To call it a day with DP as his "ex" wife books yet ANOTHER holiday on one of her custody weekends and he just sucks it up.

Zero sympathy. If you didn't want to be encumbered by his children you should have picked a child free man.

Aren’t all the dates of who has the children laid out ahead of time? IMO she needs to rearrange if the former is the case.

Pretty sad read from the kids perspective.

I think he would be far more weak if he chose a relationship with a woman over one with his children in all honesty.

Great to hear of a man who is putting his kids ahead of his dick. There aren't enough of them out there so I am sure that if you dump him, you'll soon enough find one who prioritises his dick over his kids.

Im sorry you’re upset, but respectfully, situation sounds more complex than a ‘weak’ man.

It’s very easy from the outside to say he should simply stand up to her, but if the reality is that every “no” creates more drama, conflict, guilt-tripping or stress with the children in the middle, I can see why he chooses the path of least resistance. That doesn’t necessarily mean he is weak; it may mean he is trying to keep things calm for the children and for himself. Swallowing his own feelings to prioritise his kids, sad, maybe commendable, not weak.

Problem is avoiding conflict with the ex is causing conflict with you. You need to have a discussion, perhaps agree a joint strategy to deal with the ex.

And some parents can be very spiteful, happy to hurt their kids. I know people are calling him a wet blanket, but honestly, in his shoes, I don't know what I'd do if I was worried about losing access to my kids. It's up to you what you do OP, I can understand you being upset, but with so many people behaving like this woman does this days, there's a lot of poor kids (and adults like you) stuck in these situations.

I would be ending it but wouldn’t cancel. Take a friend with you instead and just make the most of it.

Dad has to look after his kids.

Would you go away if your ex left your kids with someone they barely knew for a weekend?

Yes bottom line is he's weak I guess
yes this. How could she have possibly done this out of spite unless he told her your dates?

he could have said enjoy yourself but we are away so you will need to find a babysitter for the weekend.

I can’t understand why today when she asked he didn’t just respond with sorry, we can’t we’ve just booked a weekend away ourselves. Why on earth has he agreed?? I couldn’t cope with that OP!

Fine but he also needs some certainty about which dates he has them and which dates he doesn’t. Sitting about at someone’s whim and never being able to make plans is horrible.

To be fair, if he said no it's a bit shitty. He isn't weak like everyone keeps saying, he wants his kids and they come first. Who would say no to having their own kids? .. If you can't support him and pressure him to say no then you should be leaving. Kids first.

Good grief, surely it would have been the easiest thing in the world to say, ‘Ah sorry, Ex, we’re away to Tenerife that weekend’.

That sounds hard. I would have given up a long time ago.

It’s his kids! He is choosing to put his time with his children before his time with his girlfriend. He’s not prioritising his ex. She has just put him in a situation where he has to choose, but it’s not choosing between OP and his ex, it’s choosing between him having his kids or his kids going to a relative.

this all sounds very stressful to be honest

I personally think he wants to be a good dad and they come first clearly which is a good sign that he’s a decent person

however would I let this woman dictate to me like this? No I wouldn’t

Prioritising his dc is fair enough..
Putting his ex before you =hes a spineless twat.
Just tell him you aren't staying in a relationship with a married man any longer..and mean it.

Before who? What would coming first look like in this context?

In the relationship.

Before his kids?

Best to move on from the spineless oaf because he won't stand up to her, and anything she books that happens to clash with anything you arrange together is always going to come first. Find someone who puts you first.

Couples who are still together don't get child free time away.
I get the situation is different in that you will want to be spending time together without either of your kids there as this is a new relationship etc.
But his relationship with his kids is the most important thing to him, amd if he doesn't want to rock the boat, and is happy to spend more time with them, then why would he risk her making thing difficult in the future?
Not that you aren't important to him, but you won't ever (hopefully) be more important to him until they are well into adult hood, and perhaps not even then.

I think you can either accept this is how things will be, or get out now before it gets harder

Just saw you don't live together so yes actually I maybe would dump him if the ex stuff doesn't suit you. Depends if you see him as a long term partner or not.