AIBU to worry my retired parents never want to go out?

Not normal for your parents. Mine are like this. My grandparents were like this. It sounds pretty good to me in my retirement. If OP’s parents are happy, that’s all that matters.

Some people just like a quiet easy life especially after having worked the daily grind of 9-5. Maybe they feel they don’t want to impose on you so don’t ask? Maybe they just want to stay at home. Maybe they worry about being taken ill whilst away on hol (you do get less confident as you get older getting out and about) As long as they are healthy and happy and not hurting anyone I can’t see that your comments are valid. Leave them to it they’re obviously comfortable staying at home.

There's a lot to be said for being at peace with your lot in life.

I think it's societal, ageism in other words. Albeit unconsciously.

You know how people start to treat the very elderly like children? Talking to them in patronising ways and interfering?

This is the start of the shift I think. Once someone gets into their 60s often their DC start acting like they are the parent, not the child. Not liking how the parents spend their time, not liking what they watch on TV or what they eat, how they behave or what they complain about.

MN is full of it. My brother does it with my Mum. Will text me 'worried' about how many Amazon parcels she gets, all the 'crap' (in his opinion) she buys or how much time she spends on Facebook/Tiktok. He gets really annoyed when I point out she's a 70 year old compos mentis adult who still works part-time and can do WTF she likes with her time and money and she's neither demented nor a child.

I'm 37 and would find two toddlers very stressful, lol. We're all different.

Let them live as they choose to.

My PIL are like this. My DS is 9 and they’ve never once been on a day out with him. They just do nothing! I said to DH I never want to be like that. My GPs used to be out in the car all the time!

you know how teenagers think anyone over 25 is really boring ? And people in their twenties think people over 40 are really boring? Well….. this is the same, but tier 3. You are middle aged, thinking late middle aged/ elderly is really boring.

Same as my dad and stepmum, with the addition of copious amounts of alcohol. Quite sad but they seem happy

Maybe they're addicted to Mumsnet?

I think many posters don't realise that the over 60s have been here since the beginning of time Mumsnet. We have no intention of sloping off the Gransnet!

That will be me and I can’t flipping wait! Just hope one of my daughters doesn’t feel the need to start a thread on Mumsnet about it!

When did this change for your parents? You said ‘up until a few years ago’. Do you think Covid changed things for them?

My parents were/are similar (also similar ages). They had been retired for a couple of years before Covid and were very active/busy. They socialised a lot and did a lot of voluntary work at their Church and in the local community. All of this obviously stopped with Covid, but they’ve never really gone back to how they were before.

They are happy enough, but I’m sure if Covid had never happened, they’d still be doing all the things they were before.

I just try to make sure I invite them to do things with us as often as possible, as they usually say yes (and I like their company). But it makes me a bit sad to see how much their world has shrunk since Covid times.

I run a coffee morning for a small group of older ladies that I’ve befriended over the years, most of whom have become widowed within recent years.

What I will say to the OP is that when one partner dies, the remaining partner can go downhill quickly if they don’t have any outside interests and friends supporting them. In your shoes, I’d be encouraging them to keep up their friendships.

Some people are extroverts. Some are not. Many are in between the two.
But as you age many people do not have the energy they had when they were 45 or even 55. Someone who is an extrovert will keep seeking out social activities. Others, less so. Being an introvert doesn’t mean you have any neurological problems.
Travelling can be hard work. And not particularly pleasant or guaranteed fun. Packing, airports, queues, cancelled planes, cruises full of stag and hens. Or naff rooms. Poor travel agents for long haul that cost a fortune. Countries that don’t want you to visit. Extra costs. Wars in other places that impact on travelling. Insurance costs will increase too.
Restaurants and pubs can be nice to go to. But expensive.
So no, sometimes people don’t go out all the time.
They may not have a state pension at 60 +. At 70 they will. Even with other money they have they may be constantly weighing up leisure spending and practical must spends on say home maintenance or a car.

They are not wasting their life. No. They have lived a lot of it already.

As long as they’re genuinely happy, ok. The problem there is if anything happens to one of them.

Very similar situation to my Dad. My Step-Mum was the one that really wanted the holidays etc and he enjoyed them too but did it for her benefit. He never loved clothes/house shopping or going out with her friends and their partners but ddi it for her.

Since she's died he's happier than I've ever seen him. Not because he didn't love her, or because he doesn't miss her but because now in his 70s he can do exactly what he likes when he likes for the 1st time. He married my Mum at 19, split in early 30s was single for 6 months before meeting my Step-Mum then with her for 35 years. Never lived alone or did his own thing.

His true nature has come out now and he likes doing not much - looking after the garden, house and the dog and watching sports and that's okay.

I’m 50 and would find going out with a 1 yr old and a 2 yr old very stressful

Really? Early 70s maybe but you're only 50. I'm a decade older than you and would happily take them out.

Could you think of it as their having earned the right to live their lives they way they want to?

some people like to stay at home, others don’t. Why not be glad for them that they get to do what they want?

If it was you alone, or with DP and you could do exactly what you wanted all the time, staying home might be more appealing

Ah, back to the early days, with long leisurely lie ins, reading the news over brunch and having sex whenever you want 😉

It’s not really surprising the aren’t keen going out with your children. I’m 50 and would find going out with a 1 yr old and a 2 yr old very stressful. They are probably exhausted from looking after them. You’re young and are used to your children but trust me you quickly get un used to being around small children after your own grow up and it’s exhausting to be around them however much we love them and want to be with them.

My in laws are the same since COVID, although they are in their 80s now. I think my FIL needs fast access to a bathroom and my MIL gets arthritis pain. But i think mostly they werent very social before lockdowns but that just changed their behaviour for good.

But, they are happy

It could be the dog if it's getting a bit older and they're worried about leaving them in case something happens.

If they're happy just let them be.

Absolutely. I'm 37 and my perfect weekend involves doing bugger all in my own home 😂

Staying in is the new going out 😁