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Original poster

3 year old food refusal, worrying the life out of me

55 replies

mrssnow7 · 06/07/2026 10:09

My 3 year old DD refuses most food and it’s really beginning to worry me, DH thinks it’ll resolve itself in time but I’m not convinced.

Since she was 6 months, she ate salmon, all kinds of veg, fruit, never been big on meat but could always rely on salmon, haddock or cod etc.

For the last 6 months all she wants is plain pasta or jacket potato with beans.

She refuses all fruit other than watermelon, will not eat any veg except a corn on the cob which she occasionally nibbles at and she’s always yawning, tired even though she sleeps 18:30 - 7am and she’s becoming increasingly frustrated by me it seems.

I feel like I’m treading on eggshells, sometimes she’s the funniest, sweetest and kindest 3 year old I know then other times she’ll randomly lash out at me, she’ll scratch me or hit me in my face. Never her Dad, Brother or anyone else in the family/she’s never ever spiteful to other children and her nursery teachers adore her, she gets birthday party invites etc.

I always get to her level and explain that there is no smacking, scratching etc in our home and I’ll always follow through with an age appropriate punishment. I try and ask her what’s wrong, is there anything she’d like to talk to me about etc but I just get no or I don’t know.

She is 88cm and 14.5kg.

I end up binning so much veg/fruit and I’m sick of dinner time battles when I end up giving up trying to get her to eat the dinner I’ve made and I’ll cook her pasta or a jacket potato instead just so she’ll have something in her stomach.

Pre school tells me she tries every meal, every day it’s reported on the app that she’s ate at least half of it, things she wouldn’t even try at home.

We are down to option for breakfast which is Brioche, some days she has one bite of it then that’s it.

She refuses lunch completely on the days she doesn’t go to pre school.

She’d happily go through a whole pack of cheese strings, petit filous and crisps if I let her.

I just want her to be healthy and eating good food.

Any advice or experiences with similar would be really helpful, thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
mrssnow7 · 06/07/2026 10:39

EmeraldShamrock000 · 06/07/2026 10:15

It happens like that. It won’t resolve itself. It is usually a sensory issue, if you’re in a position to do so, I’d book an appointment with a nutritionist and maybe OT. Look up Afrid.
My DS is horrendous. He eats 4 things, as a toddler he ate everything.
I wish I dealt with it through professional supervision earlier.

Edited

I’m sorry to hear this, thank you for your advice. I think I’ll book a GP appt.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrssnow7 · 06/07/2026 10:37

Ghuf · 06/07/2026 10:27

If she hits you, smack her (perfectly legal in England). She'll learn then not to hit you. Soft parenting won't get you anywhere.

If she refuses to eat what you make, well let her go hungry for a bit. She'll learn. Don't get bullied by your 3 year old daughter. You're a parent, parent effectively

I would never hit anyone, let alone my child.

OP posts:
Ghuf · 06/07/2026 10:27

If she hits you, smack her (perfectly legal in England). She'll learn then not to hit you. Soft parenting won't get you anywhere.

If she refuses to eat what you make, well let her go hungry for a bit. She'll learn. Don't get bullied by your 3 year old daughter. You're a parent, parent effectively

EmeraldShamrock000 · 06/07/2026 10:15

It happens like that. It won’t resolve itself. It is usually a sensory issue, if you’re in a position to do so, I’d book an appointment with a nutritionist and maybe OT. Look up Afrid.
My DS is horrendous. He eats 4 things, as a toddler he ate everything.
I wish I dealt with it through professional supervision earlier.

pragmatismuniversalsentimentalist · 06/07/2026 10:12

She knows if she refuses what you've made you'll eventually offer her the preferred alternative of jacket potato.
Instead why not serve her a meal that includes just a little bit of jacket potato on the plate so that she has that safe option there and you know she's had something, but where she can't completely fill up on it. Then dont offer an alternative. She wont starve she'll just be hungrier by the next meal - dont offer snacks a couple of hours later.