AIBU to feel hurt by DH laughing at my small weight loss?

I’ve never had a big loss, I don’t think it’s as common as you’d expect. In a consistent calorie deficit I usually lose a pound a week and that goes up and down each day, but comes to a pound at the end of the week. So I think a small loss is not an issue, consistency will mean in 3 months you’ll have lost about a stone at that rate. Slow and steady is still worthwhile. So I wouldn’t worry about what he says, stick to your guns and imagine how much better your clothes will feel in a few weeks. If he isn’t interested then I would try not to say anything else, the results will speak for themselves and you will have the last laugh. Hurtful comments can be motivating if you want them to be.

What an arse he is. Any decent partner would be encouraging you and celebrating any loss, no matter how small. Keep up the good work OP. Maybe tell him less to avoid his childish reactions. Don't let him derail you.

He shouldn’t have laughed but people can become diet bores and if you then only lost a couple of hundred grammes this may be why he reacted like this. I’d say nothing now and casually announce you’ve lost a stone in 6 weeks time.

You've been careful with what you eat for a week? Sorry but I'd probably laugh at you thinking you've lost weight too.

To lose 5lbs of fat she’d need to have been in a deficit of 17,500 calories within a week. As the average woman’s intake should be 14,000 ish to maintain that wouldn’t be possible for the majority of humans.

You watched what you ate for a WEEK and expected more significant results….

Have you looked into the realistic results of weight-loss? You should probably do this to avoid unnecessary disappointment. It’s bloody hard for most people and can take weeks and months for people to see a visual change. Don’t set unrealistic expectations for yourself or you’ll naturally be disappointed. Good luck

. Yes your weight fluctuates naturally, BOTH ways. OP could have lost 5lbs fat but is premestrual so bloated and carrying water weight so naturally 3lbs heavier. She'd only see a 2lb loss on the scales. But it is most definitely a loss.

My best advice for anyone losing weight is to weigh LESS often. 2lb weight loss in a week is a good healthy loss but it doesn't feel it. Weight loss is slow that's why there's so many fad diets and tricks and medications. It is hard and slow so people "cheat" then you compare yourself to those people or those, like myself in the past, that go to such extreme lengths. I would be pissed if I didn't lose 2lb A DAY, it is not healthy. Nor sustainable.

Stop watching the scales.

He shouldn’t have been smug and should support you but equally a week isn’t enough to do anything really… what did you expect in 7 days? Try not to pin so much on an unrealistic time frame.

'Just' 2 pounds? That's a pretty good weight loss. The first week it may be more, but 2 pounds week after week will get you there.

Of course it is. Many people, in particular those who have lots to lose can easily lose more than that in their first week of a strict diet. After that 0.5-1% of bodyweight is a healthy amount to lose each week.

My BMI was 28 when I started my diet and I lost 6lb the 1st week and 4lb the next week, it slowed after that but for the next 5 months it worked out I lost an average of 2lb a week. My mum started dieting same time and her BMI quite a bit higher than mine, she put on weight the 1st week and stayed the same the 2nd, she still lost a similar amount to me in the end. Everyone is different.

@Throwawayquestioning my husband has been less than supportive, I am quite bitter about it, not once has he commented positively (or even negatively) just ignored the fact I have gone from BMI 28 to BMI 19! He is now dieting himself, I may well give him the same level of support he gave me, i doubt it though as its bloody hurtful. A loss is a loss, and quite often people dont lose for a week or two then have a big 'whoosh'. Keep going, if its not what you are expecting in a few weeks just make sure you are weighing/logging food and check your TDEE etc.

You mean a loss of less than 4lb MAY not be a fat loss. A decrease of 1lb could be that a person has not lost any fat and is just carrying a lb less of water. It could also be that for their first measurement they were carrying less water and actually they've gained 2lbs of water and lost 3lbs of fat.

Is your husband a healthy weight OP?

Neither big nor clever.

I just wouldn’t tell him anything important to you anymore.

I’d recommend keeping your dietary day in and day out info to yourself. It’s quite tedious to hear about it tbh.
Keep going, a lb off is a lb off. It’s not going on - therefore you’re off to a good start.
you don’t need his validation to be successful, you are doing that on your own. And well done to you.

This 💯.
Shitty remark

Well done for the loss.

however it does really piss me off when people diet and they feel the need to “keep me updated”.

I also hate the use of “being good” when referring to food as it suggests anyone not controlling what they eat, allowing themselves treats etc is “bad”.

Shut up about your diet. It’s boring to anyone but you, and can be triggering to other people. Even if they are healthy and don’t need to lose weight, the whole talk about “being good” , what you should or shouldn’t be eating gets into your brain.

Dont keep him updated at all from now on. If he does actually ask play it down, over time you will lose more as you plan. See is reaction when hes sees it and that you dont need his input at all.

Recommended weight loss is 1-2 lbs a week.

I’ll take any loss - even half a pound a week, every week, is progress because it’s 26pounds over a year which is almost 2 stone.

Other people’s weight loss is tedious, just get on with it.

your husband could be an asshole but for this YABU

Well, using that logic the OP could have put on 3lbs of water weight and lost 4lbs of fat, for example. And so had a small loss overall of 1lb. So your dig at OP doesn’t really work anyway.

Ok a lot of people have validated you here and said your DH was being a dick. I'm not sure I agree. On the one hand, you're the only one who knows the wider context of what he's like; if he seems generally dismissive or contemptuous of you, or generally doesn't care much about your feelings, this would strongly support the 'dick' interpretation. On the other, if he's usually pretty supportive and kind then his reaction sounds more like it was a bit insensitive / thoughtless but lot exactly horrible.

One thing I have learned - from my own weight loss struggles and from being around other people's - is that someone talking about their weight, their health, their difficulties resisting temptation, their hunger, their annoyance about not being able to eat what they want, etc etc, is basically incredibly boring. It's also quite anxiety-provoking as when I'm around someone else who I know is trying to lose weight, and who keeps talking about it, that can make it hard for me to relax and enjoy my food. Is there a chance that your DH was having a bit of a silly reaction to the anticlimax of your talking about food so much in the past week and then actually not achieving your goal?

Of course you should get to talk about it to an extent, because he's your DH and hopefully you love and support one another. But did you maybe talk about it too much?

It's for this reason that weight loss support groups are so great (if they're based on a sensible plan and have lovely people in them, anyway). In my experience a space where everyone is focused on talking about food and can share their struggles means I don't feel the need to discuss it with my DH or anyone else in my personal life. After all, quite apart from not wanting to be dull, I also don't want to talk about food so much that other people will be noticing what I eat and policing it, criticising it etc, which I think is unfortunately often an unintended consequence of drawing other people's attention to out diet a lot.

Comgratulations on what you did lose, by the way, and really good luck with whatever your goals are, because this stuff is stressful and difficult and it is totally understandable to feel sad when you're trying hard and it hasn't gone how you want.

Yes, I agree. It’s a marathon or a lifestyle change so motivation to make changes you can stick with is key.

It’s about trajectory. Is the lowest weight getting lower. Also, just stay motivated however you can.

Keep doing what you are doing but don’t share your achievements. Do it for yourself and your children.