AIBU to expect my partner to share weekend family time and childcare?

Sure. But "part time" doesn't mean half full time hours, just less than full time hours. Which this is. Especially annualised given the 13 weeks off a year

Child’s father already does more than 50%

But that isn't his dc? He isn't who you are co-parenting with. This sounds like a pretty appropriate step-parent relationship to me.

If you want to reduce how much you care for your ds, you need to see if his df is willing to become the main carer I guess.

A&E doctors are one of the most stressful occupations out there. Constant string of patients in various states, pressure, NHS underfunding, people dying while you're trying to save them. A&E doctors are at higher risk of burnout and even suicide.

Normally I would say he needs to pull his weight around the house but in this case let the man rest and recover from what he's seen all day

YABU.

He’s not your son’s parent and isn’t going to assume that responsibility. You’re being unreasonable to expect that from
him, and unreasonable to resent him having more free time. Of course he has more than you, he doesn’t have a child.

YANBU at all - either he's a part of the family and acts like it, or he doesn't get to live with you.

I had a disinterested "step father" and his rejection (though present in the house every day) was horrendous for my and my dsis's self-esteem. Kids blame themselves, they believe they're simply not good enough.

This could have a terrible effect on your son.

It might not quite be 35 hours a week but it’s certainly not part tIme as in a 16-20 hour job! And as I said, I don’t know any TA that rolled in at their start time and then buggered off at 3.30.

I’ve told him if we have children I’ll be having lie ins and he can do all the get ups like I’ve been doing now!

This would be very unreasonable of you as that would be a shared child. I do think it would be nice if your DP could let you have a lay in occasionally and get up with you son, however, he’s made it clear he won’t. Do I think he’s a little bit of a dick to seemingly not be considerate? Yes BUT it’s still your child and not his and therefore solely your responsibility. If he doesn’t want to help/do more then you either accept is graciously or go your separate ways.

I think you have a lot of resentment for your DP and you are storing up problems for the future. It wouldn’t be wise to have a child together as sounds like you would just use them to ‘point score’ which frankly isn’t acceptable.

i think you should speak with DS dad and see if you can swap arrangements so you get some weekend days to do adult things.

You are being totally unreasonable. Your child isn’t DPs. He doesn’t have to get up early and look after him or give up any of his freedoms to do family things. He doesn’t have any children.

I can't see how having a child together would be a good idea, as your DS would clearly be treated differently.

Your DP is not wrong in that your DS is your responsibility, but IMO, if you move in with someone who has children, then you do need to accept the fact you become a step-parent, and with that comes "family time" and actually doing things with/for the DC.

You both need to have a serious talk about your future as a couple/family.

I think the key is compromise? Are you in a committed relationship? If so, he needs to spend some family time with you/son and some time doing what he pleases.

Ultimately son is your responsibility and not his. Does he want to be in this family unit? Maybe not. Time for a discussion on your future I think.

If you aren't happy why don't you ask your ex to have your child say one weekend a month and you have them mon - fri

If you want a break, a lie in, support with your child at the weekend, speak to your child's father about it and get him to step up at weekends. The failing of his dad not stepping up at weekends is not your boyfriends fault or responsibility. If you agreed to having him every weekend then suck it up or find some other man to play daddy.

Whose house are you all living in?

Have you any idea how much enhancements are worth over a weekend? I know lots of people working in the NHS and other jobs, who won't give up their weekend working.
@Mummsymun he's picked to live with you, not to be a family. He isn't interested in your DS, or life with a young child. There's a poster on here who has just ended her marriage. For some reason she never got her head around that her DD, was viewed as her's, not family. When a child gets to around 10, they are aware and upset by that. So I take it DP's family aren't involved either? If you have a child with him, there will be a complete difference in how they are treated, funded and inheritance. It sounds to me that you'll do, for now.

As someone with very low self worth, these type of posts always intrigue me. You’re a single parent with a modest job. Your boyfriend has a career he’s studied years to achieve and a good career trajectory. What level of self confidence do you have to possess to think that you’re getting a bad deal here because he won’t parent your child, of whom incidentally you only have 50% care.

Care of your DC should be managed between you and his dad. You need to change the arrangements order if it’s not working.

I would not expect a partner to take on a parenting role for my DC. I also wouldn’t leave my DC with them even if they offered because you can never really 100% know someone.

Also op, since he doesn’t see you as a family, as is his right 2 years in to a relationship, it was quite unfair of you on your son, to move him in to your home so that they are establishing a relationship, when you should have worked out sooner that he just sees you as a girlfriend. When this ends, and that could come from either of you, your ds will be quite confused.

It will be awkward if you have children with him. Your son will be very much second best.
I didnt date anyone until my son was grown up. I didnt want DS to feel second best or unwanted.

He's your boyfriend of two years and not the father of your child - you're essentially not a family. It does sound like you expect him to behave, and take on the responsibilities, of a husband and father.

It might be worth it to consider if you have a future when he is clearly not interested in taking on your son. He just wants you. If you are okay with that, and feel that your son already has a father and doesn't need someone else to step in and take on that role, then great. If not, then this guy might just not be for you.

I suggest DP leaves you as you are far too needy and clingy.

The child is not his, you don't work full time, you have the child only half the week.

No idea why youre tired. Get your bloods checked.

No idea why youre so needy, see a Counsellor

So your son’s dad never has him at the weekend ? This is the issue you want to address !

Literally read the posts though, they do many ‘family’ activities together and he only occasionally plans a day with his friend!

Sorry but if the child’s ACTUAL father is getting his weekends free, I don’t bloody blame your partner for having the attitude that he does!!

Im a TA myself and I really don’t think you can call it stressful in the same breath as an a&e Dr. 😅 I’d be well refreshed by the weekend if I didn’t have my dc to look after on top for most of the week. I’d also be keen to spend 1:1 time with dc when they’d been awaymost of the week. The fact he joins in with family stuff sometimes is fine surely? He’s definitely entitled to a lie in and to meet friends and shouldn’t feel responsible for your ds when he has a father who is doing so 50% of the week. Maybe you need to look at a different parenting split to give you some weekends?