To think this isnt normal child behaviour?

Tourettes Action FAQ https://share.google/vOdci6YB1HfO9KfNx have a look here and see if anything rings a bell.

The Coke Bottle Effect - Connective Family https://share.google/b7pQR65mA76mxPJSs this is similar to what my daughter used to do - the tips are good.

My now 26 year old DS was diagnosed with Tourette’s at the age of 7. I went to our GP and described the tics. He was referred to CAMHS and diagnosed about a year later. The exhaustion your DD is exhibiting could be from suppressing tics. My DS does suppress his around people he isn’t familiar with and it leaves him wiped out physically and mentally. Another thing to mention is that Tourette’s and ADHD are co morbid conditions. DS has both.

From a mum of a 16 year old neurodivergent child (and quite likely my younger child too) I would say speak to SENCO at school (although your daughter may mask heavily there) and then go to the GP with your concerns. I’d push for an assessment. Many of the behaviours you talk about, I recognise in my AuDHD child at that age.

I would go to see your GP and discuss your concerns. Obviously, it's hard to make a judgement based on a few snapshots but I've got 5 children and have worked in schools and I think this is outside the realm of 'normal' behaviours and I suspect there's some neurodiversity at play here. Don't struggle on alone OP, you're not a bad mum, you just need some help and support.

They really aren’t. And it’s a diagnosis not a label

Tourettes, ADHD and autism are all neurodivergent traits and can be present at the same time. The wearing the same clothes and socks to bed thing sounds like autism, I would move forward with SEN assessment as soon as you can (long waiting list so no harm in going to your GP early)

Sounds like Tourette’s. It must be really difficult but she cannot help it. It’s likely she’s trying extra hard at school and then it all comes out at home. See your GP. Good luck.

Could you record some of this concerning behavior without her knowledge and show it to some one who may suggest ways to manage it or identify if it needs more intervention ?

Look,the tics aren't going to be making her feel good. They must be exhausting. So whether they're part of normal child development, down to stress, or due to a condition like tourettes, you owe it to her to have them properly assessed.

If nothing else, you'll hopefully find better ways to manage it and once she knows why they're happening, she'll feel less stressed and worried about them.

You're not a bad mum.

Google "coke bottle effect autism"

I'm surprised that school aren't seeing any of this at all, especially the tics. Some can be quite subtle so maybe they haven't noticed. And of course they will be more frequent when she is tired but from working in schools, tics are normally apparent.

It doesn't sound like usual behaviour at all.

On the NHS it says 1 in 5 children develop tics and they usually go away on their own so I wouldn't be too concerned about them unless they last a long time. (NHS says over a year). I know a couple of people's kids who had differnet tics and they both grew out of them. I find drawing attention to it makes it worse, I just ignore them when he does it. He can go weeks with nothing and then one starts up, it's like a compulsion. It's the accumulated behaviour that I would be more concerned about like the hitting you. If you are concerned go to the gp as they are there to help.

Gosh, yes, because that's the priority here... 🙄

Just as PP have said, your daughter needs to see the GP and they will refer her to the appropriate services. Also speak to her school.

Request an assessment, if she's behaving "normally" then they will confirm that, if not then you don't delay getting the help & support you both need.

From the OP...

"Its the same with the impulsive rude word calling out. She says she doesn't even realise when she says it and doesn't know why. What started off as me thinking she was just coping (sic) rude words she learnt at school from the other kids (they all do toilet humour there)

Judging from the remarks, most do not think this behaviour is normal OP.
Possible reasons as to why have differed. But not normal no.
Do go to the GP.

I agree it sounds like she needs an assessment for tourettes and possibly neurodivergence too.

Have you looked up pathological demand avoidance? There's lots of info out there about parenting a child with PDA traits that you might find helpful (note- I'm not saying she has PDA, just that the techniques might help).

Children do go through phases of bad behaviour I think but some of this does sound concerning . Some of the responses on this thread are just wild . There is no evidence from your post that she is spoiled or you have done anything wrong. It sounds like you are worried so best thing is to talk to the gp about all your concerns and see what they say. They might refer to a paediatrician.

I knew someone who as a child shocked their parents as he was considered disruptive at school. But was as good as gold at home. They were fairly strict at home. And school was easier going.

I wonder if school is comparatively strict and you are easy going ? Nobody should be hiding from their child.

I would certainly speak to the GP though.