AIBU to be cross about school dismissing my daughter's severe periods?

My son had an abscess on his tooth that made his whole face swell up and he was literally banging his head off the desk in pain and they wouldn’t let him go down to reception to get some prescription pain relief. He had to sit there with tears streaming down his face in fucking English literature.
Hardly something that’s going to change the world with his increased knowledge of the subject
Schools are being run like a young offenders unit at the moment with children being prepared for what I don’t know given that every person I know with a decent job is working from home in their flip-flops and their pants
Anybody would think they’re being prepared for some reality that might be a little bit more harsh, but it’s certainly not the world of work

I really feel for your daughter. I started getting horrific period pains at 13. I would be screaming in pain, had to sit in a warm bath for hours as it was the only thing that helped. I ended up in an ambulance needing gas and air, the paramedics left the canister with me at hospital. Mefenamic acid 500mg, self adhesive heat pads, hot water bottle and baths helped. Try and get the gp to prescribe Mefenamic acid or something similar. They should also refer for an ultrasound and to the gynecologist. Period pain is often dismissed as something to be expected and to be put up with. But I know how debilitating it is. On a positive note, mine did start to improve about age 22 and now at 30 they are still there but completely manageable with medication.
Tell school they must make reasonable adjustments for health care needs. This is not optional. Suggest they offer virtual lessons during the worst days

Take her to a decent doctor and get her on the Pill. The new generation of OCPs are so much better than the old ones. My DD went on the Pill at about 12yo. She had awful period pain and heavy periods and was needing multiple pain relief medications and time off school. The Pill fixed all of that. She takes Slinda. It’s a mini Pill. Her period is now a mere annoyance instead of an ordeal.

Your DD is not you. Let her try the OCP and antidepressants. Currently her period situation sounds miserable and the treatment by the school is awful. No need for her to suffer.

So you don’t want her on meds from 14 but you’re happy for her to miss school monthly?

The ‘medical room’ in a lot of schools is often a couple of chairs in a corridor manned by overstretched office staff doing several different jobs.
I’ve often encountered students at 8.31am complaining of feeling ill. When questioned they say a parent sent them in to ‘give it a go and speak to the school nurse’. The days are long gone when the average school could afford to employ a dedicated school nurse. Get your daughter to the gp to get an official diagnosis then speak to the school about getting a care plan in place for the times when your daughter is struggling.
Meanwhile, check the school policy re carrying a small amount of medication for personal use (one dose to take in the middle of the school day). I find it hard to believe that the average school has the resources to carry out routine bag searches for no apparent reason.

But you are being passive! This is affecting her education, a critical part of childhood and you appear to be doing nothing other than complaining about the school. The school are correct to question it when you don't have any formal acknowledgement from a medical professional. You're sending them mixed messages - your daughter is so unwell she can't attend school but you've done very little about it! Get her to a doctor and fight for them to do something.

That's awful. Even back in the 1980s my school dealt with my painful periods plus fainting and vomiting, better than this.

I agree about doctor again, soon. I went on the pill after trying a few other things and it was life changing for me.

💐 for your daughter from a fellow sufferer, now aged 51!

I’m so sorry. There is a chance she has endometriosis but I would push your GP for a referral to a specialist. The school is being outrageous but sign off from a specialist may help xx

Tranexamic acid is for heavy periods. It won’t help with the other symptoms she gets.

She pops 2 tablets into the same bag she keeps her tampons or towels in - they won’t notice them.

There are so many different types of pills. The pill is a very standard treatment for PMDD with a decent enough success rate that it’s worth starting to trial some of the better ones. The fact they don’t work for you shouldn’t block starting to work through the options for your DD. I can’t imagine just being passive when she is clearly suffering a lot. If the pill doesn’t work, the bleeding/pain can be managed with better medications, and an antidepressant can be used for the mood aspect. There are so many options but you have to advocate for her!
There is also quite a significant correlation between PMDD and neurodiversity apparently. I have PMDD and ADHD, so when the perimenopause specialist told me that, I wasn’t surprised. It’s worth considering if it’s a factor for your DD too

Your poor dd. I get awful flooding with my periods. Not much pain now I'm older thank goodness (although they were really painful before I had children). I always get anaemia too so feel dizzy and tired etc. Period pants worn with a heavy duty pad and huge tampon changed every 45 minutes will usually be enough to prevent me leaking. Tranexamic acid stops the anaemia and means I can make it 2 hours between pad/tampon changes.

Why doesn't she have her own nurofen on her so she can take take it when she needs it?

Feel for your DD op. I’m lucky my school didn’t mind about taking meds and were ok to send me to sick bay.

I was prescribed mefanemic acid and also, one of my dad’sn girlfriends introduced me to Feminax which has codeine in it.

I went on the combined pill age 21 and never had pain since.

My dd has very strong prescription painkillers and an anti-cramping medication. She still has a fairly awful time compared to most, but occasionally she accidentally misses the window for taking the meds on time and we get a glimpse of what life would be like without meditation. She vomits and passes out from the pain. Unbearable. Strong meds make her life livable.

When you go back to the gp get them to prescribe the ibuprofen and that way school will have to store and administer it. I would strongly recommend a second opinion with the gp and really push that this is impacting her daily life, unable to access education, participate in sport etc. Women get fobbed off with heavy periods, expected to just get on with it. If you were bleeding heavily and in that much pain from any other place on your body you'd get a lot more support.

How long has she been having periods OP? My 14 yo started at 11, so its been 3 years already.

My 17 yo started at 13 and started the pill 3 years later.

If it's been over a year, that is enough time for them to settle down if they were going to.

Ask the GP for either tranexamic + mefanamic acid tablets or the combined pill.

Hi, we had similar problems. Luckily our school was more understanding. Her mental health issues (which are always there) get much worse during her period but physical issues have been intolerable too. Sometimes vomiting, loads of pain, weakness and fatigue. Taking 3 or 4 tranexamic acid on days 1-4 with feminax express has been life changing. Some months are still bad even with the medication but not as bad. And some months with this medication routine, she has coped quite well. She is also on Sertraline for her mental health which has helped but she takes the other two along side it during her period and that helps with the physical issues. It is awful, feel so sorry for your daughter and mine. Very unfair that they have to go through this. You need to either get the school on board or send her in with her own medicine which she can take herself.

You make a nuisance of yourself at the doctors

If you aren’t pushing the issue with medical professionals then school has no reason to think this is as serious as you’re saying. Get your daughter some help

So the school think ibuprofen will solve things but also won't let her take them in school?

I think unless you have had a bad period you have no idea what it is like. For me throwing up in school made them pay attention. I was still asked why I was off 'regularly' by a male teacher. My response of, "Yes it's every 28 days" sorted him out.

OP please don't let your DD suffer, I tried lots of different things, prescription meds of various types. Eventually I went on the pill.

My mother was furious that I was on it but it was the only thing that worked.

Sorry I've just seen t that you have answered about the GP while I was posting. Take her back and keep taking her back. I had awful periods at her age and my daughter has had an absolutely terrible time. Don't let anyone minimise it.