AIBU to expect my partner to share weekend family time and childcare?

This child is yours, not his. He is quite rightly setting boundaries. If you stay together and have a child, that child would be half his, and therefore both your responsibility. Given he doesn’t have children, and has a very responsible job, I would agree he deserves a lie in at weekends. No way would I be getting up for someone else’s child at weekends after a hectic week.

I tell you what, when you've qualified for medical school, run up tens of thousands of student debt, qualified as a doctor and worked full time in A and bloody E...

Then, and only then can you tell him he doesn't deserve a lie in on a Saturday.

Change pattern ds is with dad. Share weekends

I hope you’re not telling a Dr in A&E that your job as a TA doing 9am-3pm is extremely stressful. I don’t think his will be a walk in the park.

Can you imagine the death and destruction a Doctor in A&E is dealing with day to day? No wonder the poor bloke wants to chill out.

At the end of the day, he doesn’t have a kid, you do, for half the week.

It's even worse than that - the "nanny with a fanny" is usually not financially supporting them too!

Just saying that women often complain on here if they're dating a man with a child, and he expects her to parent that child.
Not saying either way is wrong-it's really up to the couple to decide. Some people think a step-parent should effectively be exactly the same as a "normal" mum or dad. Some people think they shouldn't be. Either way, you both need to discuss and agree on what you're doing, for the chlid's sake.

Absolutely. A man would be accused of wanting a "nanny with a fanny" (disgusting expression). The DP is respecting that her child is not his child.

You sound like you think being an ED Dr is as stressful as being a TA ? 🤨
He’s your child, if he’s such a burden give him to his dad and have him EOW?
I wouldn’t be having anymore children.
I’ve worked in ED on and off since 1999 , which Drs don’t work weekends?

But it’s not 50% of the weekends! The weekends are all falling on OP. To make it fairer they need to work contact so each parent has 1 weekend day or dad is getting all his weekends feee and mum isn’t. The issue shouldn’t be her DP helping her it should be the child’s dad doing some of the weekends

If you are jealous of the freedom your childless DP has, maybe you could ask XP if he could have DS more?

Yes indeed. Especially following that remark about their potential child...

He needs to run for the hills.

In a way, this kind of self worth is to be admired in a woman, as it’s definitely what men do!

Not a great attitude. I tell you what, you follow a Friday shift in A&E and decide whether or not, on balance, you'd like to lie in until 10am on a Saturday.

There was a women posting recently saying her dp expected her to get up and share childcare for his kids and not see her friends when they are there.

its totally reasonable he should do as he pleases as long as he pulls his weight in the house but its also ok for you to want a more hands on partner. It’s also a bit crap he will never babysit he’s definitely not a team player. And It sounds like you are not compatible in your long term plans.
And of course theres a concern he wont pull his weight if you two have kids definitely something to be concerned about

Nobody is confused at the situation, confused as to why your ds dad gets EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND OFF and you don't see a issue with it yet see a huge issue in your dp spending his time off with his friends instead of looking after your ds so you can go out?

Me too!

I have pretty solid self esteem but I cannot imagine thinking I had a bad deal in this situation.

She gets -

Weekdays finishing work in the middle of the afternoon with no childcare duties

Some full days to herself in school holidays (not entirely clear how many but if the ex is doing 50:50, quite a lot)

A doctor boyfriend financially supporting her and her child, spending time with them at weekends

A mother who steps in when the 50% of time she has with her child is too much

And somehow she's complaining that she has to get up with her own child and her boyfriend isn't realising that she is the one with the dreadfully stressful job and needs her rest!

Poor kid - you only have him half the week. Why don’t you want to wake up with him?!

Moved in far too soon

My self esteem is fine but I still think exactly this 😆

I think he's being honest but it sounds harsh because it probably doesn't fit with your idea of what you want your life together to be like. As others have said he has a gf with a child. He likes the child, he's kind to him but he's not his dad. Your child already has a dad. I appreciate that it's hurtful to think that he doesn't want to spend all his time with you and your child and it may be that this isn't the bloke for you at the end of the day.

Sounds like you need to talk to him about what his boundaries are? You can sort it out if you communicate clearly. Use weekend to enjoy time with your kid, groups, trips out cause he's making it rightly clear he's not there to take on responsibility. But, you can have a discussion around expectations I. E. Your Parent rushed to hospital, will he watch kid then? If your extremely sick, will he watch over them? If he's in your house you really should know his level of commitment or care. If he's just wanting to be your partner 50% of the time, you need to be honest about how it's making you feel and if it's working for you.
If your getting his meals and clothes ready around his free weekend you need to think what signals your sending out also

I hope @NewDogOwner OP doesn’t have another child with this man. His DS lives with him. So…if he becomes dad of the year to his own child then it is going to be awful for his DS.
But I imagine he will just be hands off with all of them.

Sorry OP but I think you are bring massively unreasonable. DS is your responsibility not your DPs.

you get loads of free time when DS is with his dad. And sounds like you do have some family time with Dp at the weekend.

DP has every right to want to see friends as well as spending time with you and your DS.

what do you do with your time when DS is at his dads?

I think you’ll find that these types of posters are the CFs we hear lots about 😂