AIBU to feel guilty about skipping my weekly visit to Mum

I think, given your own busy life and the fact that she has one of her children living with her, a monthly visit is perfectly adequate. It's very difficult, but you need to put your foot down and ignore her sulks. She's lucky to have you and she needs to recognise that. Don't feel bad, your children need you more.

How old are your children? Assuming still pretty hands on, in your situation I think I would drop your visits to max once a fortnight. I would call once a week on the weekend I don’t visit. Feel free to drop to once per month if it is still too much.
Why does the sibling she lives with not assist with her shopping, admin, general tasks and anything else she needs? Why does she feel so lonely given she lives with her child? I may be really unfair here but I’m guessing it’s a man - am I right?
I’d not call her all week after that nasty message and on the weekend call and ask her if she would like you to come over. Any further snippy behaviour and I’d say ‘I guess not then’. Then call her next weekend with the same offer. She is taking you for granted and treating you like dirt. There needs to be consequences

I have cared for two parents and it’s time to nip this in the bud.
You and your DC come first. That’s it.
You are not your mother’s servant.
Plenty of retired women cope and build social lives near to home.
It’s really tough if you want to please and avoid the guilt trip but sometimes you have to become like the parent.
Let her wail and ignore you and use the sinking as a flying monkey and do not give in.

I have had a busy week too , i'm no spring chicken now and i really need my Saturdays more than ever to catch up and recharge.
My mother lives much nearer than yours and i saw her earlier in the week but i haven't visited her today.
I have siblings and they are in the same boat as me with work and responsibilities, we do our best and our mother does get plenty of company and attention as does yours i imagine if your sibling lives with her.
I still feel guilty that today hasn't involved my mother, when i speak to friends and colleagues in similar situations they all feel the same.
Your mother is selfish in her behaviour, any parent that behaves like this is, i think you just need to ignore until the next call/ visit and i bet she is likely to act as if nothing happened at all .
Very annoying i know but you matter too and you need your space and rest and peace, so in response no YANBU .
I hope i never make my adult kids feel like this !

That’s awful. Even if she lived alone but she has your sibling living there? How old is the sibling and what help do they give?
Why are you doing all these tasks when she has another adult living with her?

How is she lonely if your sibling lives with her? Don’t feel guilty for one second.

That's a horribly cruel and manipulative message from your DM @BoldAquaOP .Don't reply.
Don't phone tomorrow.
Enjoy your weekend and start the new week feeling a bit more refreshed.
Feel no guilt - you're not responsible for your Mother's feelings, they're hers to deal with and sort out her own coping strategies.

Is your sibling who lives with her incapable of keeping things ticking over for one weekend?

YANBU - have a look on the elderly parents thread for support from people doing a similar juggle. I’m in a similar situation to you and have just dropped to fortnightly visits instead of weekly. TBF my Mum doesn’t say I don’t care etc. but she’s very hard work in other ways. I ring every other day rather than daily too and that helps on a sanity level.

I don’t feel guilty as my children and husband need me too, plus I am allowed to have a restful weekend sometimes. I don’t think you should feel guilty either! Your happiness matters.

If you burn yourself out you’re no good to anyone at all

Allow yourself some time to recharge; I’m sure your mother will need you before you need her, as harsh as that sounds

I’ve been there, no good deed goes unpunished and the more on hand you are the more is expected, despite having a larger family, more demanding job and being further away