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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being told that as a size 18 I can’t wear certain clothes

546 replies

isaidmaybeyoure · 06/07/2026 11:09

I do appreciate that when posting canvassing for opinions on outfits etc., you will get all sorts of responses.

But I have been told a few times now that as a size 18, I should cover up and not expose too much skin, basically purely because of my size.

AIBU to think this isn’t okay? I have as much a right to get my shoulders out as any other size!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
DancingNotDrowning · 07/07/2026 12:52

Sartre · 07/07/2026 11:48

I think it’s this woman. Size 8 and 5 ft 10- apparently overweight? Mumsnet is mad.

JFC this has been posted and corrected at least half a dozen times. It’s this dress

Being told that as a size 18 I can’t wear certain clothes
Being told that as a size 18 I can’t wear certain clothes
ImPamDoove · 07/07/2026 12:50

Wickedlittledancer · 07/07/2026 12:17

Yes I didn’t get that dress either, and certainly didn’t see the wow. I usually thought she looked great, but didn’t see it in that dress.

I think it was seen as a sexy dress at the time and Diana wasn’t known for being a sexy dresser. But it was ghastly imo.

Calliopespa · 07/07/2026 12:47

Tradescanti · 07/07/2026 12:36

You are out of order with your name-calling when you haven't bothered to read the thread before commenting or at least checked the links.

Yes, totally out of order. They aren't being judgmental about all women's bodies, just some.

Best read the thread @DidYeAye16 ! You need the full context of the judgment.🙄

Then again, maybe don't if shaming and judgment isn't your thing.

Tradescanti · 07/07/2026 12:36

DidYeAye16 · 07/07/2026 12:26

Ffs the comments on here are shocking. I'm a size 8 and people saying the model in the brown dress is a tank etc are disgusting. She looks like an average sized woman. Some of you really are absolute vultures.

Op, wear whatever you want, like and feel confident in and ignore comments on mumsnet from the people who think it's okay to anonymously get their claws out and say shit they'd never say to your face.

You are out of order with your name-calling when you haven't bothered to read the thread before commenting or at least checked the links.

SwanRivers · 07/07/2026 12:29

DidYeAye16 · 07/07/2026 12:26

Ffs the comments on here are shocking. I'm a size 8 and people saying the model in the brown dress is a tank etc are disgusting. She looks like an average sized woman. Some of you really are absolute vultures.

Op, wear whatever you want, like and feel confident in and ignore comments on mumsnet from the people who think it's okay to anonymously get their claws out and say shit they'd never say to your face.

🤦‍♀️

the narrator GIF
LeastOfMyWorries · 07/07/2026 12:28

DidYeAye16 · 07/07/2026 12:26

Ffs the comments on here are shocking. I'm a size 8 and people saying the model in the brown dress is a tank etc are disgusting. She looks like an average sized woman. Some of you really are absolute vultures.

Op, wear whatever you want, like and feel confident in and ignore comments on mumsnet from the people who think it's okay to anonymously get their claws out and say shit they'd never say to your face.

Literally noone has been talking about the model in the brown dress, apart from people who haven't understood or bothered to read the thread properly.

Noone has actually CRITICISED the model in the asos dress that actually is in question, theyve just said she is overweight. Which she is. She's a size 18, and looks it. I am also a size 18, and look it, i am also overweight.

DidYeAye16 · 07/07/2026 12:26

Ffs the comments on here are shocking. I'm a size 8 and people saying the model in the brown dress is a tank etc are disgusting. She looks like an average sized woman. Some of you really are absolute vultures.

Op, wear whatever you want, like and feel confident in and ignore comments on mumsnet from the people who think it's okay to anonymously get their claws out and say shit they'd never say to your face.

SwanRivers · 07/07/2026 12:21

Butchyrestingface · 07/07/2026 12:15

https://www.asos.com/topshop/topshop-chiffon-maxi-dress-with-seam-detail-in-green-floral/prd/210570227#ctaref-we%20recommend%20carousel_4&featureref1-we%20recommend%20pers

Asos is not a store I ever visit. I really like this one though, but I'm too short and porky with nowhere to go for it. Mebbes I should head me over to Style & Beauty to get myself dissected. Grin

You'd get slaughtered for the 'mebbes' alone! 😁😁

Wickedlittledancer · 07/07/2026 12:17

FullLondonEye · 07/07/2026 12:12

Meh, I've been bigger than I am now but much, much more toned. There are different types of large, flabby or solid, but you get it with thin too. I'm not fat but I'm certainly not toned either. I'm not bitching at myself, just being realistic.

I can't work out what the OP wanted from this thread. We all know that everyone has opinions on everything. Some share more than others, everyone is thinking something. Some people lke bigger, some people don't. The OP and everyone on this thread knows it and I don't know why she's feigning shock and surprise at the idea that people have different opinions. Wear what you like. Some people will think you look good, some won't, for a variety of different reasons. Don't ever expect anything else.

For what it's worth, there's one universally loved dress on a certain person that everyone fawns all over - Princess Di's 'revenge' dress. I don't get it. I don't think it was at all flattering or stylish, quite frumpy in fact. However she would no doubt have thought I usually look like shit too. You cannot please all of the people all of the time so give up trying.

Yes I didn’t get that dress either, and certainly didn’t see the wow. I usually thought she looked great, but didn’t see it in that dress.

Butchyrestingface · 07/07/2026 12:15

https://www.asos.com/topshop/topshop-chiffon-maxi-dress-with-seam-detail-in-green-floral/prd/210570227#ctaref-we%20recommend%20carousel_4&featureref1-we%20recommend%20pers

Asos is not a store I ever visit. I really like this one though, but I'm too short and porky with nowhere to go for it. Mebbes I should head me over to Style & Beauty to get myself dissected. Grin

FullLondonEye · 07/07/2026 12:12

catcatcat24 · 06/07/2026 13:01

I’m not being an arse but saying that your friend is ‘toned’ and ‘size 18’ doesn’t make any sense.

Meh, I've been bigger than I am now but much, much more toned. There are different types of large, flabby or solid, but you get it with thin too. I'm not fat but I'm certainly not toned either. I'm not bitching at myself, just being realistic.

I can't work out what the OP wanted from this thread. We all know that everyone has opinions on everything. Some share more than others, everyone is thinking something. Some people lke bigger, some people don't. The OP and everyone on this thread knows it and I don't know why she's feigning shock and surprise at the idea that people have different opinions. Wear what you like. Some people will think you look good, some won't, for a variety of different reasons. Don't ever expect anything else.

For what it's worth, there's one universally loved dress on a certain person that everyone fawns all over - Princess Di's 'revenge' dress. I don't get it. I don't think it was at all flattering or stylish, quite frumpy in fact. However she would no doubt have thought I usually look like shit too. You cannot please all of the people all of the time so give up trying.

SwanRivers · 07/07/2026 11:58

It is this one, yes.

The link has been repeatedly posted and the photos are at the top of the thread in the gallery.

Clearly overweight but looks lovely.

Wickedlittledancer · 07/07/2026 11:52

Sartre · 07/07/2026 11:48

I think it’s this woman. Size 8 and 5 ft 10- apparently overweight? Mumsnet is mad.

Good grief, read the thread, it’s obviously not that one.

SwanRivers · 07/07/2026 11:52

Sartre · 07/07/2026 11:48

I think it’s this woman. Size 8 and 5 ft 10- apparently overweight? Mumsnet is mad.

Oh for God sake, I wish people would just stop this shit and read the bloody thread.

It has been said countless amounts of times that this is NOT the photo!!

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 07/07/2026 11:51

Sartre · 07/07/2026 11:47

I’m a teensy bit shocked people think the model who is a size 8 and 5 ft 9 is overweight… In which universe exactly? Also the dress is super flattering OP so you’d look fine in it even as an overweight person. It’s pretty loose fitting.

I honestly think fat people can wear what they want but the recent trend of fat younger women in crop tops isn’t the nicest, I don’t really want to see their midriff.

I’m all for body confidence whatever shape or size you are but some people you do wonder if they look in the mirror or if other people tell them honestly what they think of them.,

CookieDough24 · 07/07/2026 11:50

Sartre · 07/07/2026 11:47

I’m a teensy bit shocked people think the model who is a size 8 and 5 ft 9 is overweight… In which universe exactly? Also the dress is super flattering OP so you’d look fine in it even as an overweight person. It’s pretty loose fitting.

I honestly think fat people can wear what they want but the recent trend of fat younger women in crop tops isn’t the nicest, I don’t really want to see their midriff.

Nobody thinks that model is overweight. It’s the asos one.

CookieDough24 · 07/07/2026 11:49

Sartre · 07/07/2026 11:48

I think it’s this woman. Size 8 and 5 ft 10- apparently overweight? Mumsnet is mad.

Nope. Not this one. The asos dress

Sartre · 07/07/2026 11:48

Butchyrestingface · 07/07/2026 11:35

YABU. I wear whatever I like but equally don't canvass the opinions of total strangers online (especially if I can't take it).

Curious to see the photo of this model now though.

I think it’s this woman. Size 8 and 5 ft 10- apparently overweight? Mumsnet is mad.

Being told that as a size 18 I can’t wear certain clothes
Sartre · 07/07/2026 11:47

I’m a teensy bit shocked people think the model who is a size 8 and 5 ft 9 is overweight… In which universe exactly? Also the dress is super flattering OP so you’d look fine in it even as an overweight person. It’s pretty loose fitting.

I honestly think fat people can wear what they want but the recent trend of fat younger women in crop tops isn’t the nicest, I don’t really want to see their midriff.

Butchyrestingface · 07/07/2026 11:35

YABU. I wear whatever I like but equally don't canvass the opinions of total strangers online (especially if I can't take it).

Curious to see the photo of this model now though.

FullLondonEye · 07/07/2026 11:28

A size 18 (I'm an 18) has exactly the same right to wear strappy tops, shoulder‑bearing dresses, and anything else as a size 8.

You are absolutely right, of course. But you do understand that other people also have the right to dislike how it looks and to disagree?

I'm not saying they should, btw. I'm just uncomfortable with this thread becoming about people's right to think things. Whether you like it or not, some people find a lot of flesh unattractive, some love it and vice versa. That is their right. Even when we know better than to share it with others, we all have opinions about how other people look and weight is not the only factor in that.

QuintadosMalvados · 07/07/2026 10:49

user233675892 · 07/07/2026 10:36

I was literally answering the question asked in the post I was replying to. I did not weigh in on the larger topic, I offered no opinion. Just a recitation of the facts of what happened.

So go harangue someone else.

Yes. I appreciate that.
My post was expanding on what you said.
For everybody else to read.
The response was not specifically aimed at you but sorry if that's how it comes across.

Tradescanti · 07/07/2026 10:39

AzureFinch · 07/07/2026 09:55

OMG whoever said that isn't a friend! Wear what you want babe

It wasn't a friend who said it, although that was implied. It was a couple of Mumsnet posters and on Reddit. Not worth all the angst.

user233675892 · 07/07/2026 10:36

QuintadosMalvados · 07/07/2026 09:56

Opinions were sought and given.
What is the problem?

Nobody is saying she can't wear the dress.
Nobody's going to arrest her for it.
Nobody is giving her unsolicited advice.

I would not dream of going up to a size 20 woman wearing a skintight dress and saying 'God that dress doesn't suit you',
It would be rude.
But if she says, 'does this suit me?' and wants my genuine opinion I'm going to say no it does not.

The OP needs to get a grip.

I was literally answering the question asked in the post I was replying to. I did not weigh in on the larger topic, I offered no opinion. Just a recitation of the facts of what happened.

So go harangue someone else.

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