Birthday iPad gone before the weekend’s even started. AIBU not replacing it?

OP may not have home insurance, not everyone does if on tight budget. OP, I hope you can have a calm talk with your son to get to the bottom of what happened, because I don't think you're getting the truth at the moment.

Oh OP I really feel for you. You must feel so deflated after working and saving so hard to buy it for him.

I hope you get to the bottom of it.

He probably got mugged and is embarrassed to tell you. A lot of the kids at school have been mugged and had their technology stolen. One had his phone taken at knifepoint. I think you need to get to the bottom of it. If people think he's got money he could get targeted.

Let him calm down and then very calmly ask for the facts.
If it has been stolen it needs to be reported to the police.
If he has given it away you need to know who, as you will be contacting them to get it back.

I think I’d go with the first story. Then you reacted because he took it to the park and he changed the story? It sounds like he is being bullied by other kids? That would be my first concern.

• Don’t replace it. If there’s no money, there’s no money. That’s a natural consequence, and the school can help if he needs a device for homework.
• Speak to the school on Monday. Explain what’s happened and ask for support. If the older boys go to the same school, they need to know as it could be a safeguarding issue.
• Report it to the police on 101. If he was threatened, pressured or intimidated into handing over the iPad, it may not simply be a case of him “selling” it. Give the police as much information as you can about the boys involved.
• Get the full story when things have calmed down. Let him know that whatever happened, you need the truth so you can help him.
• Keep him away from those boys. Whether he made a poor decision or was pressured into it, they’re clearly not a good influence.
• Don’t blame yourself. You worked hard to buy him something for school and his birthday. This isn’t a reflection of your parenting. The priority now is finding out what happened and making sure he’s safe.

Police for the iPad.

Stop him hanging out at the park. It isn’t safe there.

And stop letting him out unsupervised if he can’t be trusted.

I'm not clear why you went for the most expensive option when you clearly can't afford it.

A cheap laptop or android tablet would do what he needs.

You need to use the IMEI number off the box to track it and then go to the police. And if you do get it back, sell it and make sure he doesn't have anything that expensive and attractive to thieves again.

Another one to say call the police

Police.
You need to get to the bottom of this, it reads like he’s being controlled by someone. And that’s potentially a lot more serious than a lost iPad

He tells you where it is or you call the police. One chance to be honest. Then you go get it back or you call the police.

Track it on find my iPad

The bigger issue here is the crowd he seems to have fallen into, imo. That needs addressing asap.

Why did he have it out in a field? Also didn’t you have find my set up? If not there’s pretty much nothing the police can do as there’s no way to track it but you can report it nevertheless. It’s obvious someone nicked it.

why is he going to the park with a brand new iPad? especially given the background of police involvement.

see if you can locate it on find my iPad etc

consider a refurbished unit next time

You obviously need to find out what has had actually happened.
The fact that he keeps flip flopping on different stories is highly concerning. At worst he's been robbed, at best he's made a really stupid decision.
Discovering what has happened informs your next steps...... Police, talking to the other boys parents......

Whatever happens, he must get consequences. I do wonder if he has ADHD or something around reckless decision making

This.

You “losing it” didn’t make his feel safe to tell you. I understand your frustration but you should not be thinking of replacing it.
Hopefully you will both be able to have a reassuring conversation where he feels safe and he’ll tell you the truth.

Household insurance should cover it but it's probably not worth claiming. I assume it's a cheaper model at about £400 or so and an excess might be £100, and premiums will go up.

I don't understand why you haven't done 'find my iPad' and seen where it is??

Bullying
Exploitation (criminal ? Debt bondage)
Theft
Get the iPad locked if you can/tracked if you can, surely it was set up so it can be tracked?
I would be talking to DS again and explaining you are getting Police involved, and then I would call Police/log a crime and explain your concerns

Another vote for the police. From which you’ll get a crime ref number, and when you say you hadn’t sorted insurance, do you have contents home insurance? Although it’s an expensive item, it likely comes under their threshold of single items, so could be an angle.

I would think some bigger lads have taken it off him.

Calmly ask where the lap top is right now and with whom.

Visit the local Police or the ones whom your son already knows. Report the problem and ask for them to have it returned.

If you are successful, allow DS12 allocated time in a living room in your home where he can use the lap top fully supervised. Install safe child locks and allow no more than one hour per day after he has finished his homework.

You keep control and ownership of the laptop.

Your son is vulnerable and easily led. He needs more parental supervision and boundaries. He has problems with telling the truth and following rules.

Another vote for the police