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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU after being reported for apparently targeting a member of staff

504 replies

Vintageshirtsearch · 05/07/2026 21:25

OK no one is going to believe this to be true but I need to share it. I was spoken to today by my line manager as I've been reported in our 'call it out' policy. I made a member of staff feel targeted and picked on.
I bet you won't be able to guess what I did that made them feel so bad.
It's so crackers I actually thought my manager was joking.
Anyone want to guess?

OP posts:
PeoplesNet · 06/07/2026 22:31

Vintageshirtsearch · 05/07/2026 21:25

OK no one is going to believe this to be true but I need to share it. I was spoken to today by my line manager as I've been reported in our 'call it out' policy. I made a member of staff feel targeted and picked on.
I bet you won't be able to guess what I did that made them feel so bad.
It's so crackers I actually thought my manager was joking.
Anyone want to guess?

Please add the answer to your original post - that shit is INSANITY - is it really that you said you didn't understand the hype of TS??? It can't be. I would have raised a grievance against anyone who tried to 'pull me up' for expressing a basic opinion at work. Freedom of speech and it sounds like you were on your break too. Ask HR for an itemised list of acceptable work conversations because you're now terrified of speaking. Ffs.

ERthree · 06/07/2026 22:31

Our country is doomed if we have such wet wipes.

ImogenBrocklehurst · 06/07/2026 22:27

RosalieRosa · 05/07/2026 21:53

Based on this thread, I am wondering if you get through your life by laughing at it. You did it with your colleague and you did it with this thread. I have a tendency to sometimes find a way to laugh at things to make myself feel better too.

But this can be interpreted by some people to mean that you are snarky or nihilistic and someone not to be taken seriously. Which isn't great!

Anyway, I am not a swifty or anything but I wouldn't slag her off at work, even though what you said really wasn't that bad at all. It was probably just your tone

Oh FFS. A random comment about celebrity wedding makes the OP “snarky or nihilistic”? What rubbish.

Original poster
Vintageshirtsearch · 06/07/2026 22:25

PeoplesNet · 06/07/2026 22:23

You called them son?

Show quote history

Eh?

OP posts:
PeoplesNet · 06/07/2026 22:23

Vintageshirtsearch · 05/07/2026 21:29

No one is right yet.
I don't want to be annoying and drag it out but it's so much less than anything mentioned so far
The complaining person is 30 and I am 50 so both adults.

You called them son?

LilySLE · 06/07/2026 22:12

WoollyandSarah · 05/07/2026 22:22

Bad luck for you that being a Taylor Swift fan has recently been made a protected characteristic.

This wins the internet!

AgingLikeGazpacho · 06/07/2026 22:12

Footage of OP in the tea room harassing Taylor Swift

Interrupting Taylor Swift GIF
Itsthewoluff · 06/07/2026 22:09

I’m so glad I’m retired if this is what’s happening in the world of work now!

Catdaddy1978 · 06/07/2026 22:06

Vintageshirtsearch · 05/07/2026 21:25

OK no one is going to believe this to be true but I need to share it. I was spoken to today by my line manager as I've been reported in our 'call it out' policy. I made a member of staff feel targeted and picked on.
I bet you won't be able to guess what I did that made them feel so bad.
It's so crackers I actually thought my manager was joking.
Anyone want to guess?

If it makes you feel any better, in my last teaching job I made a light-hearted joke about how terrible the coffee was in the staffroom. I had not one, not two, but THREE meetings about my 'negative attitude' with my line manager, her line manager and the recruiter who got me the job. The coffee was the worst, cheapest instant catering rubbish you could get and since it was in the midst of lockdown we were banned from bringing our own coffee in. I then got reprimanded for being late for school because I used to sit in my car until the bell went with decent coffee because I hated hearing all the unhappy staff complaining about everything. It was the first in a number of problems in an academy that was an absolute mess. Needless to say, I walked before my first term there was up.

Original poster
Vintageshirtsearch · 06/07/2026 22:05

Radicalrach · 06/07/2026 22:02

Did she ask you their name at least?

Show quote history

No it didn't come up actually and I didn't think about it

OP posts:
DreamTheMoors · 06/07/2026 22:03

Vintageshirtsearch · 06/07/2026 20:48

I never knew this until this happened!

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I was being terribly awfully horribly sarcastic.
She should be called a “Softie.”

Radicalrach · 06/07/2026 22:02

Vintageshirtsearch · 06/07/2026 22:00

🤷‍♀️

Show quote history

Did she ask you their name at least?

Original poster
Vintageshirtsearch · 06/07/2026 22:00

Radicalrach · 06/07/2026 21:58

Agreed
but your version is just you agreeing with someone
and yet your line manager didn’t ask any questions abut the main perpetrator who hasn’t been reported?!

Show quote history

🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Radicalrach · 06/07/2026 21:58

Vintageshirtsearch · 06/07/2026 21:45

It's all crazy . It was literally a cuppa making length conversation, even shorter than that as I also talked to my male colleague about being tired and my hay-fever playing up!
Complainer is 30

Show quote history

Agreed
but your version is just you agreeing with someone
and yet your line manager didn’t ask any questions abut the main perpetrator who hasn’t been reported?!

Charlize43 · 06/07/2026 21:46

People are very odd. It reminds me of when I joined MN and one of the first posts I read was from a woman who felt 'violated' because a man had said 'good morning' when getting on a train carriage. Some people take offence at anything!

You co-worker sounds like she's a very hard-core Taylor swift fan if she took offence.

Original poster
Vintageshirtsearch · 06/07/2026 21:45

Radicalrach · 06/07/2026 21:29

how old is the complainer?

and your line manager isn’t perplexed by your version whereby you are simply agreeing with someone - and the main perpetrator has not been complained about?

Edited
Show quote history

It's all crazy . It was literally a cuppa making length conversation, even shorter than that as I also talked to my male colleague about being tired and my hay-fever playing up!
Complainer is 30

OP posts:
Radicalrach · 06/07/2026 21:29

Vintageshirtsearch · 06/07/2026 21:27

🤷‍♀️ I think this is pretty standard . Middle aged women take a lot of people's rage

Show quote history

how old is the complainer?

and your line manager isn’t perplexed by your version whereby you are simply agreeing with someone - and the main perpetrator has not been complained about?

Original poster
Vintageshirtsearch · 06/07/2026 21:27

Radicalrach · 06/07/2026 21:25

Very odd that she singled you out despite hardly knowing you
but didn’t do a thing about him

Show quote history

🤷‍♀️ I think this is pretty standard . Middle aged women take a lot of people's rage

OP posts:
Radicalrach · 06/07/2026 21:25

Vintageshirtsearch · 06/07/2026 21:24

No. It was a very quick chat. Bloke on tea break with me I know slightly more but not friends just friendly colleagues

Show quote history

Very odd that she singled you out despite hardly knowing you
but didn’t do a thing about him

Original poster
Vintageshirtsearch · 06/07/2026 21:24

Radicalrach · 06/07/2026 21:23

and the colleague you were agreeing with? Friends?

did the line manager not express surprise that only You had been reported?

Edited
Show quote history

No. It was a very quick chat. Bloke on tea break with me I know slightly more but not friends just friendly colleagues

OP posts:
Radicalrach · 06/07/2026 21:23

Vintageshirtsearch · 06/07/2026 21:21

Hardly know her. Very rarely on shift with her.

Show quote history

and the colleague you were agreeing with? Friends?

did the line manager not express surprise that only You had been reported?

Original poster
Vintageshirtsearch · 06/07/2026 21:21

Radicalrach · 06/07/2026 21:19

But in the complaint - it was only about you and didn’t make any reference to anyone else? Wasn’t the line manger intrigued why only you’d been reported when she heard your version? this is so odd! What’s your relationship like with the complainer?

Show quote history

Hardly know her. Very rarely on shift with her.

OP posts:
Radicalrach · 06/07/2026 21:20

DontDareCallMeDarling · 06/07/2026 21:18

Being forced to listen to Taylor Swift I imagine.

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oof that’s brave of you!!

Radicalrach · 06/07/2026 21:19

Vintageshirtsearch · 06/07/2026 21:17

I don't think he was reported. Dunno if complainer has mentioned. I think if she had, others would have said it was silly as we are a down to earth bunch

But in the complaint - it was only about you and didn’t make any reference to anyone else? Wasn’t the line manger intrigued why only you’d been reported when she heard your version? this is so odd! What’s your relationship like with the complainer?

DontDareCallMeDarling · 06/07/2026 21:18

Radicalrach · 06/07/2026 19:20

So you’ve been reported… what’s the next step? Any “punishment”?

Being forced to listen to Taylor Swift I imagine.