To just stop hiding my body?

Ha. Not too long ago, my arms were slim, strong and very, very toned. This summer, I tried on my nice sleeveless things to discover large wodges of jelly-like flab squelching around my upper arms, forming topographically interesting extrusions as I moved around.

Half my brain instantly tuned into faux-concerned judginess, going "Oh, those poor arms! Best to wear sleeves, nobody wants to see your flab. Everyone will sneer at you."

The other half of my brain won 😎 Arms are arms, OP, and we're both getting the sun on ours! Congratulations on your weight loss.

I think the only person who really cares about this is the person whose body it is!
Most people are more concerned with what their own bodies look like.

I do understand though. Ive gone from a 22-24 to a 10-12 and have some major loose skin (less bingo wings and more flying squirrel!!LOL). The only thing that bugs me about it is the fact I weight train and it hides my muscles somewhat.
Although TBF I dont really get my upper arms out anyways....its coz of the sun though, not aesthetics!

@themiddleofourstreet, I am glad that you bought those dresses. Enjoy every minute of wearing them.
What helps me with things like this is not trying to persuade myself that I don't care (I KNOW I shouldn't, but I do) but knowing that it doesn't actually make a difference.
By this I mean that a chunky arm cloaked in a sleeve is still obviously a chunky arm. An overweight person wearing something black and shapeless, is still obviously overweight. We might think we are hiding something, but it never works.
If you ever watch one of those rubbishy shows like "Say yes to the dress," it is clear to see that the brides who want sleeves because they are self-conscious about their arms still look like the same bride. No-one sees a sleeve and thinks, "Oh, there's a tiny little arm in there." You still see the drape of the fabric, the volume of the arm below.
So, if it isn't working anywhere, why not be cooler, more comfortable, and in a dress or top you really like?

I’ve lost 8 stone (bereavement stress) and I’ve got bingo wings, loose skin etc 🙄

If I need to, if I’m going out to dinner or something, I’ll dress to disguise all this, but other than that, I just dress as I like. I cannot be bothered to please others now.

Of course you don't need to hide your body. I'd just say, wear what makes you feel good, comfortable and not too self conscious. I'm in my 50s and far from the body beautiful, but wear a bikini; my only rule is, if you're going to wear it, wear it with confidence and without comment.

Truthfully, when I see loose skin on people now I assume they’ve been on weight loss drugs and have lost weight too fast without trying to do any exercise!

Truthfully, I am pretty sure the OP and people like her couldn't give a flying fuck what you think! Seriously? You judge other women in that way? Need to keep yourself sexy on a permanent basis for your husband? What a life!

I take weight loss drugs. Been doing it for a year. Lost 5 stone. Not much more than a pound a week. It's certainly not been fast - no one I know who's using WLIs has lost any faster than that. And I could exercise till the cows come home but it's not going to make a difference when my skin has been stretched to 21 stone, is it?! There's only so much bouncing back to be done.

Tell me, which offends you most? Remaining morbidly obese or the inevitable saggy skin that happens however you lose the weight?

I keep looking out for this style, because elbow length dresses aren't that common, but they exist.
Hope and Ivy quite often have them but they are a bit floral for me at the moment.
And White Stuff
https://www.johnlewis.com/white-stuff-megan-v-neck-midi-dress-red/p114908879
And Sahara London (this one looks lovelier on a rounder shape than on a very slim model)
https://saharalondon.com/products/crinkle-bubble-dress-thing-ss26
And sometimes Toast
https://www.toa.st/collections/sale/products/bryn-herb-print-dress-brilliant-blue?_gl=110ea6qz_upMQ.._gaMjA4MTMzNzg5Ni4xNzgzMjU4NjA2_ga_N28MZ8GGL9*czE3ODMyNTg2MDUkbzEkZzAkdDE3ODMyNTg2MDUkajYwJGwwJGgxNzY4NDY5MTMw
https://www.toa.st/collections/sale/products/tablecloth-print-dress-soya-multi

I look first on eBay because none of these brands are that cheap.

Hope that helps.

So many redfaced shirtless men with hairy backs and crap tattoos appear during the heatwave. Often a complete stranger to a pedicure too.

At least my wobbly tum was earnt through pregnancies and not just lager.

I wear what I like, as long as its not disrespectful to an occasion, and I encourage you to do the same. If they don't like it they don't have to look.

YANBU, wouldn't give a second glance.

The only concern I'd raise is extra caution around sun protection and similar if around plants or things that can irritate the skin, and only because I've heard and those I know with more experience than me say that loose skin is more delicate and prone to getting more irritated and painful when those things happen, but that may be more an individual thing.

Go for it! I deliberately bought a slightly small tankini this week, for a holiday in August to inspire me to loose weight!

Truthfully , your post isn’t coming across great & you’re going to get slated to shit for some of what you’ve written.
“ When I see loose skin on people I think they were on weight loss drugs , lost the weight too quickly & didn’t exercise “ , shitty remark & also untrue .
” I can imagine my dh looking at saggy flesh on show , & thinking , “ she looks sexy today “. 🙈.
You should be kinder to yourself & clearly others too pp .

I think if anyone has anything to say about your arms, the way you look, what you should/shouldn't be wearing etc - says a lot more about them, than it does about you.

You may feel uncomfortable/self conscious the first however many times you wear the sleeveless dress. Its not your current norm. The more you do it, the more it will become your norm. Growth, mentally and physically, often requires a bit of discomfort.

You got this - Enjoy the dresses!

I've always hated my legs. They've always felt like tree trunks, and I've kept them hidden since I was in my early 20s. I carry weight randomly around the sides of my knees, so they have a bit of weird bulge. It's not helped that I've inherited my dads legs, which were also bigger, where as my mum has little sticks for legs. Not an extra ounce on them. I'm surprised they hold her up tbh, but they've always been like that.

But just this last year, I've thought "fuck it" and got my legs out. And while I'm still not that confident, I'm wearing shorts more and more and caring less. I do wonder if I have lymphodema, as my arms and the rest of my body is quite normal sized... But I haven't cared enough to do anything about it.

If only we could all have your will power and stamina. By the way my 11 stone loss had absolutely nothing to do with any weight loss drug.

Thank you, I have been.yes, spinning and boxercise classes but still have some loose skin and I have always hated how I look.
I have literally had gangs of lads shouting fat cxxt out of car windows at me, I suppose the bad stuff is easier to believe

This is so true. If you just take a general look around your local area there’s all shapes and sizes and ages.

If people have large weight loss, they can exercise till the cows come home, it won't tighten stretched skin. Exercise builds muscle.

Your self-loathing is really apparent from your post, and that's sad.. your DH knows what you look like unclothed and I'm sure he loves and desires you.

Wow. What a fantastic weight loss. You should feel very proud of yourself. I have awful arms too. If I hold them a certain way I have hangy skin and I’ve forced myself to not focus on them and wear what I like. I know that I don’t focus on anyone else’s arms so I’m sure they don’t focus on mine. I keep repeating that to myself 😜

@AlreadyBetty I feel a bit sorry for you. They’re just arms, why be uncomfortable because someone random might judge you? Be like Elsa and “let it go”….

OP wear whatever you like. You’ve done so much to improve your health I hope your new dresses are gorgeous!

Blimey @AlreadyBettyso much to unpick in that one. Shame and self loathing, making your DH the benchmark on whether you look attractive etc

I went to an outdoor event yesterday - it was hot but what was great was the vast array of bodies on shape, not giving a shit, just enjoying the event. Fat, thin, wearing revealing clothing - just enjoying life. Nobody really cares what other people look like, wear what you like.

I wouldn't care. So long as your arse, genitals or tits aren't on display and then you'd take umbrage at people looking, wear what you want.

I am a size 16 and I’d never wear a sleeveless dress

This is so depressing

Truthfully, when I see loose skin on people now I assume they’ve been on weight loss drugs and have lost weight too fast without trying to do any exercise!

I am a size 16 and I’d never wear a sleeveless dress even though I swim 75 lengths 4 times a week and so my arms and shoulders are well-defined. When I was younger I was a size 10 so I have a memory of how lovely I used to look in summer clothes. I don’t think sleeveless dresses look good on larger people. I only know one person who is size 16-18 who carries off dresses really well (she very fit, just large). For most larger women there’s just a huge expanse of upper arm and I don’t think it looks nice at all. I can’t imagine my dh looking at a load of saggy flesh thinking “she looks sexy today.” I prefer to feel that I look nice in my clothes and that makes me feel confident and attractive to dh. I wouldn’t feel confident with loads of flesh on show at all. It just reminds me I haven’t taken care of my body as well as I should have.

Weirdly enough, I have scars on my legs from an accident on my leg and I don’t mind showing them - if anything I’m proud of them because I had to learn to walk again and it was so incredibly difficult and painful. They are a testament to what I’ve done right with my body; the saggy bits (like my tummy) shame me and I don’t want people to know I haven’t looked after myself .