What do you say?

He’s probably sick of rude kids and preserves his sanity by being a ‘ say please’ promoter. Fair enough.

Especially when the ‘It takes a village, but how do I find my village?’ posts are a regular thing on here. The point about it taking a village to raise a child is that not everyone in the village will do things that same way, or the way you would do them.

This absolute obsession on MN that nobody else ever talks to your child or expects manners from them is batshit.

He was right.

YABU. You should be grateful he reminded her. Surely you want your DD to have manners and you won’t always be around to remind her?

@Supersleepysheepy Well yes I think this shows parents sometimes now don't hold with their children being nudged into being polite.. Hopefully most parents are still ok with it

This is silly, OP. You’re making a giant mountain out of a tiny molehill because you felt your parenting was being criticised. You know the whole ‘It takes a village’ stuff? The village doesn’t just involve babysitting, it involves ticking off your children when they’re stepped out of line, according to the ticker off. It doesn’t matter whether or not you’d have intervened.

Is it generational? I'm in my 30's and would always do it.

That's a generational thing..They always did it..he was on autopilot..It's not worth getting upset about..

Non-issue.

But It is normal to prompt kids to say please if they forget, that's normal? It's not a slight on you! All kids forget and theres nothing wrong with that conversation, it's quite ridiculous, and ridiculous that im now posting about it too haha, I think it's fine op and looking into a bit much, it's a comment no more no less

Your OP seems more about you kicking yourself for not correcting her before he did.

there’s a lot of justifying that you usually would and why you didn’t in this circumstance.

The whole interaction is a non event - but maybe the person who needs to be given a break here is you!

enjoy your Sunday.

It’s not a valid question at all. It’s a total non-situation.

@IvyMarieSutton This is such a daft thing to be upset about that I have a strong feeling that you are not, in fact, miffed about what was said to your daughter (which was a normal exchange, by the way) but the fact that the man turned your picture into a caricature. I think you should forget about it. What's wrong is you still being so upset that you feel the need to post about it at 4 o'clock in the morning.

I think that him insisting on a please wasn't necessary, at a party, to a young child caught up in the excitement. So he was just a guest? Why did he target the children? Did he have children with him?

I don’t think you’re overthinking it OP. The man’s attitude towards an excited 4 year old at a wedding was inappropriate and unkind, considering she’d already thanked him for her sticker. No wonder she was stumped and unsure how to respond. He was being an asshole.

I can't believe you even gave it another thought.

I overheard something similar with a waitress serving a family in the same restaurant I was in recently.

It was a little bit awkward so yanbu to find it awkward. But yabu to be still thinking about it the next day. He possibly just doesn't speak to children very often and got the tone wrong.

Massive overreaction. He did nothing wrong

Also think your overreacting, nothing everything has to be a thing! Your daughter forget to say please, he reminded, that's it really, why are you worried about this enough to write a post, I think that's standard and normal interaction and your being difficult looking for something to say.

I often remind children to say please, that's quite a normal thing for people to do in my experience (I also remind adults...)

Perfectly normal for a 4 year old to forget to say please and suddenly become shy around a stranger. Also normal for an adult to remind a child to say please. Did your daughter seem upset afterwards?

Gosh I’m amazed it even occurred to you to think about it!

Back in the day, pretty much all adults said this to dc. It was as knee jerk as the actual please and thank you.

Personally I dislike the ‘please and thank you by rote’ approach. Courtesy is so much more than bolting on a word. You can be rude while using please and thank you, and courteous without us8ng them. However, I wouldn’t blink if someone said ‘what’s the magic word’ 🤣

The purpose of teaching her good manners is so that she applies it in a public setting. She had a little faux pas and forgot. The gentleman she was talking to pulled her up. Clearly she got a little lost in the moments fun, she’ll learn. She’s only small & it was a safe space with you there.

Maybe he is used to working with children and did it automatically? If he has this contraption maybe he does events and is used to poor manners so automatically jumped in. I sometimes do this automatically as working in a school I am used to reminding children of good manners and not just making demands of their needs (I want!!).

For someone who claims to instil manners in her children you’ve taken an awful lot of offence over nothing. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.
Did nobody ever say this to you growing up?! It’s a very normal thing for an adult to say to a child and it 100% will not be the last time.