as if the accusations are an ever present bogeyman that we have to run away from for in case we get accused yet again by the poor poor victims. Those intimidating victims ready to point the finger and tantrum over anything that miffs them, or triggers their ever ready to activate huffiness.

It's not going away because racism is now normalised.

Paganpentacle · 07/07/2026 16:02

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 15:22

This has ceased to be edgy or clever - if it ever was.

Wasn't meant to be.
Its now the stock response to the ever increasing bullshit calls of racism.

5128gap · 07/07/2026 15:56

Could be. Or sexism. Or ageism. Or local pub for local peopleism.
Or the couple might have been sitting watching for the bar staff to arrive and the man might be just a rude twat. Impossible to know.
I'm sorry that we seem to have moved in a direction where that is your first fear. My friend who is 50, lived here all her life says she has never feared racism before, but she does now.

cooooola · 07/07/2026 15:55

I always order on the app in my local one but the internet wasn't working on my phone and the signal was terrible.

OP posts:
Atkinsondesperation · 07/07/2026 15:53

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 15:22

This has ceased to be edgy or clever - if it ever was.

You’re so wrong. It’s never going away, and it nothing to do with being edgy or clever. It’s a refusal to be manipulated into fear of racism accusations , as if the accusations are an ever present bogeyman that we have to run away from for in case we get accused yet again by the poor poor victims. Those intimidating victims ready to point the finger and tantrum over anything that miffs them, or triggers their ever ready to activate huffiness.

Miyagi99 · 07/07/2026 15:53

DaffodilValley · 07/07/2026 13:22

I’m white and it happens to me all the time. I honestly don’t think it’s anything to do with your race.

Me too!

Averynicelady · 07/07/2026 15:50

Where you went wrong was ordering at the bar in a Weatherspoons

Use the app and the staff will bring your drinks over to you

Atkinsondesperation · 07/07/2026 15:48

Verv · 07/07/2026 14:32

Weatherspoons "says it all" ?

In the UK there's a lot of classism going on and there was no need for this.
Very childish and unnecessary.

Classism is part of being human. Don’t dump it on the UK. That’s UKism.

Boreded · 07/07/2026 15:47

cooooola · 07/07/2026 13:45

Drink addiction?

Was a Pepsi lol I don't even drink.

I was intimidated by the man next to me who had slammed his glass down next to me and butted in.

The place was awful and hardly any staff.

Elderly is a wrong word, they were more early 60s.

The man was swearing before hand to me about the lack of staff and could see I was first.

If he were racist why would he be trying to find common ground with you?

Paganpentacle · 07/07/2026 15:42

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 15:29

put the card away

Are you just trying to be offensive?

There may or may not have been racism. It's impossible to know.

No.
But I reckon OP is.

Grammarninja · 07/07/2026 15:42

If someone was racist, they'd definitely notice you there. I think in this case, everyone was just looking out for themselves.

Epidote · 07/07/2026 15:36

I think they were entitled piss takers.They saw a person on her own and took advantage. Regardless of race you will find many of those assholes everywhere and in every situation.

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

put the card away

Are you just trying to be offensive?

There may or may not have been racism. It's impossible to know.

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 15:27

Endorewitch · 07/07/2026 15:25

How can we judge?We werent there.
Certainly it could be. There are racists everywhere. Or it could have been rudeness and lack of manners.
Either way,just stand your ground .

Seems fair enough to me.

NoisyHiker · 07/07/2026 15:27

I'm sorry madam, it is 2026 and your race card has been declined.

Frankly ridiculous accusations of racism like this are tiresome, even to us other 'ethnic' people.

I have had people push in front of me in bars and restaurants, in a number of different countries. I never assumed it was racism, I assumed those people were twats.

Endorewitch · 07/07/2026 15:25

How can we judge?We werent there.
Certainly it could be. There are racists everywhere. Or it could have been rudeness and lack of manners.
Either way,just stand your ground .

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 15:23

Tryanalogue · 07/07/2026 13:30

What really needs to be addressed here is your drink addiction.

Drink addiction?

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 15:22

Paganpentacle · 07/07/2026 13:28

Don't think it was mate.

This has ceased to be edgy or clever - if it ever was.

MaCheCazzo · 07/07/2026 15:20

Are you shaking and fumming OP? Have a drink.

🙄

Jackiepumpkinhead · 07/07/2026 15:17

No, HTH.

Dilemma999 · 07/07/2026 15:16

I think it’s just a pub thing. I’m quite small and always get overlooked at the bar but , now that I’m older, have no qualms about loudly saying ‘I’m next’.

Jellylasagnafortwo · 07/07/2026 15:09

Impossible to give an opinion as we weren’t there. If you feel it was due to the colour of your skin then sadly maybe it was.

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