Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can’t get outdoor toys because of DHs dream garden 🙄

62 replies

LeaveTheSweetsAlone · 06/07/2026 22:23

Sort of lighthearted?

DH has been planning his dream garden for 5 years now - since we bought this house.

Now this garden hasn’t happened because of funds - it would need levelling etc, he wants to do patio and a pergola, it’s a nice to have and not a necessity. Also we both work FT and honestly NEVER sit in the garden. It’s also super hot in this weather, no shade whatsoever so it’s not even pleasant to do the odd BBQ on a Sunday.

But guess who does use it? DC! Of course they do, it’s way more entertaining than the house. Weekends, after school, love it.

So I said to DH let’s get a little play house in there, maybe a slide, one of those proper swings. They have a trampoline but that’s now turned to shit after a few years.

He is ADAMANT we cannot put garden toys in there because the “wood is just going to rot” and “it’s just another thing to get rid of when he does the garden up nice”. THE SAME GARDEN HES BEEN DOING UP FOR FIVE YEARS NOW. As it stands it’s just a patch of grass with some pebbles. DCs love the weeds though so it’s ok.

So AIBU to put my foot down, get a parasol and some stuff for them to enjoy or respect that it’s the only space that’s ‘his’ to decide on (I’ve furnished and designed everything else and the trade off was garden was his 😂)?

Or in true MN fashion, just LTB 😂

OP posts:
longtompot · 06/07/2026 22:56

I think gardens are for everyone who lives in the house. If they are big enough then you can have separate areas for adults & kids, but not everyone has this and so there needs to be a compromise.
They also evolve over the years, so for a bit they will be just a space you as a couple use, then kids come along and gradually take over the garden with their toys, and then they grow up & usually leave & it's your space again.
Your kids will only be kids for such a short time. Get the play equipment, let them enjoy the garden.
My dad used part of our old metal climbing frame as an arch and has grown honeysuckle over it so the equipment needn't be wasted after they have finished using it for it's intended purpose

99bottlesofkombucha · 06/07/2026 22:54

Our trampoline and basketball hoop and other garden things get used every day. I’d take them over dh!

Topseyt123 · 06/07/2026 22:52

He can plan his precious garden around the kids a fair bit, and as they grow and their requirements and interests change it can be replanned or adapted.

He sounds rather like my DH used to be - always planning all of these major projects without the time or inclination to get on and complete them for years. Or even start them at all in most cases.

My DH didn't try to stop the kids having outdoor toys though. However, he did once try to tell our then preschooler DD1 that she couldn't ride her tricycle on the patio that he and his Dad had recently laid because her tricycle would wear the new flagstones out! 🤣🤣 He didn't live that one down for a long time and his own Dad (my lovely FIL) couldn't believe what he had just heard him say. 🤣 Fortunately DH quickly accepted how ridiculous and laughable it was.

MotherOfCrocodiles · 06/07/2026 22:39

Ignore him he is being selfish

the metal climbing frames and swings from TP are not too expensive and can be moved around. We had them as kids and loved them. I went for big wooden ones for my own kids but they are actually not as good.

Original poster
LeaveTheSweetsAlone · 06/07/2026 22:37

FunnyOrca · 06/07/2026 22:32

Maybe he could start saving for the kids turning 18 and him doing a big reno on the garden? Maybe a date needs set on it or a target saving amount. Until then, the garden belongs to dc. Anything you get you can pass on or as you have already done focus on getting things second hand.

Tbh, it’s not that the money isn’t there really. We could do it. It’s just not a priority and so the savings aren’t being used for it.

OP posts:
Newsenmum · 06/07/2026 22:37

This feels really mean. Surely the garden is for the kids? You chose to have kids so at least part of it should be designed for them!

Original poster
LeaveTheSweetsAlone · 06/07/2026 22:36

Easilyforgotten · 06/07/2026 22:32

Get the things you want (the kids are only little for a short time) cover with a tarpaulin over winter, tell him you'll post them on Facebook as soon as he's ready to start the garden (actually physically start, not thinking about it), job done 😃!

This is what I want to do!! I want them to enjoy the garden. Surely it’s better than it just existing! Also - there’s only so many ‘pebble coffees’ I can be given before I go crazy 😂

OP posts:
MistakenFlutterby · 06/07/2026 22:32

We bought a wooden play house for our DC when they were toddlers. They are now at uni and the playhouse is still standing and not in the least rotted.

As he hasn’t done anything with the garden yet he can redesign to fit in swings/playhouse/climbing frame or whatever.

Easilyforgotten · 06/07/2026 22:32

Get the things you want (the kids are only little for a short time) cover with a tarpaulin over winter, tell him you'll post them on Facebook as soon as he's ready to start the garden (actually physically start, not thinking about it), job done 😃!

FunnyOrca · 06/07/2026 22:32

Maybe he could start saving for the kids turning 18 and him doing a big reno on the garden? Maybe a date needs set on it or a target saving amount. Until then, the garden belongs to dc. Anything you get you can pass on or as you have already done focus on getting things second hand.

Original poster
LeaveTheSweetsAlone · 06/07/2026 22:29

@Octavia64 so I did get a small slide before and a water tray someone was giving away in the neighbourhood but as they outgrew it they got grubby in the rain (nowhere to really store these) and he got a reason to say no new stuff because it’ll all be wasted anyway 🙄 I wanted something with a bit more longevity

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 06/07/2026 22:25

Get stuff that isn’t permanent.

big swings can need concreting in.

a slide and parasol etc sound fine