Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Drunk messages from friend about staying at her house last weekend

119 replies

Footballjess · 05/07/2026 09:03

I have woken up to my friend sending me a series of really shitty messages late last night/into early hours - obviously been drinking.

Last weekend, I stayed over at hers and her husband’s with my DH (they live about an hour away and we were watching the football which started late).

DH and I started to have sex when I realised my totm had started early so we stopped. There was a little bit of mess on the bed which I did my best to clean but had to tell my friend the next day and I offered to buy new sheets.

She was fine at the time and said not to worry. Her messages have called me all sorts, said I was disgusting to have sex when in her spare bedroom and that I should have known it wasn’t the right time.

I am really taken aback by the messages and haven’t replied yet. I’m thinking of just leaving it until she sobers up and hopefully apologises?

OP posts:
LadyMacbethWasFierce · 05/07/2026 13:19

The thing that stands out most in all this is that the OP “offered” to strip the bed and the friend said not to.

I cannot conceive of any situation (short of total incapacitation) where I’d bleed on someone’s bedding and leave them to deal with it. I’d also have bought replacement sheets. But the leaving the soiled sheets for the friend to sort is beyond the pale.

It was not nice to receive drunken, unpleasant, messages of course. But it really was astonishingly bad to leave bloodied sheets on the bed.

Footballjess · 05/07/2026 13:19

Missjonesandrigby · 05/07/2026 13:16

So if that was the case what was your host's problem ?

I don't get it 🤔

Hopefully she will elaborate when she sobers up. I have a slight suspicion she is jealous because I know she had been unhappy a while ago about her and her husbands lack of sex life at that time.

OP posts:
aCatCalledFawkes · 05/07/2026 13:17

Missjonesandrigby · 05/07/2026 13:13

So all your guests sleep on stained sheets ?
That's nice 🙄

Well I normally put things in the washing machine between people staying over and make sure the sheets are stain free. But I get you might leave the sheets on to reuse. 🙄

Missjonesandrigby · 05/07/2026 13:16

Footballjess · 05/07/2026 13:08

No it didn’t create any mess in the bed. We did go to sleep after i’d cleaned up.

Edited

So if that was the case what was your host's problem ?

I don't get it 🤔

thejelliclecats · 05/07/2026 13:14

Evaka · 05/07/2026 13:14

Um wtaf with all the judgment on having sex in someone else's house. Bizarre.

Having sex is one thing, leaving your mess and stains for your friend to deal with is something else entirely..

sesquipedalian · 05/07/2026 13:14

If you mess up a bed someone else’s house - irrelevant how it happens - then you strip the bed and check to make sure it hasn’t gone further than the sheets or mattress protector. If it has, you’re in trouble because you need to address the problem immediately. If it hasn’t, you put the dirty items in the washer, and depending in the extent of the damage, replace the sheet if necessary.

Missjonesandrigby · 05/07/2026 13:14

12234m · 05/07/2026 13:13

Seriously? Gosh, I've been shagging my fella in hotels for five years.

I hope you leave the chambermaid a good tip ?

Evaka · 05/07/2026 13:14

Um wtaf with all the judgment on having sex in someone else's house. Bizarre.

nomas · 05/07/2026 13:13

Footballjess · 05/07/2026 13:08

No it didn’t create any mess in the bed. We did go to sleep after i’d cleaned up.

Edited

Ok. Not sure why she is being like this then. Period blood is nothing to be ashamed of, so your friend is BU.

I’ve had a couple of guests leave period stains, the sheets just get washed and forgotten about,

Flickitspinittwistitbopit · 05/07/2026 13:13

"Sorted dh out"?!?! 🙈🤣

Fucking hell....

12234m · 05/07/2026 13:13

Missjonesandrigby · 05/07/2026 12:45

No it's not OK to do in a hotel either.

Some underpaid chambermaid has to clean it up.

Seriously? Gosh, I've been shagging my fella in hotels for five years.

Missjonesandrigby · 05/07/2026 13:13

aCatCalledFawkes · 05/07/2026 13:09

People shouldn't have sex on their honeymoon or book weekends away to spend time which might involve sex. That's batshit.

I wouldn't care if it happened in my house. I wouldn't ask either so would just change the sheets.

So all your guests sleep on stained sheets ?
That's nice 🙄

ThejoyofNC · 05/07/2026 13:12

Of course she declined your offer to strip the because because she was being a good host, but you actually accepting that and leaving it for her to sort was bloody disgusting.

Missjonesandrigby · 05/07/2026 13:11

@Footballjess and cleaned what I could.

What the heck does that mean?

By the time you'd realised there was a problem the fluid would have stained the sheet and probably gone through to the mattress.

Have you any idea how difficult it is to get blood out of anything? It needs to be soaked in cold water immediately and then washed with a biological laundry liquid. Once it's set in the fabric stains are nearly impossible to remove.

No wonder your friend was as mad as anything. I would have not only asked you for new sheets but a new mattress as well.

She was out-of order to drunk text you but you created the situation in the first place.

aCatCalledFawkes · 05/07/2026 13:09

Missjonesandrigby · 05/07/2026 12:45

No it's not OK to do in a hotel either.

Some underpaid chambermaid has to clean it up.

People shouldn't have sex on their honeymoon or book weekends away to spend time which might involve sex. That's batshit.

I wouldn't care if it happened in my house. I wouldn't ask either so would just change the sheets.

Footballjess · 05/07/2026 13:08

nomas · 05/07/2026 13:07

Did sorting DH out create more mess on the sheets?

After the blood on the sheets, might have been best to call it a night.

No it didn’t create any mess in the bed. We did go to sleep after i’d cleaned up.

OP posts:
LoafofSellotape · 05/07/2026 13:07

Footballjess · 05/07/2026 13:02

Did you miss the part where I said it stopped early? Once I knew that I’d come on we obviously didn’t continue, I just sorted DH out and cleaned what I could.

You see this is far too much detail for me and I expect was the same for your friend .

nomas · 05/07/2026 13:07

Footballjess · 05/07/2026 13:02

Did you miss the part where I said it stopped early? Once I knew that I’d come on we obviously didn’t continue, I just sorted DH out and cleaned what I could.

Did sorting DH out create more mess on the sheets?

After the blood on the sheets, might have been best to call it a night.

LoafofSellotape · 05/07/2026 13:06

Missjonesandrigby · 05/07/2026 13:00

A hotel is definitely a place to have sex - really ?

I know people who have guest houses who have had to increase their charges because of people who piss the bed, shit the bed and leave blood and cum all the over the place.

Unless you have any idea of the cost of a new mattress then I suggest you stop commenting.

That's why there are mattress protectors.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 05/07/2026 13:06

Oh and loving the added detail about " sorting your husband out"

Hankunamatata · 05/07/2026 13:05

Sorry its totally cringe having sex when staying in spare room.

No one wants ot hear the house guests having sex

KilkennyCats · 05/07/2026 13:05

Footballjess · 05/07/2026 09:13

I offered and she told me not to 😬

Why did you offer rather than just doing it before you even told her there was a problem, like most people would have done?
You haven’t behaved well at all.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 05/07/2026 13:03

If Mumsnet is such a dull repressed little backwater one wonders why the OP feels the need to post about her sex life on here 🤔

Footballjess · 05/07/2026 13:02

Thatsnotmynameno · 05/07/2026 13:01

Did it leak through onto the mattress? Tbf I’d be disgusted with you, telling me you had sex and made a bloody mess without bothering to clean it up and expect me to do it? Are you ok? It’s really disrespectful and to me you sound like the one who has sex once a year, hence you felt the need to share this with your friend.

No it didn’t.

OP posts:
Footballjess · 05/07/2026 13:02

Missjonesandrigby · 05/07/2026 12:55

I agree.
OP needs to review her standards of behaviour.

I have friends who will not come to stay with me at certain times because they are due a period (with heavy flow) and don't want to make a mess.

I personally won't stay in hotels or friends' houses unless I have STs the size of doorsteps and an old towel with me to put under my bum.

Sex in such situations is out of the question, both out of respect to my friends and to the chambermaids who have to service my room at a hotel.

OP if you have some kink about having sex in a strange bed during a period then that's your bag but don't leave all your sex/period slop for others to clear up.
That's beyond gross.

I'm looking for a vomit emoji but can't find one.🙁

Did you miss the part where I said it stopped early? Once I knew that I’d come on we obviously didn’t continue, I just sorted DH out and cleaned what I could.

OP posts: