To let grandparents take 9yo on cruise

Seriously if your husband doesn’t trust his mum don’t let her go!

@Shinyhappyapple The cruise line we use, 100 passengers, is doing Baltic in 2028. We have booked - 2027 is full.

I would want my child to have that opened would talk my DH into it

It’s no different to an attentive grandmother and inattentive grandfather just with roles reversed.
If she is close to her DGP’s and have spent the night in the past, then I’d let her go if she’s a sensible 9 y.o.
How did feckless MIL manage to raise DH. Has he other siblings too?

I’m thinking of myself with the reduced energy! No offence meant to anyone else. The cruise I fancy is Baltic cities. Maybe next year.

Sorry I don't understand this : Would he known for being a bit unhinged.

Either way the answer would be no from me. Your fil cannot watch her the whole time, I would be nervous that he would have to go to the loo etc and ask mil to keep and eye on her in the pool etc and she doesn't. Cruises ships pools are very busy and there have been cases of kids drowning in pools because they are so busy no one notices.

If you trust DFIL to hold the same standards that you do. I find the idea of children on cruises stressful, doesn't appeal to me. Stranger danger/water etc. Really it's something you need to figure out as we don't know these people or how sensible DD is or how crazy MIL is.

@Shinyhappyapple Some peoole stay on the boat in port! And when we ads older, do not assume everyone has no energy! I go small ship cruising and we are busy every day! Full Programme of walking, sightseeing and zodiac cruising!

I guess if you go on the kind of cruise which is full of sea days - the ones I’ve looked at stop at a different port every day. I always think they look quite tiring and don’t get why they are seen as a holiday for ‘older people’.

You cannot send her. Even your DH isn't happy with his mother.

My DF was perfectly capable of looking after my DC at that age, they would have had a whale of a time together. However my DM would have tried to actively sabotage that, because that's who she was. So she would tell DC it was alright to go off somewhere alone, or take them somewhere herself without telling anyone and then not look out for them, or feed them dodgy food, or tell them to run home alone or swim in a river or whatever - and he could barely say no to her when it was just him. So they didn't have unsupervised time with the DC. I couldn't trust him to stand up to her. Sounds like your FIL has the same issue.

I didn't know Disney were planning UK departures so looked it up.

It's over £2,500 plus gratuities of at least £65 per person for a 4 day cruise from Southampton to Spain next year. I can't think who a Disney cruise is for!

Me neither…but I doubt very much that a Disney cruise is for us oldies!

Can she not go in the kids club? Mine went on residential holidays that age without me? What could actually happen? Where would she sleep? Can she swim? A 9 year old isn’t a baby and won’t she be with other dc? Why not find out more about what they are doing and where DD fits into the plans.

As far as the safety and her having fun I don’t think you have anything to worry about, the bigger issue is a family fallout. A 9 year old can almost look after themselves after all

No way would I allow my 9yr old child to go on a cruise (or any other holiday) with grandparents who may or may not keep a very close eye on my child 24/7.

9yr old youngsters can be very energetic and inquisitive. I’d be afraid of climbing railings and …..

You’d send her on a weeks cruise with a woman you don’t fully trust?!! Father in law can’t watch her 24/7. What if he falls ill or something? There’s no way in hell I’d even contemplate this.

Its your dh parents its his decision

Absolutely don’t allow it .

In what way can't your MIL be trusted? I think you need to give more context. Is she going to let your daughter eat junk for an entire week or is she likely to let your daughter do something dangerous? Both are very different! It sounds as if your FIL is trusted completely by both you, but it would be impossible for him to be by your daughter's side all the time.

Your husband doesn't trust his Mum, and we have to presume he knows his Mum very well. Unless you are able to accompany your daughter on the cruise, then I think you need to support your husband's stance.

it's sad how little imagination some people have that they assume their single thought about anything must be all there is to know about something.

is she not his child? surely he knows his Mother best

This is a nuts premise @irishchick93 your husband knows his family much better than you do and he doesn’t think it is suitable. There is no way you should try to convince him. He has his reasons.

There are many things more boring.
Edited to exclude my factually correct opinion.

I would happily wave my 9 year old off with adults I trusted but if I couldn’t trust them then there’s no way I would send her.