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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this racism?

434 replies

cooooola · 07/07/2026 13:13

Basically I was at the pub in the pub and nobody was behind the bar.

I was first in line.

An elderly couple come and and then another man who slams his glass down.

When the bar lady asks "who is first"? I replied me.

The elderly couple say "we have been waiting ages".

And the man next says "I didn't see her".

I felt this was due to me being mixed race.
I felt quite intimidated.

I only popped in for a drink whilst OH has the kids.

I feel any shaken up as the only ethnic person in the place.
AIBU

OP posts:
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6
Naunet · 07/07/2026 17:17

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 17:14

So you say. I disagree.

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You think we're a very racist country? Which countries are so much better than the UK and other Western European countries then?

Original poster
cooooola · 07/07/2026 17:16

No I was there first. End of.
I even asked the bartender to look at the CCTV.

OP posts:
BatchCookBabe · 07/07/2026 17:16

cooooola · 07/07/2026 16:57

No the older couple were moaning to be about the terrible service.

When the bartender finally arrived and asked "who was first?" the older couple said "We have been waiting ages".

I didn't back down and got served first and stared them and the man out to show I wasn't being intimidated

You 'stared them out.' Honestly, this is how I hear 14 year olds speaking.

You were the problem here @cooooola not them.

Stop looking for a reason to be offended. They did nothing wrong.

BatchCookBabe · 07/07/2026 17:14

He was there first, he wanted serving first.

End of.

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 17:14

Naunet · 07/07/2026 17:04

Don't be ridiculous, we live in one of the most inclusive, none racist countries in the world.

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So you say. I disagree.

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 17:12

Gorse · 07/07/2026 16:37

The only victim mentality so far in this thread was in the OP.

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Opinions may vary.

greenspaces03 · 07/07/2026 17:10

Even if it was, don’t take it personally

milveycrohn · 07/07/2026 17:08

It happens to us all the time.
My DH and I are both white british, but if DH is at the bar, the whole world will get served first. It's so infuriating.
If I am there at the bar with him, I'll say something, for the simple reason is that it gets so infuriating for others to get served first.
In our case, it could be Ageist (we're both retired), except it's happened all the time we've been together. I've concluded it's something about DH; maybe an unassuming attitude etc

Naunet · 07/07/2026 17:04

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 16:03

It's not going away because racism is now normalised.

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Don't be ridiculous, we live in one of the most inclusive, none racist countries in the world.

Allisnotlost1 · 07/07/2026 17:03

DameOfThrones · 07/07/2026 17:01

It's a colloquialism.

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But then it would be really common in speech but not in writing?

DameOfThrones · 07/07/2026 17:01

Allisnotlost1 · 07/07/2026 16:59

Off topic but why do people use this phrasing? ‘Wanting served first’ why not wanting to be served first’? Is it a dialect thing, or generational? I’ve never encountered it in real life but it’s really common on boards like this.

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It's a colloquialism.

BettyJoanPerske · 07/07/2026 17:01

Slowdownyouredoingfine · 07/07/2026 13:50

No I don’t think it was racist, sounds like the bar stuff took the piss, they were irritated and just wanted to be served.

Usually polite to let elderly people go first anyway, but early 60s is not elderly 🤣

Why would you 'let elderly go first'? First come first served. It's not like seats on public transport.

Allisnotlost1 · 07/07/2026 16:59

intrepidpanda · 07/07/2026 13:21

No. It's someone wanting served first.

Off topic but why do people use this phrasing? ‘Wanting served first’ why not wanting to be served first’? Is it a dialect thing, or generational? I’ve never encountered it in real life but it’s really common on boards like this.

DameOfThrones · 07/07/2026 16:59

cooooola · 07/07/2026 16:57

No the older couple were moaning to be about the terrible service.

When the bartender finally arrived and asked "who was first?" the older couple said "We have been waiting ages".

I didn't back down and got served first and stared them and the man out to show I wasn't being intimidated

Have you forgotten you said this earlier?

"The man was swearing before hand to me about the lack of staff and could see I was first."

Original poster
cooooola · 07/07/2026 16:57

No the older couple were moaning to be about the terrible service.

When the bartender finally arrived and asked "who was first?" the older couple said "We have been waiting ages".

I didn't back down and got served first and stared them and the man out to show I wasn't being intimidated

OP posts:
DameOfThrones · 07/07/2026 16:55

cooooola · 07/07/2026 15:03

The bar was empty as they were evidently short staffed.

I was first, the couple came followed by another man.

When the bar staff eventually came to the bar to serve us she asked "who was first then?".

I replied me.

Before hand the older couple were talking to me about the rubbish service and complaining to me about it.

So all 3 of these people complained to you before the bartender arrived?

BuntyBeaufort · 07/07/2026 16:51

More likely to be because you were a woman standing on her own. I couldn’t be whiter am passed over while waiting to be served in pubs, shops etc all the time.

Gorse · 07/07/2026 16:37

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 16:10

I'm not saying there was racism in this case. It's impossible to tell. However the very suggestion that it might be a factor was bound to get frothing and victim mentality in some of the replies.

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The only victim mentality so far in this thread was in the OP.

takeabreack · 07/07/2026 16:31

Could be because you're a woman, could be because you're on your own, could be because you're not white or could be because they're rude and entitled people.

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 16:10

Paganpentacle · 07/07/2026 16:07

Its the response of people who are sick of literally everything being weaponised and called racism.
Don't get your own way? Racism.
Someone looked at you wrong? Racism.
Someone else in a bad mood? Racism.
Its fucking tedious.

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I'm not saying there was racism in this case. It's impossible to tell. However the very suggestion that it might be a factor was bound to get frothing and victim mentality in some of the replies.

Paganpentacle · 07/07/2026 16:08

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 16:06

Unsurprisingly.

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Well we know how that ends dont we?
Even when its an outright lie.

Paganpentacle · 07/07/2026 16:07

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 16:05

It's the lazy response that is invariably used by people who know that expressions of racism are now normalised.

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Its the response of people who are sick of literally everything being weaponised and called racism.
Don't get your own way? Racism.
Someone looked at you wrong? Racism.
Someone else in a bad mood? Racism.
Its fucking tedious.

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 16:06

Paganpentacle · 07/07/2026 16:05

And so has accusing people of it ...

Edited
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Unsurprisingly.

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 16:05

Paganpentacle · 07/07/2026 16:02

Wasn't meant to be.
Its now the stock response to the ever increasing bullshit calls of racism.

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It's the lazy response that is invariably used by people who know that expressions of racism are now normalised.

BlueFahrenheit · 07/07/2026 16:05

cooooola · 07/07/2026 13:13

Basically I was at the pub in the pub and nobody was behind the bar.

I was first in line.

An elderly couple come and and then another man who slams his glass down.

When the bar lady asks "who is first"? I replied me.

The elderly couple say "we have been waiting ages".

And the man next says "I didn't see her".

I felt this was due to me being mixed race.
I felt quite intimidated.

I only popped in for a drink whilst OH has the kids.

I feel any shaken up as the only ethnic person in the place.
AIBU

Shaken by what .....?

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