AIBU to ask a friend’s guest not to join private breakfast?

Maybe they're hobbits 😂
Second breakfast style 😁

Be factual.
“No bullying: other friend and I had arranged to meet for breakfast to discuss something particular. Fully intending to meet everyone else at the agreed time. New friend arrived early and I asked that we finish our meeting. Not sure what the drama is”

The regular meet up is for coffee.

OP was there already 20 minutes before time, mid meal with someone unconnected to the coffee group.

Not difficult to get that it was a different meet up and not assume you can just join someone eating.

Exactly this

I agree,the whole set up seems a bit odd. Unless there's literally one café in town, surely best choice for keeping the two totally separate (as it seems OP does) is to have breakfast in one place, say your goodbyes and go on to the coffee meet?

That is absolutely nothing to do with anyone other than Op and her friend!

Tbh I would feel weird about dismissing my private chat friend for the coffee group afterwards as well. I would just have had breakfast somewhere else so there would be no overlap because the friend i’m having breakfast with would either be told it was time to fuck off or I’d have to invite her once my coffee group arrived, both options would feel awkward to me.

Arranging a private chat in the same venue where you were meeting other people was a recipe for this.

No idea why you couldn’t have explained without being unnecessarily abrupt.

Is it a mixed bag?

Sounds like you were quite reasonable to me. It should have been obvious the friend was not part of the group and they were early. It's pretty rude to plonk your self in a seat in that circumstance. A quick hello and I'll see you in half an hour is appropriate.

If i were meeting some people for coffee and one of them was already at that place with someone new i’d assume they were joining the group and sit down at the same table. I think YWBU and rude tbh, I’m not surprised she was confused.

You've seemingly skipped over the part where they were having a private conversation...and someone tried to insert themselves into the situation.

You arranged a "private meetup" with a friend in the same place that you were due to have a breakfast meet up with other friends.
"Intro friend" arrived 20 minutes early for the meetup, which isn't too unreasonable and spotted you.
I'd have probably assumed that you were just early too and come over. She's not bloody psychic. How's she supposed to know you're having a "private" meet before the actual meet?! You'd have embarrassed her and made her feel like crap.
Also, what were you going to do when the time of the actual meet came up in 20 minutes?!
Shunt your "private" friend off, like "next please!"
Conveyor belt style?!
YABU.

How many meals can you have before breakfast???

She joined you at another pre meet up you had and were eating?

She was unbelievably rude to do this.

In your place I would simply state these facts.

You had a pre meet up arrangement made with someone unconnected to your regular arrangement and were eating.
This person assuming she could just join you was extremely rude.
As for calling you bullying, she is a cheeky fxxker, just like the woman who thought she could plonk down at your table uninvited.

I would be making a new group without either woman and see these people at another time.

Life is too short. They both sound uncouth.

Wow. I actually cannot believe what I’m reading!

OP, are you in year 9?!

That was added later.

Perhaps not polite but certainly not bullying.

From what the OP has described about this person then perhaps being direct was the only way to get the message across?

How would you know that? Have you spoken go the others?

Honestly, OP what were the topics of this private conversation? And how urgent were they?

But how would she know this was a seperate meet up to the one arranged for the same venue?

Regardless of the personalities involved, if I turned up for a group breakfast a bit earlier and one or two of the breakfast club were already there, I'd assume they were early too and sit down with them. She may be a 'boor' (fun word) but she's not psychic.

I think this woman was a dick and behaved like her usual overbearing self and caused friction.

I think the OP was overly sharp with the other woman though.

Having a 'private meeting' is overly condenscending and makes it sound like you are treating the overbearing woman as an errant employee or child. Its not bullying, but it was inappropriate behaviour even if she is a knob.

You can't really have a 'private meeting' with somebody in a cafe where you are meeting up with other people you know, can you?

I have had one or two friends make me 'wait' to see them because they were (avoidably imo) tied up with something when I turned up. Its changed the way I view them I'm afraid, and one friendship didn't survive (for other reasons).

how very weird! So breakfast meeting arranged with all the women.

Then you turned up an hour early at the arranged locations but with a different unrelated woman, had breakfast, but then planned on joining the group 'for coffee' afterwards.. the person you don't like turned up early and came and sat down with you, and you sent her away like a naughty child.

Yes, you were fucking rude, and if it was just this woman that you would have given that treatment to then I can see how it would be seen as bullying.

What was your friend going to do? Were you going to send her away too when everyone else arrived.. what an awkward thing for every one involved.