Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

“Hurry up” just before sex

178 replies

Uglymug2 · 05/07/2026 22:02

I’ve been feeling disgusting recently, I don’t know what it is. I’ve always been slim but recently I’ve been feeling wobbly and just not attractive at all. I’ve voiced this to my DH (of 4 years) who’s told me I’ve not put on weight or anything.

Sex has been a big part of our relationship but I feel like it’s dwindling. We used to have sex daily but now it’s about twice a week, which is fine. I’d like more but don’t want to pressure him.

DH has an addiction to weed and constantly needs it to function. He will smoke at night and spend hours in the garden doing so.

Anyway tonight when we were cuddling on the couch I started kissing him and touching his clothes. He said “hurry up then I need to go to the shop” (I’m not stupid, the “shop” is outside for a spliff or 3). he took his clothes off and just kind of sat there. I said I didn’t feel in the mood now.

he’s in the garden smoking and I’m just sitting here feeling like an idiot. I’m only 30 but feel so undesirable and like I’m throwing myself at my own husband.

husband said I’m overreacting - am I ? Would anyone else be upset with this comment?

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 05/07/2026 22:09

I couldnt be with somebody who smoked weed. He sounds awful.

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 05/07/2026 22:08

You’re not the undesirable one in this situation. He sounds fucking grim, sorry.

I couldn’t respect or feel any attraction to a grown man who’s addicted to weed 🤢.

Please don’t waste the best years of your one precious life on this loser.

anonymoususer9876 · 05/07/2026 22:07

Yes, I’d be upset too. But as you admitted he has an addiction, you and your feelings won’t be his priority.

If I were in your shoes I’d be thinking if this was worth it. It’s not really going to change, and if you want your own family, I’d seriously consider leaving the marriage.

Swipe left for the next trending thread