AIBU to worry about my sister’s pregnancy risks at 46?

What difference would it make if she didn’t want to abort the baby?

My grandmother, my auntie and my sister all had babies in their mid-40s. all went fine. she’s got to 24 weeks so hopefully all will go well for her too.

The biggest issue at that age is getting pregnant in the first place and not miscarrying in the first 12 weeks, she’s got past those hurdles this time miraculously so just be pleased for her. Abnormalities is the next biggest potential issue but I take it she’s had her scans and they’ve not picked up anything obvious. Past that I wouldn’t be overly concerned about the slight increased risks of GDM etc. I take it she’s hasn’t tested positive for glucose in her urine, not measuring excessively big etc or may consider the testing for GDM if she did get any of those signs? As for the screening for downs etc, it’s something women have to think about carefully as an amnio/CVS is the only thing that would give her a definitive result but does carry a risk of miscarriage so she perhaps doesn’t want to go down that road

I'm pregnant with my 4th child at 42, I'll be 43 by the time I give birth. I've had 3 other uneventful pregnancies and so far this is exactly the same (I'm also 24 weeks). I am midwife led and have also been offered growth scans and a GTT due to my age, I'm actually low risk though. I paid for a private NIPT very early on, but this is the only baby I have done this with as our other children it wouldnt have made any difference if anything came up high risk. If a high risk result wouldn't lead her to having a diagnostic test and potentially having a termination if anything came back well a NIPT would be an expensive unnecessary test (I paid £400 for mine). If you are generally healthy, normal weight there's no reason why you can't carry a baby to term at 46, your chances of an early miscarriage are very high due to chromosomal abnormalities, but she's 24 weeks now and will have had an anomaly scan which would pick anything major up such as heart defects, issues with brain development or issues with growth etc which would point towards chromosomal abnormalities or any major syndromes, not everything shows on a scan but the main ones a basic NIPT would screen for would have markers on a scan at 20 weeks.

I really think your worry is misplaced, she's pregnant and has a continuing pregnancy, there really isn't any point in wasting your energy on worrying.

I knew someone who had a healthy baby at 46 with no detriment to her health either. She was very happy as far as I could tell. Fingers crossed that all goes well.

I'd rather do something unpleasant like drinking a disgustingly sweet drink than risk my health or my baby's health. Wouldn't you?

I don’t know any 46 year olds but I know a handful of 43 / 44 year old women that have conceived naturally and had problem free pregnancies.

They have made it look a doddle to be honest.

That is good. Just be there for her. I'm sure she will be fine.

I was pregnant at age 46 and had gestational diabetes. Was so shocked at the time as I felt fine. I was monitored closely and also self-monitored (fingerprick test to check glucose levels) and managed to control it through diet. Once i'd given birth (induction on the due date) I was fine plus the baby was fine too. I don't know why your sister wouldn't get the test - it involved drinking lucozade (which I hate) and waiting around the hospital a few hours but that's all.and safer for the baby to be monitored.

Friend at 50.
First baby.
Was monitored alot.
Had a natural birth mother and baby did well.

Little girl is now 7.

My gran had my mum naturally at 49. All good.

I had my last baby at 43. I had a C section but that was due to issues from a previous birth, not my age.
Friend had her one and only baby at 46 all was well. Several of my great and great great grandmothers had a last baby at 45/46.
The risks are higher but most women will still have a healthy pregnancy if it proceeds. Miscarriage risk is higher.
The stats are meaningless on an individual level though, as it’s either going to be fine, or things might go wrong, which is true for every pregnancy. Of course you will be a bit more worried but hopefully all will be well. A close friend of mine was born when her Mum was 47, in 1962, so no monitoring.

You must have had a different version to me. I just had to drink Lucozade & walk round the hospital. No shitting or vomiting involved!

She's concerned for her sister because she cares... Why is that unreasonable?? as long as she doesn't pass any anxiety on to her.

Not unreasonable to have concerns but make sure she doesn't know you're worrying, last thing you want is to cause her to get anxious. The fact she conceived naturally is a great sign and shows she's physically fit enough to conceive and be pregnant at 46. If she is generally fit and healthy there is no reason she can't have a healthy pregnancy and birth. She's not old. She may not want the downs syndrome test because it doesn't make a difference to her if baby has it or not. I'd encourage her to have the gestational diabetes tests as that's important for any pregnant woman and the baby.

Absolutely this. How awful. Especially if she’s been through miscarriages. Can’t you just be happy for her?! I’ve had numerous family and friends have babies between 45 and 50 with zero issues.

I had a baby at 44, and sailed through the pregnancy compared to my pregnancy at 33.

I didn't have the test for Downs Syndrome as it had a small risk to it and I would have kept the baby anyway so it seemed pointless having it (I was slightly younger that the age you have stated but it still wouldn't have made any difference). There is a risk to all pregnancies but I don't think that worrying about it will make it any better.

Is she being offered NIPT because routine screening came back high risk? The NHS doesn’t routinely offer NIPT unless there’s risk factors or high risk on combined screening. Or maybe she’s abroad. Did she decline the whole lot, including checking for trisomy 13 and 18? These two (compared to downs) have much higher risks, including risks that you won’t carry the pregnancy to its end (ie risk baby isn’t born alive). Those are not things I’d necessarily think not knowing would be helpful.

Re the Geststional diabetes - age is a risk factor, so is ethnicity, bmi, family history, etc. there’s probably more. Not everyone has a horrid experience of it, I did not find mine particularly difficult or unpleasant. They only do morning appointments for this and it was simple enough for me to get the drink down. But there is a lot of fearmongering and “fake science” going around about these things.

is she engaging in the rest of her routine care?

How amazing for her, she must be thrilled. Lovely for you to be concerned. As she’s over 40 she’ll have a consultant led birth and they won’t let her go over 40 weeks due to increased risk of still birth. I was 42 when I gave birth and induced at 38 weeks. I had very good care. In short the NHS will absolutely know the risks and support her

Yiu are right to be worried because the risks are much bigger at that age. However worrying won’t change anything.

The bit that would bother me would be the refusing screening. If she has a disabled child, what is her plan for the child if something happens to her (your sister?) It would not be fair if you were expected to pick up and look after them, unless you wanted to. That is 100% not something I would want to have to contend with. But I’m not sure there’s any way to broach that without causing great offence.
Could you perhaps gently encourage her to attend the screenings? The risk of Downs is far higher with age.

Risks of Down’s and similar and also miscarriage increase with maternal age. My friend (late 20s) has old parents (they were mid-late 40s when she was born), similar age to my grandparents. She was born prem and has issues with some organs. I worry about losing my grandparents to old age and she’s worrying about her parents.

Her baby, her business 🤷‍♀️

This is what this forum is for, it’s anonymous and people can be concerned about family members and seek support! That’s not judgmental

There’s some utter shite on this thread from multiple posters about the GTT.
It’s not a fucking safeguarding risk to not want to needlessly fill your body with sugar until you vomit and shit yourself at the same time. It’s a nasty archaic test and shouldn’t be routine. It was pushed on me as routine with both PGs and I wish I’d been brave enough to refuse it.

Women have agency over their bodies and are not vessels for babies FFS. If she gets symptoms or has risk factors that’s a different matter.

I also refused NIPT with DC1 (and it wasn’t even available in the country where I had DC2) which horrified the consultant. Some of them are obsessed with it.