Trans widow and feel so much pain for her

This. There’s absolutely no comparison.

Pretty sure "golf widows" don't get this level of pushback against their choice of terminology.

This.

No one is policing you. You are attempting to police how women refer to themselves.

Funny how males can refer to themselves however they want, but when women choose how they identify they are policed immediately. Like as if this isn't all about straight up misogyny.

Has he requested they call him that?

I could. In the blink of an eye.

Well, it applies to a name, not a person. In the same way that it would be different saying “my phone battery is dead” as opposed to “my mum is dead”.

@Thatannoyingone Intersex (now called people with DSDs - Differences in Sexual Development) are not a third sex or in between sex. They are still either male or female. Every DSD is sex specific and confirms the sex binary. Intersex/DSDs are not trans. Further, these people have repeatedly requested that they stop being weaponised in this discussion. Please respect their wishes.

@Thatannoyingone Black women are scientifically and biologically women in every cell of their body.
Anyone claiming that only white white women were biologically and scientifically female were demonstably wrong and and were if course bigots.

Transmen are scientifically and biologically male in every cell of their body. Anyone stating that "transwomen" are men are expressing scientific and biological reality , not bigotry.

OP, the vast majority of it is a midlife crisis. For many (not all, of course) it is a sexual fetish. Google 'AGP' and you will understand more.

I would not indulge him, in fact, I would be so disgusted at what he is doing to his wife but children especially, that I could not associate with him again. I'd cut him out of my life. Don't feed it or encourage it. I would just stop being friends with him.

WRONG! As per biology and the Supreme Court ruling transwomen are MALE with PENIS AND TESTICLES. They are men, male, in every single way. This, sure as shit aint a woman:

She sort of is.
She married a man.
The man apparently no longer exists as they are a "woman".

If your male husband no longer exists, you are to all practical intents , a widow.

It's different because he is expecting his children to see him as a mother. Their whole childhood has been changed and redefined. That's why 'trans' is not a victimless action.

Poor Martin Niemöller, murdered by Nazis only for his words to be used by every dimwit too stupid to argue their case in their own words to shut other people down.

So what does the definition of gender have to do with the sex terms man and woman?

Intersex people?

Are you saying intersex people are a third sex?
This is so insulting.

It’s 2026 not 2020, these old tropes using people with disorders of sexual development to prove that there are more than 2 sexes sounds absolutely ridiculous.

Explain what you mean about intersex people proving there isn’t just men and women please?

I have a trans nephew/ niece. I’m okay with that, my love and support hasn’t wavered. But there is something I don’t understand and maybe someone on Mumsnet can help me out. For instance, a man believes that he is really a woman in a man’s body. Sex being biological, but gender a social construct. Sexual attraction apparently beside the point. I hope I’ve got that right. So, you’re Bob. Lived your whole life as a male. At 43 years old you have an epiphany! Genitalia be damned! You’re actually a woman. You take estrogen shots, dress in conventionally feminine ways, maybe have top surgery and so on. You chose a new name for your new identity. No longer Bob, you are Antoinette. You identify as a trans woman. Here’s my question, why always the prefix “trans”? Okay Bob/ Antionette is a woman, either you are or you aren’t. The “trans” after the person has fully transitioned is superfluous. So, why? Why wouldn’t Antoinette just be a woman instead of a trans woman if that was the person’s identity all along, even if they just realized it?

Oh ffs don't be ridiculous.

Men are not a kind of woman. No humans can change sex.

That has nothing to do with rightful inclusion of actual women

In Nax* Germany the first people that were targeted weren't Jews they were Trans people, they burnd the all the progressive research books and took the trans people to the camps. not true. Yes they destroyed the Hirschfeld institute, but Hirschfeld was a Jew.

This is my last response here, if anyone sees this there is a poem from WW2 First They Came by Martin Niemöller highly recommend reading it. yes, a brilliant poem. But what's it got to do with trans people?

God the number of transphobic people on this site is nauseating.

yes, there is a loss with transitioning. You lose your old friend and gain a new one. Jess will need loads of love and support because she is grieving her future she has missed out on. Her husband can’t see her without remembering the difficulty of life before transitioning, repressing herself for the sake of being treated as a human. Therapy would be good for them both seperately.

Ah. I get what you mean by my comment above.

Gender expression is how you present yourself, this can be informed by socially agreed stereotypes, I.e. woman wear dresses and men trousers in very basic crude understanding. Gender is what's between your ears, your own understanding of your self, a completely subjective experience to each own person, and can be informed by these other parts or be independent of them.

The differences are important as even though we have a stereotypical idea of what a "woman" might be or a "man" most people will not meet all on the same points on all of these, i.e a man wearing a skirt is no less of a man in a suit. A masculine woman is no Les of a woman than a feminine woman. Their experience experience is unique to them.

If you understand yourself as a woman, and that makes you happy or feel at peace with yourself then congratulations you know your gender. If it dosnt, exploring it to gain a better understanding of it will soon allow you to see for yourself what it is.

For simplicity sake I kept this to binary genders but it applies to the whole spectrum, and each of these individual points above are also spectrums. There is no singular answer that fits all, just what fits you.

They're loads of books explaining this far greater than I ever could, I recommend reading Gender Trouble by Judith Butler.