To call off girl’s holiday on the day?

She’s not being nasty at all - she’s exasperated, and I completely understand why. I am very anxious when it comes to being late for things, but that isn’t anyone else’s responsibility to manage for me, so I take the appropriate steps to make sure my anxiety isn’t causing unnecessary stress for others.

The OP’s friend is a grown woman and she’s responsible for herself. If simply going to the airport causes her this much anxiety and discomfort then maybe she shouldn’t be travelling at all. It’s not fair to just throw her hands up and say “this is just the way I am, deal with it.”

I find it bizarre that you know her well enough to go on a holiday together but she has never once displayed any signs of anxiety that’s annoyed you before?

When she said she was anxious about travelling, were you not incredibly surprised (as she isn’t like this usually) and ask for more detail?

This.

Of course you’re being unreasonable. Cancel an expensive pre planned holiday with one friend because they’re texting you a lot?

What a friend.

You just can’t be bothered. That’s so lazy she’s probably better off without a friend who would treat her feelings, time and money like that.

For goodness sake just be kind to her. So you travel 6-8 times a year as a solo traveller, help her then. Reassure her. Don’t be a dick about it. So many people are struggling and can’t get away so focus on the fact you have a lovely holiday to look forward to. And if you have so much to do this morning why are you wasting time on MN. Crack on with what you have to do and be nice to your friend!

Telling someone with acute anxiety to calm down is like telling a young boy who's crying to man up. Unnecessarily cruel, in other words.

There are so many 'what ifs' that we can't even name them all !

As long as you/she allows time for traffic, queues, parking, and all of that, it is fine. As I said before my friend allows no time, I allow plenty and we meet in the middle.

You should cancel – for her sake. I would hate to be friends with someone so lacking in empathy. She's clearly in the midst of a full-blown anxiety attack and while I do appreciate how annoying it is to receive so many texts, you starting a thread on MN with many identifying details just to shame her is awful.

I actually don’t have any friends who treat me with such peremptory disrespect. All of my friends with problems/ health concerns/ special circumstances take responsibility for themselves rather than dump them on me with an expectation that I will be fine handling them. As a result, I’m very accommodating and take on more than my “fair share” to help them as best I can. I wouldn’t be friends with anyone who expected me to solve their problems for them at my own expense.

"Hi Gill, I am blocking your number for the day as I have too much to do and I am not your anxiety support dog. We will be fine, please calm down"

I think it's cutting it a bit tight going into work in the morning. She probably is thinking what if the traffic's bad, what if you're delayed at work.

Well, your gut is wrong. She clearly has a full-blown anxiety disorder and the fact you haven't grasped the severity of it is odd. I imagine every aspect of your holiday will be like this. It's not as if she is going to be able - having a severe anxiety disorder, whether it's GAD, or a flying phobia, or a combo - to just "snap out of it." She's not doing it to annoy, and you are probably the worst person for her to travel with, given you seem to lack patience, empathy, and imagination.

this Surely?! I mean unless you don’t want to be her friend at all which is what would happen if you just cancelled the whole thing

It's literally simply a text back saying "Hey Mary, we planned this with plenty of time to get through the airport. However if you would feel better then maybe yiu could make your way to the airport and I'll meet you there when I'm finished work at 12."

Its not a big deal but cancelling a holiday because your friend is anxious is just a horrible thing to do.

I assume there's a group chat? Tell her you can't talk, you're working, pass her on to that (message the group to say Edna has a few concerns, you're working, can anyone help) and see if it continues when it's being inflicted on everyone at once.

ETA: Sorry, ignore. I forgot it was just you two.

I have just read more about how frequently she’s messaging you. I have more sympathy for you now. Text to say that you have a lot to do and you have meetings but you know you’ll get there with no problem. You’ll see her as arranged but you can’t answer any more texts until you finish work.

What if we lose our passports... is pathetic.

What if I break my leg coming out of my house
What if the taxi driver doesn't know where the airport is
What if the conveyor belt in security doesn't work and my backpack gets stuck

Honestly... this is ridiculous

I'd honestly cancel. And I say that as an anxious person and anxious traveller. The difference is that I know I'm unreasonable and I deal with it my fucking self rather than feeling entitled to ruin someone else's holiday. I would have ZERO time and empathy for someone sobbing down the phone at me about their anxious delusions.

So are you cancelling then OP? Or was it just hyperbole?

Why does she even want to go on holiday with YOU?

you appear just as dramatic as she is, and very unpleasant.
The general advice is correct: tell her YOU are going at x time, she's free to go earlier.

Then mute her for the morning, and problem solved. You are wasting more time complaining about her on here that it would have been going to the airport earlier and having a drink there 😂

Surprised your anxious friend isn’t more worried about the salmonella and shigella outbreaks there tbh

You sound very impatient, you’re familiar with the airport, she isn’t.
It’s likely that she will get on your nerves while you’re travelling and she will probably faff around a bit at the airport because she won’t know what to do.
Just tell her that you’re in meetings and will meet her as arranged after you finish work.
She will probably be fine when you arrive but make sure that you do some things independently.
Cancelling would be a massive overreaction, practice a bit of patience.

I’m an anxious traveller. It can be quite debilitating. My partner, family and friends are understanding and gently encourage and help me. This is because they’re nice people who care about me.
OP feel glad that you don’t suffer from anxiety. It’s horrible. I bet your friend isn’t enjoying her morning either.
Also you can go from being a generally confident to an anxious person so hope it doesn’t happen to you.
You sound really cold and aren’t being a good friend.