AIBU to feel upset when my teenager hates our family holiday?

I have a teenage son who would rather spend his time gaming so holidays can be tricky for him though he does try to join in - up to a point. My teenage daughter wants to 'do all the things' on holiday - often having been seduced by vlogs on social media - that can be exhausting if we want to have a lazy day as that would be wasting an opportunity.

difficult age - they can be shattered & moody after GCSEs and sometimes need to be left to chill

Can you just leave her to it and go off and do your own thing? Mine are all 7 and under and holidays are hard work so I'm looking forward to a time when I can relax a bit more on holiday but the responses on this thread are not giving me much hope 😆

We never went on any sort of break when I was a kid/teen because my parents just couldn't afford it. The most we got was staying round a cousin's house in London but even then we were cooped up inside. I would have absolutely loved to have gone away and I am sure there are many who would jump at a chance to be in her shoes. Hope she cheers up soon. If not crack on with your holiday and leave her to it!

I HATED holidays with my parents. I used to beg them to let me stay with my grandma. It was mainly my dad who made me hate it. Walking for miles and miles on end and stopping at every single bar along the way for a beer that he'd take forever to drink. Making up get up at 7:30am every morning for breakfast regardless of how late we had been forced to stay out.
4 days into a two week holiday in Tenerife when I was 17 I actually begged to be sent home. And they let me and never took me again.

Who else is on the holiday with you both?

My son is 15, and I haven't experienced this type of behaviour. Honestly, I would be annoyed, especially as your daughter helped choose the holiday. By all means check on her to see if there's any particular worries. I'd be being blunt...I can't afford holidays abroad every year, you helped choose this particular holiday, and now you're walking around with a face like thunder. If you want to sit in the hotel room festering, that's your choice but you aren't behaving like an ungrateful brat and spoiling the holiday for others.

If it was my son, he'd be read the riot act. I was never ungrateful for the holidays I went on as a child. Sometimes it was abroad but mostly in the UK. I wouldn't have dared to have behaved in such an ungrateful way, especially if I knew my parents couldn't afford much.

I remember a holiday from hell in Venice. 12 y.o. DS lobed every bit of it, 14 year old DD was a disaster to be with. She grew out of it, and even volunteered to come with us on later travels 🤦🏼‍♀️

You're not. Ignore the face and enjoy your holiday.

My 16 year old refused to come on beach holiday to Africa, for some reason.

I managed to get hotel refund if £700 and me and 18 year old went instead.

Let it wash off you like water off a ducks back. That’s just a teenager being a teenager. Wait until you overhear her talking about it to grandma and it will sound like an amazing holiday you wish you could have been on. 🙄

My daughter did this at the same kind of age. We just left her in the room and cracked on! Last holiday we did with them was a city break worked out well for all. Try not to let it ruin the holiday for everyone else

I just had the same thing. I hear you.

Just say that she is spoiling the holiday and is there anything in particular that is wrong that can be altered in some way. If she says no just explain that in that case you (?and her dad) will be going off and doing your own thing.
Give her some rules to follow while you are out.

Fantastic! A bit of R&R does the world of good.

Some of you have really set the bar low. This is not appropriate behaviour. It is rude, entitled and ungrateful.

Oh god. You are definitely not the only one. I remember this well, as a single cash strapped parent it was very hard to take.. x

I tell all I know … ( mother of 2 sons in their 30s) don’t take teens on holiday if you can leave them with trusted family members or friends … seriously .. we learned this the hard way. Sometimes you have to .. and if you do you do … we have 5 beautiful grandsons now 🤣so you know lol
please don’t think it’s just you ..I feel it’s likely very common

Oh god OP I was that teenager! Family holiday after GCSEs I sulked so much they sent me home.

All I can say is mum, dad, I am so sorry.

It was all just teenage angst (I had an unrequited love for some boy who's name I don't even remember now) and I grew into a nice person and have been close to my parents since. I have apologized a zillion times and made it up to them in multiple ways.

Hang in there!!!

Body conscience and on her period. Poor kid

Leave her to it, at her age it's her own fault if she chooses to sulk, don't let it spoil your fun

This would have been me back in the day. I just didn't want to be there. I was not a happy teen.

Sorry it's spoiling your fun. She'll more than likely grow out of it. And when she's older, will reflect on it and probably feel like a bit of a dick. I know I do. 😬I realise that's not much comfort now though. Try your best to ignore her.

Is there a particular reason she has to get into a pool she doesn’t want to go in? If it’s because you’ve spent a lot of money, you won’t get a refund if she swims. She’s a teenager with hormones at a crossroads in life where she’s just finished the only thing she’s ever known (school) and is waiting on results that she will perceive as determining her entire future (as that’s what she’ll have been told repeatedly through school and society) and away from all her peers who are going through the same thing and who she may never see again after this summer. Of course she feels a bit out of sorts and her emotions are leaving her feeling miserable. That doesn’t mean she should ruin it for everyone else but cut her some slack and don’t force her to do activities she’s not feeling. She’ll look back and be grateful for this holiday when she’s older and life is a bit more settled than it is right now. Imagine if you’d just gone through a life altering event, you might not feel like splashing around in a pool either.

Our teenagers loved family holidays. We must have been lucky.

Enjoy your holiday. It’s very common. They usually want different things/people. It can feel hurtful, but it isn’t. It’s a phase. The key is to extract as much enjoyment as you can.