To call off girl’s holiday on the day?

Mute her messages and get on with your morning.

I'd message saying "My boss has gone mad because I've had so many messages and wants me to work later to make up the time. I'll meet you at the airport - I will be getting there at X pm." Then switch your phone off.

I get it but just mute her messages and enjoy your holiday. Maybe she won't turn up! Make sure you have headphones so you can ignore her on holiday if possible.

Over 100 messages already this morning isn't just a bit of anxiety, it is hysteria. It is not in any way reasonable or acceptable, no matter how important you think you and your anxiety are. Fuck that.

Yeah, you’re a mean girl.

I’ve travelled solo for work a lot but I still get anxious around airports and especially going through security etc to airside. I cope by getting there early, going through without hurrying and as calmly as I can. Then I find a coffee, a bottle of water and a quiet corner to settle down and read my book until the flight is called.
May sound ridiculous to some but it’s the best strategy I have found for me and means I get to the flight calm and chilled 🙂

And OP is apparently one of them! I love how the 'no drama' people are often the biggest drama queens themselves.

She started the thread BEFORE starting work… she starts work at 930 (it’s in her posts).

Sorry but I think you both might have a tendency to overreact!

F

She’s trying to work…while simultaneously moaning about her friend on MN. Mmhm.

You sound like quite an intolerant travel companion. Ignore all her flight anxiety, you've said you'll be there at X time and no earlier, that's fine. Mute her this morning and see her there. This really isn't a reason to cancel

Sorry but you are the one being unreasonable here. Cancelling on the day is so dramatic and unnecessary.

I’m pretty chill about travelling and don’t like to be at the airport unnecessarily early so I understand your point, but just tell her that. You don’t need to go at the same time, just meet her there.

There's probably stuff that makes you anxious or nervous that she would be fine with (maybe she's really patient towards people with irrational fears?).

Tbh I'm dreadfully bad about arriving places on time and even I don't think you will be at the airport at 1 o'clock if you finish work at 12, have 45 minutes driving and a shower. I realise you don't need to be there at 1.

Not sure why @whereismyhisband is getting a hard time - she is trying to work. She had arranged a meet time and has had 100 blooming texts already?

I too would be tempted to cancel as this may only be the tip of the iceberg in terms of this friend’s behaviour over the next week, but you have both paid your money and it may turn out okay once you are there.

I’d text that phone is going off now as you have to work or you will lose your job. You will see her at X time. And then block/mute her if necessary until you need to leave so that you can actually use your phone but without her interruptions.

You both sounds like huge overreactors to be honest. My mum had a friend like this and she just calmly stuck to her guns whenever her friend started to spiral about airport timings etc, I think it was because the friend was solely relying on my mum to get them there and felt out of control which didn't help. My mum stopped travelling with her in the end though as it stopped being enjoyable.

Just message her once (nicely!) to say she's free to make her own way there if she wants to go that early, but if not you'll meet/pick up/whatever at the time you originally said.

Then go off to work and don't think any more of it.

I wouldn't call It off but I would be quite direct with her. I would message saying that you are sorry she is suffering with travel anxiety, but you travel regularly and you are 100% certain everything will be fine. Just relax and let me take the lead, or you are welcome to meet me there.

Please can you calm down with the messaging as I have a lot to do at work before I leave and I need to focus so I do not finish late.

Then finish kindly with a looking forward to this cant wait to see you later.

In fairness she would be doing my head in, but I would just kill it with kindness, she might just calm down a bit if she feels heard.

I had a friend pull out from a holiday just three days beforehand and it was rough. It was only a UK holiday but I had everything arranged around it including care for the cat and the fact we were taking the dog with us meant someone would have to be with me as I couldn't have gone on my own and left him in the car or in the accommodation as they don't allow dogs on their own in holiday rentals. Fortunately my sister was taking annual leave at the same time otherwise I would have had to just cancelled it.

She's making her anxiety your responsibility to manage

Exactly. It's something she needs to recognise and manage herself. Nobody can do that for her.

Did you not know anything about this woman before you committed to a holiday with her? It's no good saying "she's an adult". That's not the point. You're friends with her for a reason.
She'll probably relax once you're on the plane. Don't ditch her.

I have full sympathy for those who are anxious. I get anxious about things too - everyone does! But I don't blow up my friends phones when they need to get to work.

Also, if you thought it was a good plan in the weeks leading up, but on the day of travel it no longer seems a good plan, then that is a surefire way to know it is your anxiety making you catastrophize.

The only way I have ever overcome my anxiety is to grit my teeth and get through it. Friend needs to take a step back, decide whether she wants to get herself to the airport early for her own peace of mind and stop badgering a friend who doesn't want to lose a half days wage.

3 hours early is objectively plenty of time for a long haul flight unless there is major airport disruption. I doubt they'd even let you through security 6 hours early. But it is down to the friend to sort this out herself, instead of dumping her anxiety on her friend.

My SIL is very anxious in the run up to things but lovely once they start. Tell her youee in meetings. Meet her at the airport.Her anxiety may well spiral the more you push back so do both of you a favour and disengage with a perfectly reasonable excuse of meetings and have a lovely time later.

Also using the word ‘hysteria’ to describe anxiety makes you sound like a twat.

So far, I'm with you OP. Reassurance doesn't help someone struggling in the way that she does. Sending 100 texts isn't OK. She's making her anxiety your responsibility to manage, and in the long run this won't help her and it will ruin the friendship.

I like a pp's idea of meeting at the gate. In your shoes, I would message her to say you've got a busy day and will next be in contact with her once you've got to the gate.

You sound incredibly unsympathetic and not very nice to be honest. If it’s annoying you so much just turn your phone off or tell her you’re busy.
My mum was like this and yes it’s a bit grating but travel anxiety is a very real thing for some people. Don’t dismiss it even if you can’t understand it.
Cancelling the holiday is a ridiculous overreaction.