AIBU to be cross about school dismissing my daughter's severe periods?

Definitely seek medical help but to be honest so many GPs are shockingly ignorant when it comes to women's reproductive health. They also tend to treat the symptoms (e.g. painkillers for pain) rather than the underlying issues (e.g. hormonal imbalance).

I recommend reading 'the fifth vital sign' by Lisa Hendrickson for a very clear explanation of what can be done to support issues such as pmdd or endometriosis and at least make them a bit more bearable.

Is it possible for you to just go private straight away op? Might save years of trial and error with the gp. Unfortunately I've found very few actually take this seriously.

Many of the pills never worked for me particularly because I would be throwing up. What has helped is having children although my periods are not a walk in the park at least as an adult I can wfh and manage them. I just had days off at school because it was no environment to be in. Because I'd be throwing up all sorts of rumours would go around that I was pregnant or bulimic/bled through my clothes- having a miscarriage. School was just awful with understanding it.
University and work have been far more accommodating.
So sorry for your daughter I really hope there's a solution for her soon.

It’s not uncommon. It happened in my friends daughters case for her periods.

My son had some health issues that started in year 10. He had a letter from the GP and 2 from hospital consultants. We were still harassed about his attendance.

Many teen girls will have endometriosis or other conditions that will not yet be known about, probably til they’re in their 20s if they’re one of the ‘lucky’ ones, probably more likely to be in their 30s. Schools need to realise this. Even when they’re told that ibuprofen doesn’t work, schools don’t listen, that’s the point. They only care about their attendance figures.
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The school are ignoring the medical reports from a doctor?

No, the school says normal period pains can be treated with ibuprofen. This is correct. Are you suggesting all women who have periods should have special adjustments?

The school have said nothing about anyone with a diagnosed medical condition relating to their periods.

No advise but navigating the same and really pisssed off at the school.

Been there with my dd, needed a solution before GCSEs due to time off with cramps and migraines.

In brief, she had blood tests and ultrasound scans to check for underlying issues.
Nothing was found. She's been taking zaletta mini pill and mefenamic acid which has helped a lot.

Find a helpful GP ( interestingly, not always the female ones) and insist.

Could you get a doctors note? That should be enough for the school to authorise days off for her period

my mother didn’t take my periods seriously. Turns out I’ve been anaemic for decades, getting progressively sicker until I was forced to stop and take a break.
I also have PMDD and chronic menorrhagia, with debilitating migraines and dealing with all that and a lack of compassion made school a nightmare.
Please do the right thing and stand up for your daughter so she doesn’t have to go through what I have as a child, teen and now an adult!

What are heavy periods? https://share.google/oe15dAfQOMYn65em2 there's some useful tips in here on what to think about before a GP appointment

The school says they can be treated with ibuprofen (which isn’t really true) and then confiscate her ibuprofen. Complete BS.

Ok

Why does that paragraph make you angry? Is endo the same as a normal period? The school aren't saying that a diagnosed medical condition should just be treated with painkillers. They're saying normal periods can be treated with painkillers. Are they wrong?

You're getting me confused with @FeralWoman. My dd is 9. And yes, as described earlier, we are well known to camhs and have undertaken all other interventions.

I am not going to add to the suggestions about seeking medical advice etc.

Some young women at school lying about periods and their impact, especially to avoid sport, has not helped. Gives those who don't understand or care about women's gynaecological issues ammunition to ignore them or not take them seriously.

Also, I'm a secondary school teacher. My school would give the medication from reception. Our receptionists are trained first aiders. Your daughter could also carry medication and heat pads in her bag.

I will look up schools' guidance on giving medication.

I would keep her off every time she needs painkillers to function and write neutrally on the absence reporting form "I am keeping DD at home as she requires painkillers which you will not permit in school".

I think this and the clothing issue merits a formal.complaint.

When you go to the GP please impress upon them the impact it is having on her daily life-missing school, anxiety around leakage etc.

You need to get the ball rolling now as it’s trial and error sometimes with meds and the gynae referrals are a long wait. She will have her GCSEs coming up and she can’t miss school on an exam day

By 4? You'd exhausted all avenues?

Many children are prescribed them and for many it is effective, so there is clearly a route available to those who have exhausted other avenues first - which we have. Personally, I'd rather have a time limited, well monitored trial of medication (having failed with non medicated avenues) than continue to witness the far worse devastating effect of seeing and hearing my 9yo dd repeatedly using suicidal language, being unable to engage with education or even the same normal life activities that her peers are able to enjoy.

Ah makes sense.

Yeah I'm anti serious brain altering medication for anyone who doesnt need it, but especially kids.

You can buy tranexamic acid OTC. It's not cheap but may give her some relief. I was kicking myself for not trying it earlier as I had always had terrible periods. It really was fantastic for me and brought them back to manageable.

Take her back to the GP and request a female doctor if you had a male last time. Explain in detail everything she is experiencing, and the school’s stance. If they don’t respond supportively, ask to be referred to a specialist. She may need a contraceptive of some sort to calm it down.

Nah dont blame school.refusal on parents refusing to medicate kids. We had a lot of unhappy kids in schools for generations and they still went or they didnt go and very often found something as productive to do with their time in terms of learning a skill.

And in fact, any school refusing child i do know personally who is now on such meds hasn't gone back to school. They're more depressed and isolated in their rooms, making life hell at home for family, and yes, notably bigger than they were.

I think we have to look at why we are producing such anxious children and it is more to do with how we parent now.

Go to the GP and ask for mefenamic acid for n the first instance. This is a stronger painkiller. If that doesn’t work then ask for the pill. If that doesn’t work, ask for referral to gynae.

Reassure your daughter that you are are advocating for her and taking it seriously.

The gynae can offer the mirena under anaesthetic and an mri to check for endometriosis. Although a diagnosis won’t necessarily change anything it will mean that school will take it more seriously.

She will not be started on antidepressants as only a psychiatrist can prescribe in this age group.