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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have made remarks about my friend’s dress

376 replies

ladieswholunch23 · 06/07/2026 16:43

Hi all. So, one of my friends is going to a wedding and she’s bought a dress which is…peculiar to say the least. So our group chat (roughly around 8 of us) we - obviously as to not hurt her feelings - we said we liked it as it had already been purchased.

However on our other group chat that she’s not on, we all gave our true thoughts that the dress is hideous and, at the very least, is not suitable for a wedding. Somehow my friend found out about this other group chat and the things we had been saying. Whilst obviously it wasn’t the intention to hurt her, she’s now saying we betrayed her and it has now caused a rift in the friend group. I love to death but she can be a real pain sometimes. AIBU?

OP posts:
Minasama · 06/07/2026 16:46

This was really horrible, to gossip about her dress behind her back. She must feel awful.

Admittedly I lived in Germany where people are very direct, but surely one of you could have gently said - are you sure about that dress, some people might see that as a bit revealing/not quite your colour/not “occasion” enough for a wedding? There is a way to phrase these things nicely unless you think it would cause irreparable offence.

I have a larger friend who once showed me a bright purple dress in a changing room. It really didn’t suit her, it was a large expanse of purple and not flattering. I just asked if there was perhaps another colour it came in, and she found it in a much more flattering colour, tried it on and liked it. These things can be done tactfully.

It has never occurred to me to mention this to anyone, certainly not to gossip about it on WhatsApp with the rest of our friends.