AIBU to feel upset when my teenager hates our family holiday?

I don't think it's unreasonable to feel upset, but is there anything she would prefer to do? Maybe take her shopping or in to the next city for the day? I love the idea of a day by the pool so probably would agree to it being part of our days, but in actuality I always hate doing it for longer than an hour or so.
I know you can't change it now but I always go away with my son these days because we prefer to mooch round museums and stuff so take city based holidays, my husband and daughter book themselves a boozy sun bed based holiday. I wish we had done it when they were younger because someone was always miserable on our big family holidays, and you are right, it puts a dampner on things.

My teens don’t so that so I’d be tempted to ask her what was up if this is unusual behaviour? Unless she’s a sulky mare most of the time any way? In which case - leave her to it.
we do grp holidays with the same 5 families every year or so and there’s one teen who’s an absolute misery but we all just leave him to it. He’s too young to be trusted alone at home so he comes.
Can’t wait til the little fucker can be left behind!

You’re not alone. I had the same with mine a few year’s ago and as a single mum I can’t pretend it didn’t hurt at the time but I just let it be and got on with holiday anyway. They are normally really good kids (well adults now) so I tried to not take it personally. When I was a teen I was being sulky on our first family holiday abroad and my mum slapped me 😱 It was the 70s though so a case of ‘nothing to see here’.

She’s a teenager, of course she’s moody and sulky, and you certainly shouldn’t take it personally. Enjoy your holiday and let her know she’s welcome to join in whenever she’s ready.

Everyone can help it. Hormones or not

Teenagers hate everything. Its just not cool to be around your parents at that age.
Leave her to stew

I’d be telling her how ungrateful she is and that she better either straighten her face or stay away from me. Sorry, I’m not a fan of laying on a guilt trip but for me this is unacceptable. If she’s finishing GCSE’s she must be, what 15? Nah, not on. If she can’t find something to do that she enjoys she can stay in the room well away from the others who don’t want to see her miserable coupon.

OP it is not you.
Sometimes they just are a bit moody, she could be exam exhausted.
Take her aside and tell her that whilst it's perfectly fine to not want to go in the pool, her slap arse face is very upsetting considering this is her choice of holiday.
Ask her is something upsetting her? If she's say no, then ask her to give the sour face a rest.

I think its ok that she wants to spend her time as she wants.

Ds1 went through phrase like this. He sighed at everything and everything was too much harmed work. I tried to be up beat but int end he was told to 'put your bloody face straight, it looks like shaped arae and everything doesn't revolve around you' Thungs improved two years later!!

Surprised at everyone’s memories of being a cow on holidays at this age. I remember being a teen on family hols as great times- making friends, flirting with Spanish boys, getting tipsy on sangria. I was old enough to have a bit of freedom- go off alone shopping or exploring but with the security of having my family abroad with me. For me, those hols were a first taste of freedom and were dead exciting!

It’s tough. But lots of teens don’t want to be on holiday with their parents and they’re allowed to be capricious. I just leave her to her hormonal wallowing.

We have the opposite problem in that we can’t seem to shake off our children wanting to come on holiday with us - and they’re in their 20s! Now we’re having to invite the girlfriends as well - it’s all becoming extraordinarily expensive 😂

Why the lack of curiosity OP?

At that age I was putting on a brave face as the boy I "loved" had moved away and I'd never see him again, I felt catastrophically fat and spotty, and there was uncertainty about where I was going to go for 6th form. I needed a hug.

My best friend was beside herself with fear that summer as she was very bright and had expectations from everyone that her results would be brilliant.

Other friends were going through eating disorders or self harm at that age (which we hid from our parents). You never know what's going on. Unless she's being really rude, I'd stay patient and warm towards her, and hope she opens up.

Say to her that you've noticed she's not enjoying herself much, but you're here for the week and it's not going to go by any faster sitting around miserable. So, is there anything she fancies doing to pass the time. There's usually loads of things to try out from buggies to boat trips, shopping, jeep safaris. Got to be something you could have some fun doing.
Hopefully she will at least meet you half way and agree an activity or two.
If she doesn't then I'd ignore her. She is a teen, not a child, and old enough to make an effort. If she chooses not to, that's on her.

You are not alone. We had this from DD age 14 to 17, and when she got more pleasant on holiday, DS decided it was his turn to be a nightmare. We are getting to year 6 of one of them being awful and sulking, so this year DH and I have gone away alone. Way cheaper and infinitely more pleasant.

This is very normal indeed for a teenager, especially post-exams. Hormones all over the place - adolescent ones and stress ones - and at that age they're also at the point where they want to be with their friends more than their family. She's probably feeling burnt out and worried about her results and all manner of other emotions. She's also got a big change ahead of her if she's soon to start sixth form or college or whatever. Yes, it's annoying for you, but do rest assured that it's very normal indeed. There's a reason teenagers get stereotyped as moody - it's because they often are.

I'm not really sure why it matters to you that she doesn't want to go in the pool. It's not compulsory, surely! If she wants to sit there glued to her phone instead of swimming, that doesn't stop you from using the pool.

I'd also add that teenagers are sometimes very self-conscious about their bodies or anxious about swimming with a period and so on, so it's possible she just doesn't feel like it for that reason.

Have you asked her if she’s ok and what’s going on ?

Unless she’s normally a moody pain the backside - I think it would be reasonable to gently speak to her to find out what’s going on before assuming it’s because she’s a teenager.

We went on a holiday when our daughter was 16, exactly the same, GCSEs done, and grumpy 80% of the time just wanting to sit festering and had to be dragged to do stuff. Fast forward 2-3 years and out of nowhere she started talking about “oh what a great time we had in XXXX and we did this that and the other and wasn’t it wonderful…what a great holiday we had…” 😵‍💫😅 🤷🏻‍♀️
I know it’s much easier said than done but I suppose try not to take it personally in the only way to deal with it.

So have you asked what her problem is?

Our Dd17 basically sits in the hotel room and only joins us for food or activities that cost a lot of cash. This year we've left her at home and brought dd2s friend instead. Dd15 also had a bit of a strop the other night as it was past her bedtime (she's an early nighter, this was about 830), so we papped her off and went out with her friend and our dts.

If they wanna sit on their arses bored in a room then they can stay at home.

I think the problem with teens is also that it's much easier to make pals on holiday when you're little or an adult, awkward teen years, not so much.

You are not the only one. My sons are adults now, but I remember on one holiday that they were so miserable arguing constantly that I locked them all out of the house and didn't speak to them for a whole day. Not my finest parenting moment but I was at the end of my tether.

I didn't enjoy all the family holidays when I was a teenager. Looking back wasn't all my fault. Our family just couldn't handle so much togetherness. As soon as my sister and I were old enough to be left alone my parents just took the younger ones and left us home and we threw parties they pretended not to know about.
It was a lot more fun for everyone.

Can’t believe all the ‘leave her to it’ posts! I have 2 teen DDs and would be absolutely livid if they were entitled enough to sulk and ruin a holiday like that! I’d have a long chat about her behaviour and how unacceptable it is, and then leave her to stew, while the rest of us got on with enjoying ourselves.

My mum favours this type of holiday and I always detested them so I would be miserable all week as a result. Probably seemed ungrateful but I just hated sitting around all day by a pool and much preferred holidays with my dad sightseeing and absorbing culture. She may just be shit bored

The holidays where my young teen children have been horrors, they now recall with fondness a few years on, it's almost like they forget they were arseholes and remember the good bits, thankfully.

This year we are all off again to lovely Italy and i will ignore their moans, let them use all their data, sit indoors if they want on 'chill out' days and my husband and I will enjoy ourselves.

Do not do this. Try to find out what’s wrong. Clearly she picked the holiday and was excited for it so something must be wrong.

she might be anxious/ worried over results etc. telling someone to be greatful for a holiday is not the thing to do in this situation! Find the root cause.