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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dh has announced his retirement date and I feel irritated by it

457 replies

PerfectTiming1 · 03/07/2026 20:44

DH has been talking about retiring for a few years. He has just told me when he would like to finish work and it coincides with our youngest starting secondary.
I feel a bit irritated by this timing. I was a sahm to our DC until youngest started school. I got a job that allowed flexibility and I did all school admin. Concerts. Assemblies. Sports Days etc.
It just feels a bit… convenient. Like he has waited until the DC need (significantly) less support to then be available. AIBU?

OP posts:
Ibiza25 · 03/07/2026 20:57

I’m confused..would you not be happy your husband is able to retire? You must not like him much

TeenToTwenties · 03/07/2026 20:56

He can assist with all the homework and revision.

Octavia64 · 03/07/2026 20:55

Yeah if he’s retiring as the youngest starts secondary he can deal with all the teenage angst. There’s a lot of it,

a retired friend of mine went for day long bike rides to get away from the teenagers

PinkyFlamingo · 03/07/2026 20:54

It was your choice to be a SAHM though. Your choice to do all the stuff you did. Are you regretting him not doing more?

BeardySchnauzer · 03/07/2026 20:54

The secondary years have been far harder than the primary years in this house!!!

make sure he agrees to be primary parent before he realises!!

CalmWriter · 03/07/2026 20:51

Has he financially supported all of you prior to your youngest starting secondary? If so I imagine he needs a break.

Are you older parents? I’ll be 36 when my youngest starts secondary school, I can’t imagine retiring at that age.

NullaEffugium · 03/07/2026 20:51

The joke is on him because DC do not have less needs or time commitment in secondary school. Would you rather do a bath and bed routine and be done by 9pm or get a call at midnight asking for a lift from the back of beyond, go pick up a drunk kid who potentially will coat the inside of the car in vomit and wondering if drugs were taken at a party?