To not go on holiday with them?

Diazepam. I’ve been prescribed it for every flight in my adult life. Made an appt with my GP to bring it up a couple of months ago in advance of the holiday and the first thing she said was “no”. They’ve been told they can’t prescribe it for fear of flying but then she said that she would for me keeping it on the down low as if it was for my mental health conditions. I got it, I used it and we had a fantastic holiday.

Diazepan sorted me. My fear evolved from fear of flying (crashing) to a fear of panicking when flying. I dreaded the racing heart, shaking and general freaking out.

Diazepan stopped all the physical affects which in turn stopped my fear of flying. I still hate the take off stage but probably no more anxious that half of the other people on the flight.

Edit to add it was my NHS Scotland GP who prescribed it - enough for a practice at home plus 4 flights.

GPs aren’t allowed to prescribe Diazepam for flying so if you ask don’t say it’s for flying. I had a phobia of flying which meant I didn’t fly for over 20 years (apparently it’s really common for mothers in older age!) I just kept missing out on some really big events so pushed myself to go. Best advice I got was from here and that was to imagine the airplane was a car and any turbulence is like a car driving over a cobbled road. Weird I know but helped massively

I have a terrible fear if flying … Diazepam, 2 glasses of wine, headphones in as soon as I board playing some hypnosis, eye mask on - I am asleep before we take off

My daughter did one of the online courses and it really helped her - she's flown on her own and to Australia since doing it. She was extremely nervous before.

I also hate flying but have had to for work. BA do a great book called Flying with Confidence. They have a course too but it's expensive. The book made me feel way better and I re-read regularly.

Alan Carr fear of flying book, it's wonderful

I feel for you. I don't like turbulence either. I am not frightened of the plane crashing. I understand the logic. I am not even travel sick (although I don't like being hemmed in with other people when they are alarmed, frightened or sick). I realise that I am unreasonable, and that other people will not understand. I have been on maybe 200 flights, of which 95% were perfectly OK, maybe even more. And even of the 5%, 2.5 % were just bumpy at times. And yes, 2.5% were probably everyone's nightmare (aborted landings, landing in storms etc.). Fears / phobias are not rational. I have not sought help (although I definitely think it would be worth you exploring with some of the other suggestions PP have made, also I think drugs could help). Also explore what YOU could do (nothing wrong with setting out earlier and going by train etc. to meet OH and DC there - and they would need to meet you halfway with this, i.e not deliberately fly to an Island). Things that have helped me a) exposure (hard to do, but the more you do it the easier it becomes b) risk - yeah, you are always going to have an outlier, but choosing to fly into the most difficult airports at difficult times of the year is asking for it (e.g Madeira in March) c) prep / choice - my favourite airline is actually Ryanair - reason, they allow you to change seats (for free, or for the price difference on the seat ) up to 2 hours before the flight, and it is ludicrously easy on the app. Obviously if it is a busy plane, then there are no options, but often parts of the plane are often emptier, full rows are empty, and we often move seats exactly 2 hours and 5 minutes before so we get an aisle and a window, with a seat between us, and in a quieter part of the plane, it hugely helps. d) I sometimes double headphone, ear buds, and over ear, just to cut out some of the noise. I can't usually sleep as I am too nervous, but at least you are in your own bubble. e) Always have water to sip - because fear makes your mouth dry. Look, it isn't easy to overcome, and don't let others minimise it, everyone is frightened of something, and there are plenty who do not enjoy flying. Good luck with whatever you do xxx

He could compromise a lot more. Even mainland Spain you could go by boat or train.

Easyjet do fearless flyer courses: https://www.fearlessflyer.easyjet.com/

I think it’s fair of your dh to insist your kids don’t miss out on these experiences. Up to you whether you can go with him, but it would be a shame to confront your phobia later and look back on years of missing out. I’d book the flights, regard it as a done deal, and work hard at addressing the phobia. You won’t regret it, and you will regret not doing it. As you said yourself, avoiding flights has just made it worse, go to a laser games type flight simulator and amp up to a realistic one, but also get professional help not just cannabis.

I think this is good advice. You sit separately from the rest of the family, and do what you need to do to get through it.

I think having kids with you makes fear of flying worse as you have to stay so present. I used to be very scared of flying, now just a bit nervous (don’t asked me how that changed as I don’t know!). I like to just shut my eyes and go to sleep on a plane so I’m not thinking about it!

Can you go by Eurostar to Paris and then get another train ?

Hypnosis

it’s amazing

I think you need to face your fears. Turbulence, as far as I know, won’t hurt you.

Fast forward to when your DC are adults. What if they want to get married abroad, would you be happy to miss the wedding or knowing they couldn’t do what they’d like to do because you won’t fly?

You could try hypnotherapy?

Take yourself to the GP. There are good talking therapies for specific phobias like fear of flying. But they can discuss taking a sedative to help you cope with the flight. As long as your husband can cope looking after the kids and possibly you being a bit off your head, it’s a workable strategy.
But, long term, definitely look into talking therapies for phobias. They have a very high success rate for permanently dealing with the problem.

https://youtube.com/shorts/9Mfl7gTlQ3c?is=LJrQLgHSe986ERAL

This YouTube vid explains turbulence. It’s just feeling the pressure changes. There’s nothing dangerous about it.

Ok my post has been hidden and it wasnt even anything crazy... ill try again

Take a couple of "herbal alternative therapy" gummies before security
A large glass of wine

Tell dh hes in charge of everything/anything
Earpods in close eyes get through next few hours

Do you want your DH to not go? Or would you be fine them going without you?

Take a few CBD gummies just before you go through security.

Then a large wine.

Tell DH he's in charge of everyone and everything.

Earbuds in for music/podcast on plane, eyes closed.

Speak to your GP, maybe they can prescribe you something.