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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being told that as a size 18 I can’t wear certain clothes

546 replies

isaidmaybeyoure · 06/07/2026 11:09

I do appreciate that when posting canvassing for opinions on outfits etc., you will get all sorts of responses.

But I have been told a few times now that as a size 18, I should cover up and not expose too much skin, basically purely because of my size.

AIBU to think this isn’t okay? I have as much a right to get my shoulders out as any other size!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
Wickedlittledancer · 06/07/2026 15:06

LostInTheDream · 06/07/2026 15:06

Mumsnet is absolutely wild. People saying that the model is overweight. The website says she is a size 8, she absolutely is not overweight at all and wouldn't be even if she was a couple of sizes bigger.

OP, I'm a similar size to you and I think the white spotty dress might look less casual with a steam (appreciate you have just popped it on and I'm not picky for every day wear). The brown char gpt one would convince me to order if I thought I could solve the bra situation.

Your arms are fine ☺️

People on here are so judgy, it's very difficult living your day to day life knowing that there are so many toxic people judging external appearance over absolutely everything else about a person

What are you on about, the model in question is stated as an 18 at 5ft 9.

LostInTheDream · 06/07/2026 15:06

Mumsnet is absolutely wild. People saying that the model is overweight. The website says she is a size 8, she absolutely is not overweight at all and wouldn't be even if she was a couple of sizes bigger.

OP, I'm a similar size to you and I think the white spotty dress might look less casual with a steam (appreciate you have just popped it on and I'm not picky for every day wear). The brown char gpt one would convince me to order if I thought I could solve the bra situation.

Your arms are fine ☺️

People on here are so judgy, it's very difficult living your day to day life knowing that there are so many toxic people judging external appearance over absolutely everything else about a person

NoWorkToday · 06/07/2026 15:05

MessyNDepressy · 06/07/2026 14:58

I think if you ask on the internet you are unfortunately going to get some nasty replies. There will always be people who hide behind their screens who wouldn’t dare say anything like that in person. You should wear whatever you like! I think you look great in the brown dress. Yes ChatGPT tidies things up a bit but it’s not made that much of a difference.

Are people really saying that the model in the brown dress on the website is overweight/obese or have I got it wrong? It states on the website that she is wearing a size 8. She’s clearly not overweight!

Cancel the cheque. No this isn’t the one people are talking about!

walkingmyway · 06/07/2026 15:04

isaidmaybeyoure · 06/07/2026 15:03

“She looks enormous and anything but lovely”

”you are also large”

You will get it, I’ve had it all my life because I’m tall and broad
“oh you’re a big girl” is the one I used to get a lot. At 5ft 11 and a size 14. Not big, TALL!

NoWorkToday · 06/07/2026 15:04

The thread is mad.

OP has argued that a plus sized overweight model isn’t overweight and thinks that the chat gpt version of herself hasn’t really changed her. 🤪

What is going on here? Mumsnet gets madder by the day.

Wear what you like OP but people have eyes and aren’t going to join in with the madness. It doesn’t help anyone to lie about weight and pretend slimmed down photos are an accurate representation.

isaidmaybeyoure · 06/07/2026 15:03

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 06/07/2026 15:00

Where are you getting ugly connected to being overweight.

“She looks enormous and anything but lovely”

”you are also large”

OP posts:
isaidmaybeyoure · 06/07/2026 15:03

Morelovelyandtemperate · 06/07/2026 15:01

If you don't like people expressing opinions then hanging out on a site created for women to exchange ideas and express opinions is probably not the best place to be.
But that's only my opinion ofc 😌

You can express an opinion without being nasty like people on here have been.

OP posts:
Morelovelyandtemperate · 06/07/2026 15:01

If you don't like people expressing opinions then hanging out on a site created for women to exchange ideas and express opinions is probably not the best place to be.
But that's only my opinion ofc 😌

Wickedlittledancer · 06/07/2026 15:00

MessyNDepressy · 06/07/2026 14:58

I think if you ask on the internet you are unfortunately going to get some nasty replies. There will always be people who hide behind their screens who wouldn’t dare say anything like that in person. You should wear whatever you like! I think you look great in the brown dress. Yes ChatGPT tidies things up a bit but it’s not made that much of a difference.

Are people really saying that the model in the brown dress on the website is overweight/obese or have I got it wrong? It states on the website that she is wearing a size 8. She’s clearly not overweight!

Please read the thread, yes you’re wrong, it’s the colourful dress, and yes the images are heavily edited from the op, she may not have realised it, but it is clearly visible in terms of arms etc from the spotty dress to the brown one. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t or won’t look lovely. She just won’t look like the ai image,

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 06/07/2026 15:00

isaidmaybeyoure · 06/07/2026 13:55

So you’re basically saying I look ugly?

Because of my weight?

Where are you getting ugly connected to being overweight.

MessyNDepressy · 06/07/2026 14:58

I think if you ask on the internet you are unfortunately going to get some nasty replies. There will always be people who hide behind their screens who wouldn’t dare say anything like that in person. You should wear whatever you like! I think you look great in the brown dress. Yes ChatGPT tidies things up a bit but it’s not made that much of a difference.

Are people really saying that the model in the brown dress on the website is overweight/obese or have I got it wrong? It states on the website that she is wearing a size 8. She’s clearly not overweight!

Being told that as a size 18 I can’t wear certain clothes
Being told that as a size 18 I can’t wear certain clothes
Puffalicious · 06/07/2026 14:57

OP I always loved a halterneck when I was young, smooth & toned: my shoulder shape & back always really suited it, & even better if also a higher neck (small of boob & don't suit a low neckline). BUT I wouldn't chose that shape now 30 years later as my arms have changed: I'm much older & wear a different size (12/14 rather than 8/10). Both things - age & size- are important for me now as the skin looks really different. I do need to find the time & routine to tone my 54 year old body up, but even then I wouldn't wear a halter dress to a wedding. I do think they're best left to the beautifully toned & smooth.

That's MY opinion, & I've approached this question with how I would feel in such a dress- self-concious & uncomfortable. This is probably why PPs are upsetting you, as they are writing how THEY would feel. If YOU want to wear it, great. If you wouldn't feel self-concious, brilliant, I applaud you. Just trying to show why PPs feel differently.

If it's about heat, you can get lovely dresses with short/floaty sleeves that are cool, if you would like. I'm also going to a wedding reception next week & have ordered a dress with sleeves that is still cool (in both heat & style, I think).

Wickedlittledancer · 06/07/2026 14:57

Op, I don’t think the poster is annoyed, or someone else is nasty,

the only person saying overweight women can’t look good is you. The only person saying a clearly over weight woman isn’t is you. The only person pretending to be smaller than you are by posting clearly edited images is you,

yes, everyone looks better a healthy weight than over or under weight, in most people’s opinions, and so they should, a healthy weight is called that for a reason, being under or over is unhealthy, and the further away you stray the more unhealthy it gets.

Breadcat24 · 06/07/2026 14:55

Wear what you like and I hope you enjoy it

walkingmyway · 06/07/2026 14:55

DancingNotDrowning · 06/07/2026 14:53

This is the picture that people are commenting that the model is overweight.

I mean it’s from the Curve /plus size range so I would be more surprised if she wasn’t overweight

isaidmaybeyoure · 06/07/2026 14:54

namethisbird · 06/07/2026 14:48

This in spades. I blame these plus size influencers who are wearing diabolical clothes that do not suit their size18 and over bodies all in the pursuit of body positivity.
Lets be realistic anything over a size 10/12 is larger than you should be so yes a halter neck on a size 18 isn’t going to look as good as it would on a size 10 woman. I don’t think it’s wrong to say that.
There are so many flattering options in the stores/online for obese women but they want to walk around with rolls out for some reason.

Because it annoys people like you to be honest

OP posts:
isaidmaybeyoure · 06/07/2026 14:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sartre · 06/07/2026 14:53

There are some items of clothing only very slim and often young women can get away with. I’m thinking crop tops and hot pants sort of thing. Yes some bigger women wear those but it isn’t a good look.

DancingNotDrowning · 06/07/2026 14:53

This is the picture that people are commenting that the model is overweight.

Being told that as a size 18 I can’t wear certain clothes
Being told that as a size 18 I can’t wear certain clothes
AlcoholicAntibiotic · 06/07/2026 14:53

namethisbird · 06/07/2026 14:48

This in spades. I blame these plus size influencers who are wearing diabolical clothes that do not suit their size18 and over bodies all in the pursuit of body positivity.
Lets be realistic anything over a size 10/12 is larger than you should be so yes a halter neck on a size 18 isn’t going to look as good as it would on a size 10 woman. I don’t think it’s wrong to say that.
There are so many flattering options in the stores/online for obese women but they want to walk around with rolls out for some reason.

It really does depend on your build.

I have broad shoulders and a wide ribcage. Even at my lowest weight (clinically underweight) I couldn’t fit into smaller than a size 14 for most things. Due to my bones, not my fat - which at the time was pretty much nonexistent.

vodkacran · 06/07/2026 14:51

isaidmaybeyoure · 06/07/2026 13:50

This is how ChatGPT thinks I’ll look, not too bad I’d say!

chat GPT is good to see hair colours and styles but it does change / edit your body type considerably..

Wickedlittledancer · 06/07/2026 14:50

isaidmaybeyoure · 06/07/2026 14:16

I look pretty similar to that. Sorry if it offends you to see someone fat and confident in their body

If your confident in your body why are you posting what is clearly a slimmed down image,?

I can’t comprehend what you’re doing here, no one said over weight or obese looks awful on some it does, it did on me, on others they look lovely. Arguing clearly overweight or obese plus size models are a healthy weight, simply as we don’t know their actual weight, like fat isn’t visible.

if you’re confident in your size then simply accept it.

namethisbird · 06/07/2026 14:48

vodkacran · 06/07/2026 11:40

I don't think a single person in this world would look better fat or obese or 'large' than a normal healthy weight. Maybe they look ill if they lose too much weight but a healthy size 8 or 10 is going to look better than an obese person. This type of comment is just so unrealistic and probably comes from projection. Fat tummy's and wobbly skin and neck rolls aren't ever going to look 'better' than a healthy weight and that sort of rhetoric should not be shared. Being obese isn't to be glorified just as being underweight isn't.

Back to the original OP, I'd never comment on what someone wears unsolicited and I wouldn't give it much thought. However, if someone asked me my opinion I'd be honest. And I would probably say anything too revealing or 'fleshy' (ew) on an overweight person may not be the most attractive look but that's about it. There's clothes that healthy and smaller people wear which I have the same thoughts of.

If you asked for their opinion, you can't moan about their response, as long as there was no malice or name calling etc

This in spades. I blame these plus size influencers who are wearing diabolical clothes that do not suit their size18 and over bodies all in the pursuit of body positivity.
Lets be realistic anything over a size 10/12 is larger than you should be so yes a halter neck on a size 18 isn’t going to look as good as it would on a size 10 woman. I don’t think it’s wrong to say that.
There are so many flattering options in the stores/online for obese women but they want to walk around with rolls out for some reason.

Ipollita · 06/07/2026 14:48

isaidmaybeyoure · 06/07/2026 14:11

Side by side I’d say my shoulders look pretty similar!

Your shoulders are covered by big frilly straps in the real photo. It’s clear that the AI image is heavily edited to make you look smaller - it’s even slimmed down your hands 🤣

If you want to keep lying to yourself, crack on but you can’t force others to partake in your delusion.

Wickedlittledancer · 06/07/2026 14:48

isaidmaybeyoure · 06/07/2026 13:28

Just awful. Absolutely awful. And veiling the “she’s obese” to mean they think she looks awful, they think they’re getting away with it!

That’s not what it means, that’s your interpretation of how obese looks. Most of those models , the plus size ones are obese and look lovely,