AIBU to refuse a Year 9 staying up for the 1am match?

YABU

I am not a fan of football and won’t be watching it but if one of my DCs wanted to then I would let them.

It’s literally a one off and the next time it happens he’ll be 18/19.

If he’s grumpy or he misses some school, then so what.
There will be multiple kids having the day off and some have time off all of the time.

I think education is so important but missing a couple days of school here and there isn’t going to do any harm.

I’m team DH on this one.

We let ours stay up for the Scotland games.

so yes I’d let yours stay up. It’s a big deal.

We didn't sneak out either
Our parents dropped us off. We never needed fake id, noone ever asked. It was a small and wealthy town though so wildly different from clubbing in a city which we didn't try till we were 16

We had house parties too.

Never heard of a dry district ?

Let him watch on condition he actually goes to bed at 9:30 and get up at 12:45.
He will be fine the next morning

I wouldn’t let him stay up - but I would let him go to bed early and set his alarm for 12.45. He could then get up watch the match in his PJs (and his duvet) on the sofa. With the plan to go back to bed afterwards to get another 3 hours

But there would be a fair change that a) his alarm goes off and he just isn’t that interested at that time and b) he falls asleep watching the match.

I would also say as your DH is on team yes, he plans to get up and do the same!

I get up middle of the night to watch the F1 with my son and then head back to bed - difference is they are on Saturday/ Sunday night so can have a lazy day. But it isn’t as bad as you think.

Assuming you and DH will be in bed asleep by 1, how will you realistically stop your 14 year old from setting an alarm and getting up anyway?

DH says let him, keeps going on about once every 4 years experience, it's only 1 night, etc.

My DH has no intention of watching it. Don't know why certain posters are saying DH will be watching it. I never said that. He won't be.

You have created most of the assumptions by leaving out that your DH has no intention of watching it himself.. why would he 'keep going on about it' when he isn't going to watch it himself? You could have added most of those details in to your OP rather than get annoyed with people for 'making assumptions',.

Either way, I'd be okay with letting your son watch it as long as he gets up for school at normal time.. if he falls asleep at 8:30pm then there's no reason why he can't set an alarm, get himself up then go back to sleep once it's over, or go to sleep early and get up early to watch it on catch up. One day will hardly make a difference to his life, unless there are other reason that you have completely failed to mention in your OP as well.

As it's just DC can he watch it in bed with the sound down?

If he needs that much sleep him might just fall asleep anyway but at least you've allowed him to try?

He could go to bed at 8.30 - set an alarm for 1 so can sleep before/afterwards.

I think he should watch it, but to claim it’s a ‘core memory’ is ridiculous.

He might be annoyed with his Mum for a few weeks, but it’s not life changing.

I didn’t say they shouldn’t watch, but to claim it’s a ‘core memory’ to watch a match on TV is ridiculous. Do you actually know what ‘core memory’ means?

I would let him, give him a good dinner and snacks, make the living room extra cozy, low lighting, pillow on the sofa, volume not too loud etc. chances are he'll fall asleep before 1am. You could even take him out for a walk/swim to help. If he naps easily, you could tell him to go for a nap too as another poster suggested

Right well, OK. We were at houseparties and drinking at 14 but not clubbing. This was a big city maybe they were stricter. (also we had dry districts).. ID definitley tightened up in the 90s. It used to be an issue with our sixth formers and is less of an issue now. But the drunken antics were mainly house parties.

There is a big difference between 15 , nearly 16 and end of year 9.

But definitely no sneaking out. My parents/ parents of friends knew I was out. (which is another issue in itself!)

Are we such bad parents we can’t ride through a single late night? Are we bringing up kids so lacking in resilience that 1 night of a lack of sleep is going to render them zombie like, unable to function or regulate themselves or impact on their ability or ambition to do well in the grand scheme of education?

Or do we just not value football and therefore nobody else should?

A bit of self reflection on our own parenting may be in order if this 1 night is creating such a disproportionate drama. Can we not stop being dramatic about every single thing! Kids will live, the world moves on as normal.

Can you tell him he can watch it if he goes to sleep for a few hours after school/dinner then gets woken up for it? I guess you can't force him to go to sleep but it might work to an extent?

I was also out clubbing at 15, with my parents knowledge. Some of my friends were 14. 😮 Things were very different in the 90s, fake IDs and no one seemed to care. It felt great at the time from a teens point of view but I would never let my kids do this. My kids think it’s shocking and ask what in earth my parents were thinking!

It's a one-off because of the time zone.
I don't think they'll play any other games that late if they do get through - and I hope they prove everyone wrong and do get through!

Next World Cups are in more sociable time zones and kids will grow up and different kids will have these issues/memories.
I'm Irish and I remember my dad getting me up early to watch Ireland win a medal in the Olympics. It meant so much to him (it was their only medal that year) and I cherish that memory.

Our parents knew. They would come and pick us up after. To be fair. It was a small town. Pretty much everyone in the nightclub was underage. I never encountered drugs or violence. Most people were having a few WKDs /Smirnoff Ices and a Marlboro light.

We used to at 14/15. Tell our parents we were going for a pizza, share 1 between four then run across the road and have an hour in a club before heading back to stand in front of the pizza place for our parents picking us up. I’d hate it if my daughter did the same when she’s 14 but it was the 90s. At 16 we were going to student nights clubbing on a Monday, they moved our A-level biology class back an hour as the teacher was sick of people being ill.

Why do you doubt it?
I was too! And all my friends. And we were the straight A students. And that was the late 90s

I used to pride myself on looking young enough to get a half fare pass on the train then old enough to get into the local nightclub

I actually did, with my mum’s consent (wouldn’t have allowed mine to do the same).

Year 9? It’s fine. He will survive one night of limited sleep or send him in late or let him have a day off.

I mean it very much might be. I can't see them getting much further!

I’d get him to go to bed early and then get up for the match and go back to bed after. Then an early night on Monday. He’s got 4 years to wait until the next one. We did it with my 8 yr old for the Scotland match (albeit it was a Sunday) and she was still up and bouncing at her regular time, whilst the rest of us suffered!

You went clubbing in town aged 14 in the early 90s?

Sure.