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You do not have to be rich to have a breakdown

159 replies

UndertheCedartree · 04/07/2026 17:38

I heard this recently - you have to be rich to have a breakdown. Meaning that those who are not wealthy have to 'just get on with it.' They can't have a mental breakdown as they have to work etc.

I really disagree with this. I had a serious mental breakdown and I can assure people that psychiatric hospitals are not full of wealthy people. I think this narrative is really dangerous as it makes people think they 'don't have time' to look after their mental health and the trouble is this then means a serious breakdown is more likely and at that point it is really not a choice. When you get sectioned you don't get a choice as to if you 'want' to have a breakdown or not as you need to work.

I think this also disproportionately affects women as there is the added narrative that you have to 'just get on with it' with the home and children. The truth is there are many mothers in hospital like I was.

I encourage people to choose to look after their mental health as otherwise you may end up being forced to look after it. Obviously, I'm not saying that you can always prevent these things but early intervention seems to have better outcomes.

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Frequency · 04/07/2026 18:47

UndertheCedartree · 04/07/2026 17:58

I agree. I'm sorry about your daughter and I hope she is getting some help and support.

Thank you. She is under a psychiatrist now and is doing much better. She has a part-time job in my friend's shop, which has helped her, in that she has a routine and it is building her confidence, but getting her to the point where she could do that was a long road. For the first few shifts, I had to go with her, or she physically could not bring herself to do it, even though she really wanted the job.

UndertheCedartree · 04/07/2026 18:46

LoafofSellotape · 04/07/2026 18:27

So no one rich has breakdowns? Utter nonsense.

Where did I say that?!

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UndertheCedartree · 04/07/2026 18:45

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 04/07/2026 18:25

Is the issue that people don't understand what happens to, say, single mums with no support if they breakdown? Obviously they can't leave the children so they tend to soldier on while struggling - so people equate 'being rich' with having plenty of support to be able to recover?

I think lack of understanding plays a big role. But from my view soldiering on risks a full breakdown where you will have no choice but to leave your children. I had all these fears myself. I guess it comes down to mental health still being quite a taboo subject and many people may not know someone who has been sectioned or even voluntarily hospitalised.

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BringBackCatsEyes · 04/07/2026 18:45

If 'breakdown' means being a danger to yourself or others then I don't think this is a state of mind you have a choice about, can 'soldier on' with or 'get over'.

CalliopeFosterBeauchamp · 04/07/2026 18:42

Meant to add to my long post above: the reason I went freelance was so I can work from home. I have days where I can’t eat or shower or where I can’t stop crying. If I’m at home, no one sees that so I can mask.

UndertheCedartree · 04/07/2026 18:41

Arregaithel · 04/07/2026 18:24

"psychiatric hospitals are not full of wealthy people"

They are probably in private facilities though tbf @UndertheCedartree

This is true but there are plenty of private hospitals full of NHS patients (I was in one) as there are not enough beds for NHS patients.

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CalliopeFosterBeauchamp · 04/07/2026 18:40

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 04/07/2026 18:25

Is the issue that people don't understand what happens to, say, single mums with no support if they breakdown? Obviously they can't leave the children so they tend to soldier on while struggling - so people equate 'being rich' with having plenty of support to be able to recover?

Yes, this

CalliopeFosterBeauchamp · 04/07/2026 18:39

I’ve had severe chronic depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation since I was 12. I’ve been on antidepressants (which keep the very worst of it at bay but will never ‘cure’ it) for 30 years. And I’ve recently been diagnosed with autism and PTSD.

I’ve often felt unable to work due to my mental health; certainly I struggle to socialise most of the time because of it. I’ve definitely had weeks where I’ve not been functioning: where I’ve struggled to get out of bed and have felt that I really needed help.

I’ve had two breakdowns - one in my early 20s where I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, and one in my 40s that led me to be diagnosed with PTSD. Both times I could only afford to take a few days off.

I’m now a freelancer so don’t get sick pay, but when I was working in a permanent role, I had so much time off with my mental health that I stopped receiving sick pay from my employer anyway. So I had to keep working, or I would have lost my home. I lived in London at the time and benefits wouldn’t have covered my bills and rent (I did look into it).

So in that sense, I do sort of disagree with your title. I guess if I’d been even more unwell than I was, I wouldn’t have been thinking of my home or my bills - but as it was, I thought “if I come out the other side if this, I’ll need somewhere to live”. The thought of putting my stuff into storage and what would happen if I gave up work (the admin and the cost of renting with bad references - that sort of thing) - was just beyond me. It was easier to just carry on. If I’d been wealthy, I’d have taken the time off I needed and not worried about anything other than my health.

I have a friend who has similar mental health problems to me. She lives in a flat that her dad has given to her, so doesn’t need to pay rent. She’s now stopped work altogether (in her 40s) because she’s not well enough to work - and I admit, I’m jealous that this is an option for her. She’s always saying to me that I need to take a break and I just say I can’t afford to.

I realise that at some point my mental health might get so bad that I’m forced into a complete break from work, but at the moment the fear of losing my home and belongings and also the administrative nightmare of getting back on my feet is what keeps me going.

Backedoffhackedoff · 04/07/2026 18:38

Arregaithel · 04/07/2026 18:24

"psychiatric hospitals are not full of wealthy people"

They are probably in private facilities though tbf @UndertheCedartree

I wouldn’t say that. It’s possible but very few people are hospitalised so the number of very wealthy in that is even smaller. Private facilities aren’t very good for life threatening mental illness

Frequency · 04/07/2026 18:38

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 04/07/2026 18:25

Is the issue that people don't understand what happens to, say, single mums with no support if they breakdown? Obviously they can't leave the children so they tend to soldier on while struggling - so people equate 'being rich' with having plenty of support to be able to recover?

What tends to happen if they are severely ill is they get sectioned and lose custody of their children, or in situations where they are very ill but not ill enough for authorities to notice, they start self-medicating with drugs/alcohol, and often they still end up losing their kids because of it, but with the bonus of being deemed scum by the general public.

No one who is seriously mentally ill is just getting on with it because they have no choice.

UndertheCedartree · 04/07/2026 18:37

BeigeCardigan · 04/07/2026 18:22

Personally, I think if you can still work and look after children and function and aren't being hospitalised you aren't maybe as unwell as you think.

That ignores the many of us with severe mental illness that can mask. We might look like we’re functioning but it all falls apart when no one is looking. We might go to work but not sleep for days, not wash ourselves, not eat, might be having delusions etc.

As I said I'm not saying that isn't serious and deserves all the empathy and support. I've been there and it's tough. I'm still there a lot of the time. But sometimes it becomes more serious to the point you can't mask anymore, you can't function atall, you've not slept for weeks, are underweight and frail from not eating and are psychotic and attempting (and sometimes completing) suicide. You fully breakdown and may be hospitalised for a long time. You do not have a choice to work or care for your children anymore. What I'm saying is we shouldn't be encouraged to 'just get on with it' because we aren't wealthy or have children until it gets to that point. As you say there are very real needs for treatment and support before it gets to that point.

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Lexibletheflexible · 04/07/2026 18:32

It's a simplistic way of talking about the very real phenomenon of poorer people having to normalise situational mental health conditions like depression and anxiety can be. Of course you are going to be depressed and anxious if you have to continually compete for basic resources and safety. That feeling of insecurity and apprehension becomes ordinary for poorer people and they can't afford to allow that to stop them trying to survive. They have to develop an inhuman resilience to it, but of course they do not.

They become ill. Mentally and physically. Their relationships suffer. Their dependents suffer. The illusion that they are "just getting on with it" is just that.

JabbaTheBeachHut · 04/07/2026 18:31

UndertheCedartree · 04/07/2026 17:59

It was on another Internet forum.

And did you challenge it on that forum?

I’m not sure anyone here wouldn’t already know that something which is clearly nonsense isn’t true?

BringBackCatsEyes · 04/07/2026 18:29

You need to define 'breakdown' OP.
What internet forum?

LoafofSellotape · 04/07/2026 18:27

So no one rich has breakdowns? Utter nonsense.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 04/07/2026 18:25

Is the issue that people don't understand what happens to, say, single mums with no support if they breakdown? Obviously they can't leave the children so they tend to soldier on while struggling - so people equate 'being rich' with having plenty of support to be able to recover?

Arregaithel · 04/07/2026 18:24

"psychiatric hospitals are not full of wealthy people"

They are probably in private facilities though tbf @UndertheCedartree

BeigeCardigan · 04/07/2026 18:22

Personally, I think if you can still work and look after children and function and aren't being hospitalised you aren't maybe as unwell as you think.

That ignores the many of us with severe mental illness that can mask. We might look like we’re functioning but it all falls apart when no one is looking. We might go to work but not sleep for days, not wash ourselves, not eat, might be having delusions etc.

UndertheCedartree · 04/07/2026 18:11

pillorinjection · 04/07/2026 18:00

I have never heard this. Also, how is a breakdown’ defined?

Not being able to function in normal life due to mental health.

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UndertheCedartree · 04/07/2026 18:09

mathanxiety · 04/07/2026 18:07

An internet forum.

Must be true then.

What do you mean? This was people's opinion. I have given mine. Why would I lie about it? If you don't want to discuss it you don't have to.

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UndertheCedartree · 04/07/2026 18:07

JJkate · 04/07/2026 17:58

Can anyone tell me what a breakdown actually is? I don't understand what it means.

It means when you are unable to function in normal life due to your mental health. Could be due to a range of mental illnesses like severe depression, GAD, Psychosis, Scizophrenia or Personality disorder as examples.

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mathanxiety · 04/07/2026 18:07

UndertheCedartree · 04/07/2026 17:59

It was on another Internet forum.

An internet forum.

Must be true then.

UndertheCedartree · 04/07/2026 18:05

Ponderingwindow · 04/07/2026 17:57

Breakdown in this context doesn’t mean sectioned. It means anything from taking a few days to yourself to getting signed off work.

someone on a zero hours contract can’t exactly get signed off for stress and still get paid.

If you have a mental breakdown you can't just choose to continue working either.

Maybe people just use the word 'breakdown' flippantly. But if you have a mental breakdown you aren't able to function in normal life at all. I would suggest you would need hospitalisation or at least some intense support to recover. Not take a few days to yourself.

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pillorinjection · 04/07/2026 18:00

I have never heard this. Also, how is a breakdown’ defined?

UndertheCedartree · 04/07/2026 17:59

Weeellokthen · 04/07/2026 17:56

Where did you "hear" this nonsense 😉

It was on another Internet forum.

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