AIBU to feel upset when my teenager hates our family holiday?

Tough as it is, just have as much fun as you can and try not to notice the teenaged behaviour. If she's just finished GCSEs she may be panicking about her results.

I had a terrible holiday with DD1 post A-levels b/c she was v worried about her results. She said she wanted to come ... (fortunately, she earned the grades and has had a great year at university)

Even when they say they want to come, I'm not convinced teens always do. I think a lot of it might be FOMO or uncertainty about what they'd do otherwise: not quite ready to stay home alone but not able to enjoy a family holiday like they used to.

I’d assume it’s hormones and she can’t help it.

Tell her how you feel. That you can't afford many holidays and you were looking forward to enjoying it with her but her behaviour is spoiling it for you, She's plenty old enough to take onboard how her actions affect other people.

Have you checked with her what the issue is about going in the pool? Could be period or body confidence?

You're not the only one. DS1 is 18 and has been bloody awful to holiday with at least some of the time since he was 13. There are occasional holidays that he enjoys and is a joy to be around, we had one last October that was great, but at new year we had an absolutely awful week during which he kept begging to be allowed to leave and come home.

He's due to come with us for two weeks in August (planned and booked last autumn) and I'm praying he doesn't ruin it, because it will be my first break for 7.5 months and I really need it. DH is determined that this will be his last holiday with us and if he's a miserable git in August then it will!

I’d let her know the impact her behaviour is having on the family and leave her in peace to consider how she behaves moving forward. If there’s something she wants to do she needs to let you know but sitting with a face on all holiday is a no.

I read a lot about “that’s normal teen behaviour” on mn and I’m genuinely baffled by the behaviour mn puts up with. While I agree some teens can be like this, you’re absolutely fine to tell them to buck up their ideas and reconsider their behaviour. (Mum of 3 teen DDs).

I don’t have teenagers, but from what I hear this is pretty common sadly
my 5 year old is already putting me through this, never ending whinging and misery when away for an expensive holiday we can barely afford (but have scrimped and saved to do ‘for memories’)

We try to start trips with our expectations on the floor, but even then sometimes I’m disappointed because clearly expectations not low enough!
I think sadly it’s just something you have to expect and then just try and enjoy whatever parts you can around it. I think after the event you forget some of their misery and will take away a few little happy memories … so hopefully that’s the case for you

Just back from a few days abroad just me with my DD post-GCSE. Was quite tough as they’ve been under so much stress, and they’re at an age where friends are very important. Also they still need nagging re drinking water/staying in shade/sun cream etc (well mine did!), it’s a difficult age.
first couple of days were tough but we found our stride on the last day and that was enough to make it a ‘success’. It was when I stopped trying to make it perfect for her.
They’re moody at this age. I’d say just let her be, you can’t control their moods. Tbh she’ll probably be telling everyone she has a great time once you’re back!

First post nails it.
Tell her to have a think about her behaviour. Ask if there’s anything she’d like to do. If not, get on with your holiday without her.

I know it's hard but its unfortunately typical teenage behaviour. I came across my teenage diaries recently and came across entries from our family holiday to Florida which no doubt cost my parents a small fortune yet I wrote pages and pages of whingeing of how my hair straighteners didn't work, moans about my parents and wishing I was at home with my friends.

We've had much more enjoyable holidays as adults together! Try not to take it too personally

Did you actually read the OP's post where she said her DD helped choose the holiday

Given she wanted to go I’d tell get straight how frustrating this is, your hard earned money etc. Then enjoy your holiday. My DC was annoying on one trip. I then laid down boundaries in advance an let him choose to come or not.

Leave her to it.
She can fester in her hotel room the whole time or whatever, then.
Enjoy your holiday.
Don't let her spoil it.