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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to worry my retired parents never want to go out?

309 replies

Bluebell12378 · 04/07/2026 12:39

My parents are in late 60s / early 70s. Retired with a good pension, mortgage paid off and recently got a decent sum of inheritance. They are still fit and well with good health. And living comfortably financially.

But they don’t DO anything. They don’t go on holidays or trips away anymore. They don’t go for evenings out or even meals out. They just seem to sit at home doing the same routine day in and day out. Occasionally they might see friends (once a month maybe?). They will usually come out with me and my kids if we invite them somewhere. But apart from that they just sit at home.

Even when we do invite them out or over to ours, I can’t help but feel they are anxiously waiting to leave and go home. We will only ever see them for a couple of hours at a time and then they make their excuses and leave. They NEVER invite us anywhere or suggest doing anything with the grandkids, unless it’s to come to their house for a meal.

Up until a few years ago they did used to go on holidays and go out a bit more. I used to socialise and do fun things with my Mum a lot too (spa days, shopping, theatre). I don’t really understand what has happened to make it stop. If me or DH hint at asking if they’re planning to go away or have anything planned they get all funny and defensive. Or use their dog as an excuse for not being able to go out.

is this normal as you enter later years of life? Could they genuinely happy and content just staying home all the time?. I can’t help but feel they are wasting the last healthy years of their life.

In comparison my similarly aged in-laws are the complete opposite. Always going out to the theatre, gigs, cinema, restaurants, going on trips and holidays. Really making the most of life and retirement! They love doing fun activities with the grandkids too like swimming etc.

OP posts:
TheIdlerReturns · 04/07/2026 13:07

This is a bit like the post where the OP's parents (in their 60s) sit in the house watching GB News on the telly all day, berating Kier Starmer. Maybe some are just naturally more active in later years, but others enjoy the peace and ease of being at home. Are they into gardening?

Bristolandlazy · 04/07/2026 13:05

Larrythecatforpm · 04/07/2026 12:42

Not normal, my retired parents are barely home they are always off caravaning with their dog. My nan is late 80s and rarely home too always has some sort of plans.

Your relatives are not everyone!

Loulou4022 · 04/07/2026 13:05

If they’re happy I wouldn’t worry too much. Frustratingly my parents are on holiday 3 weeks on the trot and I’m looking after their bloody fussy cats!! While getting lots of messages and photos about their wonderful holidays! While I slaving my arse off at work!!

LilacHam · 04/07/2026 13:02

Some people are just happier at home.

I'm one of them and inherited it from my Dad.

My Step-Mum died a few years back and she'd been unwell for years so I expected my Dad to take the opportunity to have holidays or days out again but no, he doesn't want to go anywhere and he is the happiest I've seen him.

Iloveeverycat · 04/07/2026 12:55

Not retired yet but sounds nothing wrong with it if they are happy. What sort of routines do they have. I would probably only be worried if they just sat and watch TV all day. They have a dog so must go out walking. You said they never invite you anywhere or to do things what do you mean by that. I would just assume you had a busy life of your own. Do your kids ever go to see grandparents on their own to play at their house.

catslovehairties · 04/07/2026 12:44

Larrythecatforpm · 04/07/2026 12:42

Not normal, my retired parents are barely home they are always off caravaning with their dog. My nan is late 80s and rarely home too always has some sort of plans.

How can you say it's not normal based on a sample size of 3? 😂

UniquePinkSwan · 04/07/2026 12:43

Some people just like being home. I’m like that. I barely do anything at the weekend.

Larrythecatforpm · 04/07/2026 12:42

Not normal, my retired parents are barely home they are always off caravaning with their dog. My nan is late 80s and rarely home too always has some sort of plans.

catslovehairties · 04/07/2026 12:41

My dad is exactly like this whereas my mum is like your in-laws. They both seem very happy.

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