AIBU to refuse a Year 9 staying up for the 1am match?

1978 World Cup Final Argentina v Netherlands. It was on, IIRC, 7pm kick off, my bedtime was 8pm, I was allowed to watch the first half, then sent to get ready for bed. I was fuming. The result was I couldn't sleep anyway. I then told a telling off for not going to sleep. I was awake all night.
It was 2 foreign teams, not England.
It was early in comparison.
I was 11.
I still remember it all these years later.
Tell him, he can watch but he's going to bed early and set alarm, watch match, then bed again and going to school normal time and you won't tolerate any tired grumpiness! He will survive on one bad night sleep.

It sounds like he won’t manage to stay awake anyway.

I’d let him, but he gets up on time and goes the school regardless.

He might love it and be fine tomorrow

He might be tired and grumpy and get into trouble at school, lesson learnt

He might be a bugger to get up in the morning and try and not go in, fine, you will know not to treat him so maturely next time if he can’t keep to his word

Watch the match on replay at 7:10am tomorrow morning?

I have zero interest in football. Neither do my DC. But if they had been at that age, I would have allowed this as a one off. One of my children hasn’t been in school for two years due to illness. It certainly puts missing the odd day into perspective.

It's usually a wise parenting approach to ignore the line 'but everyone else's parents are letting them' but on this occasion, an awful lot of them are, and with children much younger than your DS. I am good friends with a family whose 10 yo will go to bed a little earlier than usual in the evening, be woken by his dad at 00.45, then watch the match and go back to bed for a couple of hours before getting up for school at normal time. These are good parents who are usually very strict over sleep.

I would personally let him do it on a similar schedule to the one above, going in to school at normal time. If DH feels strongly that he should be allowed then he can be the one to set an alarm and wake him.

Just manage DS's expectations that they are very unlikely to win.

Having read your updates, I’d prefer he gets up at 4 and watches it on catchup then pretend to his friends that he watched it live
Or
He gets up half an hour earlier and watches the highlights before school so he can chat about the football.

I wouldn’t let him skip tomorrow morning because it sets a precedent and his ND brain will try this for other matches like the final and in future years. My preference would be for solution 2 as it’s only Monday and I don’t want to suffer the effects of his sleep deprivation. By 6 there will be videos and commentators who can summarise the match and he can use that if he needs to know what to say at school.

Let him watch it!! So many life lessons in letting him stay up rather than rigidly stick to rules for no reason. What do you think he will remember as an adult another monotanous Monday at school (when tbh nothing happens towards end of Term anyway) or his parents teaching him about flexibility???? This should not even be a question.

Same here! I used to order the fake ID from adverts at the back of magazines (just 17?). We all used to do it.

I do remember my mum used to come and pick me up from town in the early hours though. It’s all seems madness now.

DH ... says it will be the final England match - they'll be knocked out by Mexico tonight so there will be no other England games to watch after tonight.

LTB!

At first I thought you meant a nine year old
but year nine teenager? Yes that’s mean and I would let them if that’s what they wanted to do

Let him stay up to watch it but the rules are he will still need to go to school!

He will be able to function on little sleep, it won’t kill him. I’m sure you’ve had to disrupt sleep routine during holiday travel etc and I’m sure he survived!

You need stamina when you are young so you have the mental strength to cope with life's challenges.

It's very long. He's missing out on life. Don't teens need to know how to cope on little sleep, especially if they go to uni!

It’s one night of less sleep. Bed 9-1. Watch match. Bed 4-630. Early to bed Monday night

edit to add school normal time but hopefully people worked that out with 630am get up

Controlling and unreasonable 😂😂😂

Its called parenting.

Btw I think he should get to watch the match, but I’m not his parent, so she gets to decide that.

But if you are a genuine fan of football I'm afraid that is irrelevant.

That maybe so but 11 is a bit excessive and even if that's the case at 14 one night of not complying with the guidelines won't be harmful. I have older teens, I didn't micro manage their sleep pattern at 14 and there has been no detrimental impact. My eldest can't wait for the 1 am pub with friends, he's glad it was reversed!

I need 10 hours sleep a night, always have done I don't think that's weird.

OP, most of the adults I know are getting up at 5am, not checking their phone and watching it then. Because otherwise it will take them all week to recover.

It isn't a final. They've got little chance of winning, why ruin the week? It doesn't matter if you watch it at 1am or 5am.

He’s 14. Let him watch it but with the stipulation that he still has to go to school tired or not.

Bed at 8.30pm Sunday night, asleep for 9pm.
Alarm set for 12.50am.
That's nearly four hours sleep
Watch the match.
Back to bed for a brief nap.
Up at normal time
That's another hour or two sleep depending on extra time etc.

Grit his teeth and practice that resilience by getting through the next day on slightly suboptimal sleep. Useful life skill

England will be there in 2030, no doubt in 2034, when matches are nearer to UK daytime.

I was apparently on a boat trip that day. My mother hated football and my dad had just had an eye operation.

Your 14yo needs 11h sleep? Have you talked to his doctor about this?

If she was, that's a bad point because the people who were saying it's a one off didn't define it so specifically.

It's also a bad point because even for a team like England who routinely make knock out stages, you only get a limited number of these events as a child and teen. This is also likely to be the last one where his mother's in charge of his bedtime. There's absolutely a risk he's going to have a longer term memory of his dad being fine with it but his mother not letting him. No getting round the fact that for some people, these shared experiences in their youth are important to them.