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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that NT children miss out in school inclusion policies.

288 replies

empee47 · 06/07/2026 16:45

To think that inclusion policies in primary schools are almost never geared to helping academic, NT children get the best out of their education? They’re almost always designed to help the underdog - not denying this is necessary - but those at the top end of the spectrum don’t get the chance to shine as bright as they might otherwise do.

OP posts:
Jumbaree · 07/07/2026 12:38

DontBuyAnotherBook · 07/07/2026 12:29

Perhaps those "thugs" are ASD children with sensory overload hence the hitting? Funny how your sense of inclusion only goes for the ones like your child.

Guilty! I don’t think children whose coping mechanism in mainstream school involves continually punching classmates ought to be ‘included’ in mainstream. So sue me!

Jumbaree · 07/07/2026 12:36

5128gap · 07/07/2026 12:02

The primary purpose of state funded education is not to help a minority shine. Its to give all children at least the basics they need to navigate and be useful members of society. That's what we pay our taxes for.
Within this, children who are particularly gifted academically will achieve this baseline with ease, children with additional challenges will struggle, so it makes sense to put linited resources where they're needed.
As parents there's plenty that can be done to help academically able children push through the ceiling of the state offer.

This isn’t the case. The school’s function is set out in the education act. I cannot find the clause just now but schools need to meet the needs of every child, which includes gifted and talented children, who’s needs aren’t ’perform to average’.

DontBuyAnotherBook · 07/07/2026 12:33

Ablondiebutagoody · 07/07/2026 10:51

When you work in a school all you hear is SEN, SEN, SEN. It's pretty much all that matters and takes up 80 odd percent of time and resources for 20 something percent of the children. It's nuts and I think explains why so many parents want their children classed as SEN. It's the only way for their child to be seen.

My child has SEN and probably needs a 1-1. Highly suspect he won't have anyone when he starts school until they realise the level of disruption caused means they will have no choice.

DontBuyAnotherBook · 07/07/2026 12:31

Anyway another abeist thread about autistic kids. Why do you need inclusive policies if you don't have a ND child? Not that they are inclusive anyway.

DontBuyAnotherBook · 07/07/2026 12:29

Jumbaree · 06/07/2026 17:12

As the head of my child’s school said when I complained my child hadn’t learned anything for some time, he has to concentrate resources at the weakest children. Which is complete BS. I could have pointed out why what he had said had flew in the face of the education act, but it all seemed a bit beyond him.

We removed our ASD child from the school as they were learning nothing other than how to be a human punchbag and put them in private where they were stretched all the way.

Ironically the people ‘inclusion’ harms most is the high achieving ASD children who simply need a calm classroom atmosphere where they are going to be fully stretched and protected from violent thugs who ought to be educated elsewhere, but aren’t because ‘inclusion’.

Perhaps those "thugs" are ASD children with sensory overload hence the hitting? Funny how your sense of inclusion only goes for the ones like your child.

Yogafiend · 07/07/2026 12:23

C0dename · 07/07/2026 06:22

Your children don’t speak for everybody in your area and I’d be surprised if the primary curriculum( which is dry) doesn’t stretch your children. The expectations and content are very high. Maybe look at some of the year 6 SATS papers.

Of course my children don’t speak for everyone in my area. I was giving my experience with state primary school in England. I didn’t say all children were bored. I said my 2 eldest were. But I’m not arrogant enough to think that there aren’t other children that are academically very clever. My children aren’t unique in that sense. My eldest went into applying for grammar school and was successful. I don’t need to look at year 6 sats as my eldest 2 kids are now in secondary school. The contents of the SATS are high is relative to the child. My eldest is going into year 9 next year has been selected to do advanced program for maths, English and science where he will do year 9 and 10 curriculum in one year. It might be surprising but it happens. Out of my 3 kids is the most focused and academic and as I said before he wasn’t pushed enough and was bored - not because the teachers didn’t care but because they had no capacity. Classes are 30 kids. How can teachers be able to help those who need more support and push those who don’t?

Conversely, my best friend has a child with SEN and they weren’t the greatest either.

TeenToTwenties · 07/07/2026 12:05

Thechaseison71 · 07/07/2026 12:03

But it shouldn't lump STATE grammar and private together. I said about STATE schools

Why not? Selective v non selective.

Thechaseison71 · 07/07/2026 12:03

TeenToTwenties · 07/07/2026 11:58

Did you not read it carefully. It had private&grammar together and compared with comprehensives.

But it shouldn't lump STATE grammar and private together. I said about STATE schools

5128gap · 07/07/2026 12:02

The primary purpose of state funded education is not to help a minority shine. Its to give all children at least the basics they need to navigate and be useful members of society. That's what we pay our taxes for.
Within this, children who are particularly gifted academically will achieve this baseline with ease, children with additional challenges will struggle, so it makes sense to put linited resources where they're needed.
As parents there's plenty that can be done to help academically able children push through the ceiling of the state offer.

TeenToTwenties · 07/07/2026 11:58

Thechaseison71 · 07/07/2026 11:54

Wonder how many of the good state kids were from grammar school where they won't put up with the disruption

Did you not read it carefully. It had private&grammar together and compared with comprehensives.

Thechaseison71 · 07/07/2026 11:54

ElizaMulvil · 07/07/2026 08:54

And mine.
Sutton Trust and UCL research tells us that there is very little ( half a grade at most) difference in A level grades achieved by state Comprehensive schools' students and private/grammars' students of similar ability.

In fact comprehensive schools not only do much better for children of lower ability than Secondary Moderns they also produce students who do better than private at University and at post graduate level.

Of course private schools do not have to meet the qualification levels for teachers that state schools have eg qualified teacher status. Indeed many teachers have been leaving private schools as the latter have been exiting the Teachers' Pensions scheme ( to save money).

Wonder how many of the good state kids were from grammar school where they won't put up with the disruption

Thechaseison71 · 07/07/2026 11:47

LathkillDale · 06/07/2026 23:56

I have two DCs, who went to the local comprehensive. Both got all As and A*s in their GCSEs, and AAB at A level to get into the RG university course of their choice. They both got firsts. DS didn’t want to go to Oxbridge and I don’t think DD2 could have coped with the pressure.

Apart from the fact, they could both have got AAA at A level, I don’t know how they could have shone any brighter? DS is earning 6 figures in a profession, where nobody cares about your A level or degree results - all anyone cares about is that DS passed the professional exams.

However, especially with DD2, I got sick of the pushing by teachers, who never cared about DD2’s well being, except one. All I heard from teachers from Year 10 onwards, which was in fact directed at DD2

”All you have to do to get an A/A* is….”

Even when I asked them to leave DD2 alone, because as a high achieving perfectionist girl, she put enough pressure on herself, and she certainly didn’t need any more - with an early history of an eating disorder already. Did they take any notice - no, they didn’t. As a ND girl, who had no support from the school, she was burnt out by the end of secondary education.

I simply don’t recognise what OP is talking about, in the comprehensives round here, nor our own secondary education at grammar schools in the 70s. Boys got the cane at my school, so disruption never lasted long in classrooms.

Depends on the school is imagine. A nice comprehensive maybe, sink school not so much pushing and more crowd vobtrol

TempestTost · 07/07/2026 11:03

BuckChuckets · 07/07/2026 10:18

But if your child is struggling, I'd suggest they're not at the top end of the academic spectrum/range. Unfortunately there are parents who can't accept that their children aren't that academically bright, even though they probably excel in other areas, and want to blame the school, the teachers, other children etc.

Honestly this is just the sort of dumb statement we see.

Children can struggle in school even when significantly gifted.

Any child, even a very academically able one, will struggle in a chaotic class, or one where the material is not being taught well, or where they are being left to teach it to themselves, or where the class is being regularly disrupted.

Kids can also become just massively bored and distanced from education, or develop poor work habits, because they are not given the opportunity to actually need to work or study regularly as the material is low level or the marks are inflated.

It's quite remarkable what happens when you take children out of classrooms like that and put them into one where it is calm, where the teacher can pay attention to the whole class, and where they are given work that is engaging and requires their engagement. Most people can't actually afford to go private though.

TempestTost · 07/07/2026 10:54

LathkillDale · 07/07/2026 07:38

How can schools be held accountable by parents of children, who have SEN, but no EHC plan and in reality get no SEN support?

Parents can a formal complaint to the governors, for not using their best endeavours; and the governors can effectively ignore them. Then what can parents do really? Complaints to the Local Government Ombudsman take a long time, and the remedies go nowhere to make up for the child’s loss of education for years.

A claim of disability discrimination to the SEND tribunal achieves nothing. Apparently hearing dates now are being given for the end of next year. It’s very stressful for the parents and even if they win, at best, they’ll get an apology from the school; but the relationship with the school will have been destroyed. The parents will have to find a new school, with no guarantee, it will be any better.

This is why parents apply for EHC plan needs assessments; but LAs’ default position is to refuse the first time. Parents have to appeal to the SEN tribunal, which as above will take 18 months. Assuming the parents win, the EHC plan won’t be worth the paper it’s written on, when it’s issued. The parents will have to appeal to the tribunal again over the needs and provisions, or rather the lack of them in the EHC plan - which will take the parents another 18 months, stress and money on independent professional reports.

LAs flout SEN law every day on a massive scale, and the government does nothing to police them, because it comes down to lack of funding by the government. It’s left to individual parents to police them. Few parents (probably less than 10%) have the wherewithal, the stamina and money to fight for three years to get their children with SEN what they need in school - which is what LAs rely on to save money! Meanwhile, the children are left to struggle for another three years in school, on top of what has already been wasted, until the parents realise their child is having difficulty.

So the idea, children with SEN have legal rights and accountability in schools, which gives them an advantage over gifted and talented children is an empty promise at best, probably for 90% of them. It’s like the emperor’s new clothes!

I think you've missed my point. I did say that I was not saying the situation was working particularly for kids with SEND.

I am saying schools feel a kind of obligation to at least attempt to address those issues - even if in practice it's totally ineffective - in a way they simply don't for other kids.

You can see it in the way you have kids in classes being negatively impacted by a child who is disruptive, even causing evacuation of the classroom multiple times a day. How is it acceptable that those kids are losing out on their education? Because the school has to provide a place for the disruptive child more than they have to provide a safe space, much less an education for all the others.

And it's been said straight out by multiple people on this thread alone that gifted children should get no consideration in school, there is no obligation to meet their educational needs. Parents are explicitly being told they should pay for private school (plus VAT) for those children.

It may not be working well for anyone but there has been a hierarchy created rather than saying the educational needs of all children need to be met.

Ablondiebutagoody · 07/07/2026 10:51

When you work in a school all you hear is SEN, SEN, SEN. It's pretty much all that matters and takes up 80 odd percent of time and resources for 20 something percent of the children. It's nuts and I think explains why so many parents want their children classed as SEN. It's the only way for their child to be seen.

BuckChuckets · 07/07/2026 10:18

empee47 · 06/07/2026 21:47

You can use the word spectrum in many contexts, not just when it refers to autism. Substitute it for range and you may understand better.

But if your child is struggling, I'd suggest they're not at the top end of the academic spectrum/range. Unfortunately there are parents who can't accept that their children aren't that academically bright, even though they probably excel in other areas, and want to blame the school, the teachers, other children etc.

ElizaMulvil · 07/07/2026 08:54

PoppyseedPurple · 06/07/2026 18:39

My DC went to a state primary, state comprehensive school, state sixth form and achieved the highest possible grades. There would have been no advantage in paying for private schools or tutors.

And mine.
Sutton Trust and UCL research tells us that there is very little ( half a grade at most) difference in A level grades achieved by state Comprehensive schools' students and private/grammars' students of similar ability.

In fact comprehensive schools not only do much better for children of lower ability than Secondary Moderns they also produce students who do better than private at University and at post graduate level.

Of course private schools do not have to meet the qualification levels for teachers that state schools have eg qualified teacher status. Indeed many teachers have been leaving private schools as the latter have been exiting the Teachers' Pensions scheme ( to save money).

Jumbaree · 07/07/2026 08:43

C0dename · 07/07/2026 08:26

You could say that about all abilities. The reality is it’s TAs doing interventions not teachers.

I didn’t mention abilities at all though did I? Any child for whatever reason takes up too much of a teachers time then they’re in the wrong place.

C0dename · 07/07/2026 08:26

Jumbaree · 07/07/2026 07:44

If in a class of 30 there is any child that needs more than say 20% of a teachers time they shouldn’t be there. It’s unfair on the other children.

You could say that about all abilities. The reality is it’s TAs doing interventions not teachers.

ByHangryHazelQuoter · 07/07/2026 07:58

The upshot is that you can’t rely on the state. You just can’t. Your child is your responsibility and you need to do whatever you can to help them achieve their potential - by providing support yourself or sourcing it in other ways. That’s the only way people succeed or reach potential- by taking it into their own hands.

Jumbaree · 07/07/2026 07:57

itsgettingweird · 07/07/2026 07:46

But an NT child (and btw many ND pupils are also academically gifted) can already be included in education without adaptations.

An inclusion policy is about how to include those with diverse needs.

I think you’re asking about gifted and talented policies which are different - and yes those who are academically above average should be pushed to achieve their best. But that could also include a pupil who has SEND too - my ds was a gifted scientist and programmer in a wheelchair. He needed the environment adapted and also access to higher level teaching.

My ND niece hasn’t sat an exam in any subject and got less than 90%. All she asks for is a calm classroom. When you include violent and disruptive children you exclude the likes of her (and the rest of the class) from learning. Why? Why do it? What is the point in harming every learners progress just do you can boast smug platitudes about how ‘inclusive’ (group hug!) you are. It’s farcical.

itsgettingweird · 07/07/2026 07:46

But an NT child (and btw many ND pupils are also academically gifted) can already be included in education without adaptations.

An inclusion policy is about how to include those with diverse needs.

I think you’re asking about gifted and talented policies which are different - and yes those who are academically above average should be pushed to achieve their best. But that could also include a pupil who has SEND too - my ds was a gifted scientist and programmer in a wheelchair. He needed the environment adapted and also access to higher level teaching.

Jumbaree · 07/07/2026 07:44

C0dename · 06/07/2026 22:01

Exactly this! Some parents don’t like to accept their children aren’t the brightest and the best and they need a lot of support to attain the goals said parents have set. These parents then turn on children who actually need support. Just awful.

If in a class of 30 there is any child that needs more than say 20% of a teachers time they shouldn’t be there. It’s unfair on the other children.

DevonKnowsImMiserableNow · 07/07/2026 07:42

Brownwithnopezazz · 06/07/2026 17:25

Inclusion policies are absolutely toxic to the majority, and an obstacle to excellence. My children’s only negative memories of school are due to pupils who simply shouldn’t have been there. It’s
palpably absurd to favour the few at the expense of the many. When is this drivel going to stop? It’s truly surreal to hear how a child has yelled and walloped his way through the day at school, every day, so he can be included. Why don’t we tell the truth, that these inclusive policies are damaging.
WTF is so wrong with going somewhere tailored to your behaviour, instead of putting a fox in with pigeons, your fingers in your ears, and singing lalala, isn’t it lovely!

What an unpleasant view. Diversity and inclusion should be promoted in practice - not just as buzzwords - across the board, not just in education.

LathkillDale · 07/07/2026 07:38

TempestTost · 07/07/2026 03:04

I think this is only partly true.

Part of what allows this situation to go on is that schools are legally bound when it comes to kids who have a barrier or struggle. If they don't accomodate Johnny and adapt the program to his needs, they can be held accountable. To the point that it's true even if he is affecting other kids ability to be educated because he is disruptive.

I'm not saying they always are successful in meeting those needs, btw, but there is an obligation which schools have in a way they don't for average, or gifted, students.

Because there is no similar obligation to other kids, there is no real lever for parents to use, or anyone to use, to argue for more funding, or that Jane who is massively gifted in maths, or John in music, need any kinds of supports in terms of their education.

Those things, those kids, can be completely sacrificed in order to meet the needs of the students who do have legal and policy protections - even students who never have any chance of meeting minimal educational outcomes to carry on with training or further education.

Why would there be funding for things where there is no statutory obligation to provide them?

How can schools be held accountable by parents of children, who have SEN, but no EHC plan and in reality get no SEN support?

Parents can a formal complaint to the governors, for not using their best endeavours; and the governors can effectively ignore them. Then what can parents do really? Complaints to the Local Government Ombudsman take a long time, and the remedies go nowhere to make up for the child’s loss of education for years.

A claim of disability discrimination to the SEND tribunal achieves nothing. Apparently hearing dates now are being given for the end of next year. It’s very stressful for the parents and even if they win, at best, they’ll get an apology from the school; but the relationship with the school will have been destroyed. The parents will have to find a new school, with no guarantee, it will be any better.

This is why parents apply for EHC plan needs assessments; but LAs’ default position is to refuse the first time. Parents have to appeal to the SEN tribunal, which as above will take 18 months. Assuming the parents win, the EHC plan won’t be worth the paper it’s written on, when it’s issued. The parents will have to appeal to the tribunal again over the needs and provisions, or rather the lack of them in the EHC plan - which will take the parents another 18 months, stress and money on independent professional reports.

LAs flout SEN law every day on a massive scale, and the government does nothing to police them, because it comes down to lack of funding by the government. It’s left to individual parents to police them. Few parents (probably less than 10%) have the wherewithal, the stamina and money to fight for three years to get their children with SEN what they need in school - which is what LAs rely on to save money! Meanwhile, the children are left to struggle for another three years in school, on top of what has already been wasted, until the parents realise their child is having difficulty.

So the idea, children with SEN have legal rights and accountability in schools, which gives them an advantage over gifted and talented children is an empty promise at best, probably for 90% of them. It’s like the emperor’s new clothes!

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