Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

“You will always love the mother / father of your children”

90 replies

PuppyPicker · 06/07/2026 20:21

AIBU to say this isnt true? I’ve heard it said a lot but I don’t think it’s true. What about abusive relationships or people that had a child from casual relationships / ONS. Do you think theres truth to this statement?

OP posts:
JoyousWriter · 06/07/2026 22:11

Absolutely not true.

I haven't spoken to or seen the father of mine for 21 years. I hated him, by the end.

CampingInTheSnow · 06/07/2026 22:10

I've never heard this! My parents divorced when I was young, and nearly 40 years on they still can't bear one another 😂 I can't remember a time where they had any positive feelings towards eachother, let alone 'love'.

Frustratedsister · 06/07/2026 22:07

My daughters father has never met her
its safe to say i will never love the father of my child. What a terrible thought.

NormasArse · 06/07/2026 22:03

Sadly, I didn’t really love him at the time. I do love what he gave me though.

Original poster
PuppyPicker · 06/07/2026 22:02

CurdinHenry · 06/07/2026 21:47

Probably because you've confused it with your one

Show quote history

No I haven’t

OP posts:
Original poster
PuppyPicker · 06/07/2026 22:02

EarringsandLipstick · 06/07/2026 21:55

I have heard people say that however horribly it turned out (very horribly in my case), they can’t regret meeting the father / mother of their DC.

I mean I really wish I’d never met him. But I can’t imagine my life without my children.

could you have got mixed up with this OP?

No I have the quote in front of me as it was said to me again yesterday

OP posts:
Original poster
PuppyPicker · 06/07/2026 22:01

JHound · 06/07/2026 21:50

How is it common if nobody here except you has heard it?

Show quote history

Others have and have said so 😊 but this is one of those weird mumsnet things that everyone claims not to have heard of something I seen it on another thread.

OP posts:
Middlemarch123 · 06/07/2026 21:59

Autocorrect, “Hell no”

Middlemarch123 · 06/07/2026 21:58

He’ll no, if I could have the same lovely kids, but without him, I would. Yeah, I know that’s impossible but hope you understand what I mean. I can be civil to him (for our adult kids sake), but I don’t even like him and avoid communication with him. His true colours have become vivid during the last year, and yes he has changed since we met twenty five years ago, and not for the better. Me now and him now, I’d have run a mile. Indifferent best sums it up.

CurdinHenry · 06/07/2026 21:56

JHound · 06/07/2026 21:53

I have never heard this either and also don’t believe it is true. I have personally seen parents treat kids differently depending on how they feel about the other parent.

Including in my own extended family.

Edited
Show quote history

I don't believe it at all, I don't believe in automatic love for one's offspring in any situation. But it pops up in various places. Most recently cersei in game of thrones trying to convince Margaery to marry Joffrey.

EarringsandLipstick · 06/07/2026 21:55

I have heard people say that however horribly it turned out (very horribly in my case), they can’t regret meeting the father / mother of their DC.

I mean I really wish I’d never met him. But I can’t imagine my life without my children.

could you have got mixed up with this OP?

CaptainMyCaptain · 06/07/2026 21:53

I've never heard anyone say this. It's nonsense.

JHound · 06/07/2026 21:53

CurdinHenry · 06/07/2026 21:41

The actual saying is that you always love your children no matter how you feel about the other parent.

I have never heard this either and also don’t believe it is true. I have personally seen parents treat kids differently depending on how they feel about the other parent.

Including in my own extended family.

EarringsandLipstick · 06/07/2026 21:52

MassOfInterstellarGas · 06/07/2026 20:24

I’ve never heard anyone say this.

Same. It’s so clearly untrue (the statement) that it’s hard to believe anyone ever says it, even meaning it in a partial way.

It’s much more likely to be the opposite 🤷🏻‍♀️

Rachelshair · 06/07/2026 21:51

No, you really won't! Who on earth would think that? How bizarre. Always stuck with them in some ways yes, but love, no absolutely not.

JHound · 06/07/2026 21:50

PuppyPicker · 06/07/2026 20:26

It’s quite a common saying. I’ve heard it being said lots of times.

Show quote history

How is it common if nobody here except you has heard it?

JHound · 06/07/2026 21:49

Who possibly thinks this is true?!

firstofallimadelight · 06/07/2026 21:49

I can’t remember loving DDs dad (although I must have done) he’s like an extremely casual acquaintance now. Like someone I say hello to if i see him. (About once every 5 years)

MildlyAnnoyed · 06/07/2026 21:48

No! I can’t wait until my children are 18 & I don’t have to have contact anymore. My daughter is doing her driving test in September & I hope she passes, not least because it means I have to have less contact.

CurdinHenry · 06/07/2026 21:47

PuppyPicker · 06/07/2026 21:47

No never heard that 🤷‍♀️

Show quote history

Probably because you've confused it with your one

Original poster
PuppyPicker · 06/07/2026 21:47

CurdinHenry · 06/07/2026 21:41

The actual saying is that you always love your children no matter how you feel about the other parent.

No never heard that 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 06/07/2026 21:46

It’s on the same lines as “you’ll always love your first love”

MegMortimer · 06/07/2026 21:46

Never heard the saying and I can't stand my twat of an ex.

HardFuckingBird · 06/07/2026 21:45

I've certainly heard variants of this phrase. On MN I've seen women say that their ex should respect them as they are the mother of his children. Personally I think it's all a bit simplistic. Clearly it's best if you can coparent respectfully and amicably, but real life can be complicated and it's not always easy to respect somebody who has persistently behaved very badly towards you.

familyissues12345 · 06/07/2026 21:44

Er no!!

Perhaps if he hadn’t have been a knobhead of a father to DS, then maybe I would have liked him, but nope he couldn’t do that!

Swipe left for the next trending thread