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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would this put you off your partner?

88 replies

Heudb · 05/07/2026 15:59

I am not sure whether to treat this as a drunken comment or something a bit more sinister. Early hours of this morning with my boyfriend, waiting for a taxi after a night out. He suggested getting a kebab - I said I was never keen on these as I was worried what was in the meat. He said that never concerned him as he ‘used to eat the arses of women he’d just met on nights out’ so he wasn’t screamish about kebabs. I told him I found the comment disgusting and he did apologise and said it was many years ago.

I find it immature at best. He’s early 30’s now!

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 05/07/2026 16:24

It's not remotely 'sinister' - it's crass.

chocoluv · 05/07/2026 16:22

I don’t understand why this would upset you.

Is it that he had sexual contact with women before he met you or the wording he used?

Either way, this is a you issue.
Just ask him to not bring it up again because it upsets you for X, Y, Z reasons and then move on.

Nearly50omg · 05/07/2026 16:22

I’d be having a lot of STI tests after that comment!!🤢🤢🤮

SerendipityCat · 05/07/2026 16:21

Oh God, not another fucking neanderthal. Is this the same guy who talked about a "whiffy growler"? I'm pushing 70 and not particularly squeamish, but talk of "eating arses" makes me want to throw up. And there'd be no coming back from the ick if it was said to me. Sorry, OP.

LoafofSellotape · 05/07/2026 16:13

Screamish 😂 it would make me scream too !

That would give me the massive ick

Womanofcustard · 05/07/2026 16:09

Makes me think of that Kenyon, Reform candidate, and his comments about Carol Vorderman’s anus.
I think I would dump him tbh.

pastadish · 05/07/2026 16:09

Well many years ago that’s what he did. He didn’t know you then so what he did shouldn’t concern you.
Howe the comment is not something you’d say to a current girlfriend. Who knows what all my husband did before I met him but he wouldn’t tell me in that manner.

SapphireSteel28 · 05/07/2026 16:07

Yes, that would turn my stomach.

DontGoChasinWaterfalls · 05/07/2026 16:06

I just vomited in my own mouth. It's a no from me.

Heudb · 05/07/2026 16:05

IeatPotNoodles · 05/07/2026 16:04

Everyone has a past and as long as it was consensual why should he be ashamed of his. The comment itself is very crass and I can understand that would have been shocking initially. But I think it’s quite funny the more I think of it.

Yeah I know everyone has a past I just found that such a horrible term and unnecessary to bring up after a night out.

OP posts:
Evaka · 05/07/2026 16:05

Ughhhhh, that's stomach churning.

IeatPotNoodles · 05/07/2026 16:04

Everyone has a past and as long as it was consensual why should he be ashamed of his. The comment itself is very crass and I can understand that would have been shocking initially. But I think it’s quite funny the more I think of it.

IglesiasPiggl · 05/07/2026 16:02

Yeah that's pretty grim and would put me off him. If we're also being pedantic, I assume he didn't literally ingest those!

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