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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not go on holiday with them?

55 replies

40goingon14 · 05/07/2026 22:53

I was always a slightly nervous flyer but it wasn’t until we had a very scary turbulent landing when I was pregnant with my eldest that my fear of flying really kicked in. I flew a couple of times in the first couple of years after he was born but had awful panic attacks during the flight embarrassing myself and then thanks to COVID, pregnancy and being able to avoid it I haven’t flown since, which I think has made the phobia even bigger.

My husband and 2 children really want to go to Spain during the summer holidays. If I could click my fingers and be there I would in a heartbeat, but the thought of the flight makes me feel sick and sweaty. I just don’t know what to do. DH says he will take them alone if I don’t want to go.

what do I do?

OP posts:
Gooseling · 05/07/2026 22:58

Imagine yourself home alone whilst your husband and kids are in Spain.

How would you feel? Would you feel sad? If so, go.

I used to have a really bad fear of flying when I was younger, and would have panic attacks. But I’ve realised the fear is just totally irrational. I was always scared of crashing.

I’ve been in 3 car crashes.
I’ve been in 0 plane crashes.

I know countless people who have been in car crashes.
I don’t know a single person who has been in a plane crash.

The only way you truly conquer a fear is by facing it. There’s no other way.

parietal · 05/07/2026 22:57

it is possible to take the train to Spain - look up the 'man in seat 61' website.

but do try a phobia course first - phobias are very fixable if you want to get it fixed.

40goingon14 · 05/07/2026 22:57

@Jewelanemone I suggested that but DH just says it’ll take too long to drive etc 😔 in his head it’s they are going and I do or don’t go with them. He probably would do another holiday going on the channel tunnel or whatever but he’s got it in his head he wants to fly to either Majorca or menorca for some reason

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 05/07/2026 22:56

I'd try a cbt based fear of flying course, and possibly ask the gp for diazepam.

Phobias are horrible, but restricting your family from holidays is also not ideal.

Jewelanemone · 05/07/2026 22:54

Ferry?

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