AIBU to refuse a Year 9 staying up for the 1am match?

I absolutely would allow it.
This is a one off.
It will be all the children will talk about and he will feel left out.
We were a very firm bed time family here but I wouldn't dream of not allowing this.

Nights like this are carried forever.

Nearly 50 years ago my friend aged 15 was not allowed do a post exam night out.
I can't remember any detail of the night, only her upset at her strict father saying no to a normal teenager dance. Neither can she.
I wouldn't ever want to be that parent.

It spoiled the night for us too as she was devastated and we were all great friends.

Awful parenting to other your children.
Boys are obsessed with things like this.
You will pay dearly and hear about it for the rest of your days.
Kids have elephant memories for shit like this!
Beware.

A lesson in shared misery then.

When England played in the 1966 World Cup final we were leaving on holiday. My father insisted we went that day regardless.
8 hour drive to Cornwall.
Roads surprisingly clear.
No radio.
Only discovered result when we arrived at end of day.

If they go in at all. It will be like a ghost town.

Im letting mine stay up, he had a late night last night, hes up now so plan is he goes to bed much earlier than usual (about 8pm) to squeeze a few hours sleep in and get up at 12.45am to watch it.

Whether he does sleep is another matter but its a one off, he loves footy and all his mates are watching it so I personally do feel its a bit tight to say no.

Not much is going on in school this time of year anyway is it? They break up the week after next. You can guarantee most of the school won't be in tomorrow. Just give him the day off.

The Scotland games were a one in 28 years event. England's mens team have only failed to qualify for the World Cup twice since 1950. and I think only twice for the Euros.

Different in my view.

Let him. This is the stuff they’ll remember. Most of the kids will be tired at school tomorrow.

For God sake let him stay up! Every single child I know is staying up, not one parent is worried about it. I honestly never come across these people in real life! Breathe....unclench... enjoy something with your son (that he wants to do!)

Agreed. England getting knocked out happens every 4 years, plenty more opportunities to see them not winning in the future.

If he is really into football then I would let him but he would have to get up and go to school. It is a useful life lesson about having to get yourself into work after a night out.

It’s not the same. At all.

Part of the excitement is staying up with your dad watching it and seeing it in real time.

This is what I took from it too. 7:30 bedtime for a 14 year old is odd unless they have a health condition. Youth club, scouts and many other clubs don't finish until after this.

kick off at 1am, should be all done and dusted by 3am- 3:30am latest. Compromise he goes to bed early, at least rests 8pm-1am, set an alarm for then. (or say 2am so he’s only watching the second half?) he agrees straight to bed again after the match. the tv volume isn’t too high so other family members can get a good nights sleep.

He goes to school tomorrow. Also any homework due later in the week is done this afternoon so if he’s shattered Monday/tuesfay evenings, he can just have early nights without having to bother with that. (This would be my family rule because I know one bad night wipes my DS out for a couple of nights afterwards.)

Just let him watch it. What’s the worst that’s going to happen? He’s tired at school? He’ll live.

Record it and get up at 5 to watch before school. Turn off all devices so you can’t see the result.

Core memory 😂😂😂

If he was actually flying to Mexico and had a ticket to watch the match in the stadium, that might be a memory that would last.

In 10, 20, 30 years time, he will have absolutely no recollection of staying up late to watch one England game.

I attended (travelled to and had tickets for ) my first World Cup games in 1998. I do not even remember all the scores from the group games or who we played (apart from Tunisia).

Teacher here. Let him watch and then keep him off. I am dreading trying to get any sense out of Y9 on Monday morning - the fewer the better

It's nearly summer holidays so I'd be feeling more relaxed about this than in, say, September! Lots of time to rest just around the corner.

TBH teens handle the late night better than me probably!

I would ask that they sleep a few hours ahead of getting up for it - not that they will sleep in all likelihood, but because rest is still useful and I think it is good to instil the idea that sometimes you need to make adjustments to work things to suit.

How do you even get a 14 year old to go to bed at 7:30?

(11 hours sleep and get up at 6.30)

Wow that’s so true.

It’s as bad to be too strict as to be too lax IMO. How else do you learn how to make mistakes and deal with the consequences if everything is controlled. I know a lot of people who are people-pleasers and/or can’t make up their own minds about anything and I think it’s a lot to with never being given choices as a child so you get into the habit of fitting in with everyone else.

I had boundaries with my sons but also gave them a lot of options and they’ve both managed to get jobs and get up for work absolutely fine. They can also make up their own minds.

Also OP why do your parenting choices trump those of your DH? He should just say no to you but maybe he’s too scared too???? Either way he’d be getting up for school in the morning which is part of learning that actions have consequences and that it’s good to compromise.

I can't understand why healthy young people need the day off school tomorrow for one late night.
He can stay up to watch the match, but he still gets his bum to school tomorrow, then have an early Monday night if he's worn out.

Saying that, my child is volunteering at a secondary school tomorrow and the school day is starting at 1130, instead of the usual time.

Let him watch - England probably will be knocked out...and he won't forgive you!
At my boarding school in the 80's my housemistress refused to let us watch the final 15 mins of the very final episode of Brideshead......all because it went on for 15 mins after lights out.......know this Mrs R-T, I've still not forgiven you!

Everyone will be tired tomorrow it'll be a great binding session 😂

when I was younger we used to go out on a Thursday night roll in at 4am and still go to to work the next day. Those were the days!

Of course there are way more important things than a football game, but that doesn't mean that this game can't be important to ops son

There is hype about many, many unimportant things. It breaks up the monotony of day to day life

I think a teen is old enough to weigh up if they want to be tired the next day or not.

This. It will be a core memory and most of the other kids at school will have done it.
it will also be a core memory if you don’t let him.
Deff still have to go to school in the morning tho! Don’t be a snowflake. 😃
we are going to bed early and setting alarm for 1