AIBU to feel upset when my teenager hates our family holiday?

I can remember being like this at around 15 we were in Spain and I sat and watched mtv for most of the week sulking in the apartment 🤣🤣🤣 don’t know what my problem was tbh

my younger sister and parents just got on with it went to the pool and did activities and slagged me off a bit !

I stayed at home for a week when I was 16 with my 20 year old sibling while my parents went to Greece for a week. And when I was 13, my sibling who would have been 17 stayed at home when we went to Majorca.

I'm not sure what the problem is. So unbothered and untraumatised I am by it, I'd completely forgotten i had stayed at home and only realised when I came across my parents holiday photos a few years ago!

Typical teenager; as awful as it sounds; just ignore her; offer for her to join in if she says no just leave it; walk away & leave her doing her own thing go & enjoy what you’ve chosen to do; ask her to join you at mealtime & again if she's says no leave her once she realises she’s not getting your attention & your not upset she might grow up & join in

Don’t take it personally.

She’s at the awkward age where it’s incredibly uncool and boring spending a holiday with parents, but obviously too young to go abroad with friends.

Just let her sit around with a face like a slapped arse. Don’t force her to go in the pool if she doesn’t want to. Just let her chill.

She might be feeling stressed about waiting for her results, to add to the usual teenage angst.

You stayed at home whilst your family went on holiday?

my brother and I were cut off from family holidays at 16 for this exact reason.

Our daughter, then 14 or possibly 13, spent almost the whole time in her villa room, making a horrific mess with her clothes and throwing rubbish on her own bath room floor, until I found it all and tidied up, before the visiting maid service saw.

About two days before we were due to leave, we’d been there for 2 weeks ( huge lovely villa with pool) she complained that she hadn’t got a tan, and needed to get one. !

She’s grown up to be a great, if messy, woman . 😂

Let her get on with it, and enjoy your holiday.

It's par for the course OP I'm afraid. I called it a day after mine started this behaviour. I took them to a kids holiday camp and then went off, as a single mum, exploring Greek Islands with a girlfriend. They loved their holiday and so did I.

Im a granny now and this was in the 90s. Not sure whether those holiday camps still exist these days.

I remember years ago I was like this and my dad lost his temperature and basically made me see what an ungrateful little shit i was being. He was right and I came round!

Went away a few years ago and eldest -15 - was absolutely miserable the entire time. Only emerged at 4pm to eat chips and play bingo. Thankfully the younger two enjoyed the holiday whilst their brother would sit on a sun lounger, fully clothed and ask to go ‘back to the room’ once he’d been fed and watered.

We were recently reminiscing about family holidays and now 18 yo so referred to that holiday as ‘one of the best ones ever.’ Apparently it was a great resort
and he’d happily return 🤷‍♀️

Hard as it is, try not to take it to heart. She's a teenager and this is their thing. Believe me in a few years after she's had holidays with friends and realises the cost of everything, she'll be begging to go away with you! 😆

You're definitely not the only one! Teenagers can be so unpredictable, and sometimes the reality of a holiday just doesn't match what they imagined.
Try not to take it personally. The fact that she wanted to go when you booked it doesn't mean she isn't enjoying parts of it, it just might not show in the way you'd expect. Hormones, tiredness after GCSEs, the heat, or simply being out of her usual routine can all make teenagers seem grumpy.
I'd be inclined to give her a bit of space rather than trying to persuade her to enjoy herself. Quite often they come round in their own time.
And if she doesn't? That doesn't mean you've failed or chosen the wrong holiday. I'm sure she'll look back on it more fondly than she's acting right now. Hopefully you'll get plenty of replies from parents saying they've had exactly the same experience!

Ps children will never ever be grateful for a holiday until
they have experienced working and saving up for one and going on it without you and realising how expensive their shit accommodation was and how much your nice family holidays must have been!

I think you should ask her if she’s ok and what’s going on, tell her you love her and you’re happy to listen if she’s upset. Ask her if she wants a chat or chill out time in room, if she wants to stay in room say ok I love you darling I’ll be by the pool I’ll check in later text me if you need anything.

Teens need to be nurtured too and there will be a reason, she’ll be sad about something.

Ugh, the ingratitude and generally infectious misery of a teenager on a family holiday. And you have to take them or risk coming home to find the wreckage of a teenager party.

Honestly I took mine on two particularly memorable misery fests. One was the USA. The other was a much needed and ill afforded winter sun break after losing my job, covid and a deep depression.

In a way it is divine justice for what I put my parents through, and I still have the sulky photos to prove it. But still, I struggled.

The first bit for me was that I could see she was miserable and I felt sorry for her. But nothing I did was right, and I shpuld have gone alone.

I would go a completely different way. Maybe something has happened in her friendship group, maybe she is stressed, maybe she is thinking about the questions she didn't answer that teachers have spent the last year telling her her life is over if she doesn't get the grades.
Take her for an ice cream. Tell her you love her. Tell her you don't care what grades she gets..she's already a winner in your eyes just by sitting the exams. Tell her how much you love spending time with her and see if there is something in the resort that she really wants to do.

Pfft. Hormones in a growing child can be very strong. The stroppy teen cliche doesn’t come from nowhere.

Your response reinforces the view that women are at the mercy of their hormones - an idea feminists have spent decades trying to dispel. Of course the girl can help being a mardy arse- she is just choosing to be.

My fav family holiday was the one where I was a complete brat. It must have been hell for my parents, but moaning and staying up all hours to read Meive Binchey novels was divine.

Never look for positive reinforcement from a teenager.
Get on and enjoy it. She is old enough to be left to fester.

I remember being taken on some brilliant holidays as a kid and just being such a grumpy cow. I grumped my way round the Seychelles and I clearly remember throwing a strop in St Tropez because my parents wouldn’t let me go to a nightclub, age 14, by myself (!)

I was basically not even thinking about the cost or how my behaviour affected others but I’m perfectly nice and normal now!

in the end my parents just started leaving me with my grandma and going to the Caribbean by themselves. Weirdly I preferred this.

Im currently on holiday with my 13 and 15 year old and my 15 year old has his moments but I just leave him to it and make sure I ask them what they’d like to do and check in on them, but they’re much nicer kids than I was so it’s a bit easier.

I think post GCSEs there may be some FOMO that friends are having fun and going to parties while you're away on holiday.

My eldest did then this year and a lot of her friends are still around, organising meet ups etc as they have younger siblings so aren't going away until school breaks up. She'll probably be fine later in the summer. This does seem to be the age where they're generally only happy when they're with a friend. We've managed to sandwich our family holiday between 2 breaks with friends so hopefully that'll help.

My DCs have been similar at that age. Not much to suggest really, but it is really upsetting when it’s your hard earned cash getting wasted. Like other PPs suggest, I have gone out with the rest of the family and left the awkward teen at the holiday villa a few times, which helped but didn’t solve the problem. DH and I have mainly holidayed alone the last few years as DC haven’t wanted to join us and got old enough to stay home alone. This year they both expressed a wish to come and again, it’s cost loads and I am still a bit worried that they’ll complain. They are now 23 and 20 so fingers crossed.

Me too at 16! There are some hilarious pictures - even though they’re really grainy you can see my miserable face glaring at the camera!! I’m 48 now and a pleasant holiday companion - even with my DB and parents!!